Blog Wars IV

(Quick summary for those of you trying to follow along - Blog Wars IV immediately follows below)

Declaration of War
Response to Declaration of War
Blog Wars I
Blog Wars II
Blog Wars III

****

Colonel Kira walked briskly down the Promenade on her way to Ops. It had been, she reflected, a fairly quiet day in the life of DS9 and for that, she was very grateful. Yes, of course, there was the typical whining that accompanied this type of job - mostly from Cardassians who suddenly weren't so tough anymore.

"Colonel!"

Kira turned at the sound of Ezri Dax's voice. Inadvertantly, the image of Ezri dressed as an elf for the ancient Terran holiday of Christmas jumped into Kira's head. The green outfit, with its little green slippers with the upturned toes, had looked amazingly good on Ezri and Kira could not help but notice that Bashir had been likewise drawn to his girlfriend's curious costume.

"Counselor," Kira said. "What is it?"

"This just came for you," Ezri said. "And since there was no one else in Ops to deliver it-"

"You were in Ops?" Kira asked in disbelief. "Ezri, you're no allowed in Ops." Kira had banned Ezri from Ops several weeks back when Ezri had attempted to counsel an officer still suffering from Post-Dominion War Stress; unfortunately, the treatment had backfired and now the poor officer was deluded into thinking he was a shapeshifter and insisted on being treated as a God. Ezri, however, usually fell back on her seven - or was it eight? - lifetimes of experience as a way of getting herself out of most situations, but Kira refused to be cowed on this particular matter. No Ops for Ezri, none at all.

Ezri shrugged off Kira's comment though in that irritatingly elven way of hers. "I think you'd better read the message. Sounds serious."

Kira scanned the PADD quickly. "Looks like they want us to send the Defiant -"

"Wasn't the Defiant destroyed?" Ezri asked.

"We got a new one," Kira said. She frowned. "I think. Maybe around the same time as we got the seventh Weyoun?"

"I thought it was the ninth Weyoun."

"They all look the same," Kira said, dismissing Ezri's comments with a wave of her hand. Too much to keep track of, Kira thought.

After all, she was a former terrorist (no, no, resistance fighter!), not an administrator! "Looks like there's a dispute going on. Quite a serious one. Might impact the Fanfiction Treaty."

"The Fanfiction Treaty?" Ezri scowled. "Haven't heard of it. What does it involve?"

"Evidently, the parties involved are Seema and Lori."

"Who?"

"I have heard those names!" a thunderous voice bellowed from behind them. Kira and Ezri turned around slowly.

"Worf?" Ezri asked.

"Oh this is contrived," Kira said. "What shabby reason brought you here today?"

"This is the type of welcome you give after all this time?" Worf asked. He frowned. "I am diplomat - no, a warrior - no, a Starfleet officer. I deserve respect!"

Kira nodded. "Of course, Worf, it's wonderful to see you again. What brings you here?"

"I've been sent by Captain Picard," Worf said. "Apparently, there is a dispute over the Fanfiction Treaty. I have been asked to resolve this feud."

"And I thought you'd come to see me," Ezri complained. "What's the matter with you, Worf? You never meet me in the holodeck for bat'leth practice and you never send me flowers anymore. And," her voice turned silky, "you don't read me Shakespeare any more or sing Gilbert and Sullivan."

"Good riddance," Bashir said. Kira turned around.

"Where did you come from?" Kira said.

"Medical explanation or just the obvious answer?" Bashir asked.

"Still a child, I see," Worf boomed. "Immature and lacking in all tact and subtlety."

"Hello pot, this is the kettle," Bashir jeered back. He took Ezri by the arm. "Are you back for my girlfriend? Can't have her without a
fight, you know."

"No fighting!" Kira yelled.

"I am not a possession," Ezri said. She wrenched her arm free from Bashir's grasp. "I make my own decisions. For instance, I like prune juice, so there!"

"A warrior's drink," Worf said approvingly. He held out his arm and Ezri took it willingly. "I have a holodeck program that I think you will
enjoy."

"No!" Bashir screeched. He hurled himself at Worf, but the strong Klingon merely flicked his hand in the direction of the doctor, sending the young man sprawling across the Promenade, landing at the feet of Vic Fontaine and Quark. Kira groaned.

"That damned light bulb is back," she said. She turned her attention back to the PADD, trying to ignore the fact that Ezri and Worf were staring slavishly into each other's eyes. "Now, Mr. Worf, since you're here-"

"Not now," Worf grumbled. "Come, Ezri, let us run away to the woods of Sherwood." He smiled dreamily - or as dreamily as a Klingon could - "I shall be Robin Hood and you, you would be enchanting as Maid Marian."

"You, my merry man," Ezri sighed deeply, her large brown eyes widening with devotion.

"I think I'm going to be ill," Quark said.

"I am ill," Bashir moaned from his spot on the floor. Vic leaned down to pull Bashir to his feet.

"This looks serious." Kira waved the PADD in the general direction of those surrounding her. Yet, they paid no attention whatsoever. "It looks to me like there is a crucial decision to be made here, namely, who is responsible for the idea and the creation thereof a story?"

"Fanfiction Treaty?" Vic Fontaine asked in interest. "Doll, that sounds interesting. Like a club or something. What the girls call me. In fact, how about this? Tonight, you come, bring pally over here -" he indicated Worf - "and I've got some new material. You can talk this fan stuff out then. How about it, doll?"

Kira scanned the PADD, doing her best to ignore Vic. She knew that Vic was responsible for finally allowing her to acknowledge her feelings for Odo, but really, the man was annoying at best and downright irritating the rest of the time. As she read the material on the PADD, Kira knew there was plenty of good stuff involved in this dispute between Lori and Seema. In fact, something like this had never been seen before and she was quite interested in the whole concept of origination.

"I believe it would be worth our while to mediate this dispute," Kira announced. But no one was listening. Worf had swept Ezri up into his arms and was walking away, despite Bashir's protests that anyone who married Worf was likely to end up dead. Kira sighed.

"I bet Captain Sisko never had to deal with things like this," Kira said in frustration. She turned on her heel and walked away, conveniently forgetting about Julian Bashir, still lying simpering on the floor.