Wednesday, July 31, 2002

New Blog War entry from the Incomparable Miss Barr. Smurfs, yummy ::grin::

Me. I'm over here, but you're going to have to forgive me if I'm not on top of the emailing/feedback/beta/reading/blogging/commenting thing. The NonResponsive group is making me crazy and I have a nightmarish thought of having to do the whole dang paper myself since they refuse to respond on something simple as distribution strategies. Not to mention, I just realized that my stats exam next week is on the same day as the presentation. And I'm only on page
68 of my marketing text book and that exam is on Tuesday. But this is progress! And I only have 3 problems left on the stats homework that is due on Friday - which is a very good place to be.

So please, be patient with me. Classes get out on August 17 and then I'll have a couple weeks to get caught up before the madness starts up again.

Tuesday, July 30, 2002


New blog war entry from Lori! I think freeshell is down, but if was up, you would be able to read the Official Annotated Guide to the Blog Wars there.

And I love Angie. Seriously. She just sent me the outlines for the marketing textbook. Outlines are no joke, kids - they seriously are life savers and can make all the difference when it comes to reviewing. We're talking about documents that can be between 20 to 50 pages long, but that beats rereading 500 pages (hint to Lori: this is the way to go). I guess this means all of the outlines I did last year for others is paying off for me now.
Does anyone else have problems with things just going AWOL on their template when adding/deleting things on the template? Why oh why won't my sitemeter respond properly like the good little javascript it is?
Stats was indeed cancelled as I hoped. Which meant that the apartment got a good, thorough cleaning which it desperately needed.

I had a brainstorm on Ecuador yesterday - mostly because I ran into Robbie in the grocery store (in the dairy section, which btw, is not the place to chat about school, apparently - because you block off the whole world from vital staples like milk and eggs) and he gave me his take on the project - which is polar opposite from mine. Which is fine. Because I like his better. It's more manageable and I can stop stressing about that and stress about other things - I can always find something to stress about, so don't worry about me on that front ::grin::
My list of things to do is way too long. Our professor promised us a shorter assignment this week than last week's marathon session. She did tell the truth in a way: it's two problems shorter. Which makes me cringe. Really, truly cringe. Because I sat at my kitchen table for literally hours doing those sixty problems last week thinking, "Okay, why do I want to do statistics this badly?"
I finished the set at midnight on Thursday, or is that Friday - at any rate, I finished it just after midnight and it was due just nine hours later. And really, I hadn't procrastinated at all - I started on Monday when it was assigned and worked pretty diligently through the week. Yet, at midnight, that's when I finished. Some of my classmates never even got through the whole thing - there was so much of it. And we have one less day to do it now, since it was assigned today and it's due on Friday morning as usual.

I'm hoping that class is cancelled tomorrow - she's sick, so hopefully that will buy us a little time to get some of these problems done. I don't like not finishing assignments, even if it only worth 10 percent of our total grades.

Then there's the Ecuador project. Due next week. We haven't started yet. We had a team panic moment this afternoon and I kept saying, "We're going to be fine, we're going to be fine." That was before I tried to actually sit down and write the implementation plan and realized how hard it is to forecast profit five years into the future when you just have no idea.

Then there's the marketing exam. On Tuesday. I'm still on chapter two of the textbook. I think there are 13 chapters to get me from here to over there.

I owe a beta. I owe email. I owe phone calls. I owe fic. I owe a blog war post. This will never change - it's a perpetual state of being with me. I should just accept this sad, sad reality of a virtual life.

Monday, July 29, 2002

The things the Mod Squad makes its members do. Sometimes, it's downright freaky. Garak/7, for instance. Don't know where it came from, but there you have it. Phonebook fic. Poolboys. All of this stuff. Weird. And then Christine said this today:
And by the way, Seema, I would pay good money to see you write, "I have an Alara Rogers Award Best Author Award At ASC - You can all kiss my butt!!" in your blog.
I'm unemployed - I'll never turn down the offer of "good money" so, there you have it. I'd rather have written Garak/7 but Jemima got that one, so instead, I'm here saying that. ::sigh::
If you're bored...

I need to know:

  • how much it costs to build a manufacturing plant in Ecuador (I'll settle for South America at this point)
  • how much those little plastic cases that eyeshadow etc come in costs
  • how much make-up Origins sell in a year
  • any company that competes directly with origins in the natural make-up category
  • the average wage of a worker in Ecuador
  • who makes those little plastic cases that eyeshadow etc comes in
  • infrastructure of Ecuador
  • what kind of equipment is needed to manufacture said make-up cases
  • the cost of that equipment required

No, unfortunately not for ficcable purposes. If only. And speaking of fics, since the ASC year ended on February 1, I've only written four stories, two "Glory Days" stories, one silly PWP at Jemima's instigation (trust me, it's not what you think) and the J/P at Lori and Jerie's request. Four. Last year, I wrote a total of 22 stories, including several that were novella-length. So behind I am.

Granted, I was in Europe for six weeks, traumatized for about two weeks over the job situation, in California for a week - so nine weeks of non-ficcing.

And now, I have Ecuador hanging over my head.
I forgot to mention that the second part of Barb's VVS story, Deep Down is online and at the risk of channeling Sally Field, I really, really, really like this one. No, the high P/T factor certainly doesn't hurt. ::grin:: Plus you get to see some old "friends" here (and I use that term very loosely, btw). Very, very satisfying read. So why are you still here? Shoo. Go read.

Stats exam is done. Whew. Took me the full time to finish it off and I had to guess on the last two problems because they were completely out in left field. It's not fun when that happens and I hate not knowing how to solve anything or how to approximate enough to get close to the actual answer. But I still think I did okay. I have a little bit of leeway on this one as I did well on the first one. Still, I'd really like to avoid having to take the final and the only way to do that is to get an A either on this exam or the one next week.

The challenges are piling up in my inbox. I'm debating on the C/7 fic with the three year time limit that Christine put on that relationship, or the Tom and Chakotay Romper Room fic together with Alien Spores... then there is the phonebook fic. Not to mention, the two stories I have for the "Glory Days" universe left.

But first, I need to find out how much it costs to build a manufacturing plant in Ecuador. Really. If you know the answer, please email me.

Sunday, July 28, 2002

Lori and Liz Barr both did this - they got it from Alara. I'm *such* a follower.

1. You obviously have some desire for an audience or you wouldn't be posting your fics to the net. But if you were on a desert island with your computer and a generator to power it, and no one would ever likely read your fics again, would you still write?

Yes. Definitely. I was writing way before anyone wrote me to tell me that they were reading (hi, Liz!). Even now, without stats, I'm not always sure that people are reading on a regular basis. The FB is nice, because it tells me that people do stop by, do read it, and I love that some of the older stories on the site still generate FB.

If you would, would you write the same stuff you write now, or something different?

Good question. My guess is possibly more original stuff - it just depends where you are in canon and how into a show you are. For instance, I'm not going to start writing X-Files on a deserted island, even though I really enjoy reading it now - I just don't have the canon to back up what I'm doing or the necessary resources. It really depends how I'm hearing the "voices."
The minute the voices go strange, then it's time to stop writing that character, pairing, show, etc.

2. Have you ever written a fic featuring characters, a pairing, a fandom, or a genre that you don't usually write, just to get more feedback?

No, not really. I did anticipate more FB when I wrote my first VOY fic, but that was mostly because of the nature of the beast, in the sense that DS9 fic
rarely gets much FB compared to VOY. But did I go after it actively? No. Fic is only good to the extent that you can hear those "voices" in your head and if you're going after a pairing or a 'ship just because sometimes it backfires on you. The best fics are the ones that seem to come naturally to the writer, the ones without ulterior motives other than having a story to
tell. And if you write quality fic, the FB does come. It just takes time and a whole lot of effort. Too often, I get the feeling that some things
are written with the expectation of FB, but the effort you'd expect an author to put into a fic simply isn't there.

Ever done the above with characters, pairing, fandom or genre that you actively dislike?

Not for FB purposes, no. I have written pairings on challenges just because I can never resist a good challenge (nor can I resist giving them either ::waves
to Sara::). There's some pairings I'm not especially fond of but I have written them anyway. The only pairing I actively dislike is J/J, but that's more out of the ugliness and politics surrounding that pairing in the first place and
at this point, both W/D and J/J seem to be mostly dead anyway, so it's a moot point. Other than the fact that W/D is canon ::grin::

3. Same as question 2, but: have you ever done it to impress one person or one small group of people in particular?

Only if it was a challenge and in that case, quot;impress" wouldn't be the right word. It's more of a stepping up to the challenge and seeing if I
can meet expectations.

4. Have you ever written a fic just to flirt with someone?


5. Has someone ever flirted with you via fic?

No. Gee. I think I'm missing out.

6. Have you ever participated in a shared world or RR?

Yes. Round Robins in the W/D world - the mailing list came up with this very convulated, crazy story that's something like 2000K in size and still going - no one even remembers what the original plot is anymore, but it's pretty fun
to see what's coming around the corner.

7. Have you ever written a story in some other ficcer's universe or based on events in their story, when it was not intended to be a shared world or an RR?

Yes. I wrote "Red", which belongs to jenn's "Points of View" universe (a very strange, dark take on the aftermath of "Drive"),
but only after jenn challenged me to do so. It was an interesting write, because it was soo different from what I usually write and just out there, in terms of what I typically go after in terms of characterization. But it was fun to see if I could match style and tone to another writer who was so different from me.

There are also the stories in the "Glory Days" universe - which are based off the original "Glory Days" by Rocky. And when I got the draft in my inbox, the characterization and tone of the piece got me thinking and so then I asked Rocky if she minded if I took a shot at writing a follow-up. One thing led to another and now there are four stories there, two by Rocky, two by me, with more scheduled to come. This was interesting to write simply because we're extrapolating on what life for VOY looks like five years after their return - it's not the happy wine and roses endings that some readers were expecting, but more bittersweet. It's been fun to just think on what could be.

If so, did you do it because you liked the person, liked the story, hated the person, or hated the story? Or was there another reason?

In both cases, I liked both the person and the initial story that I wrote the follow-ups to. I don't think I could have written in either universe if that wasn't the case. There's a criteria of mutual respect necessary to work in someone else's universe, plus the ability to compromise on plot and characterization. When that's not there, I think it's next to impossible to put out a quality product. Of course, I would question then why someone would write in another universe if they didn't like the author or the story.

8. Have you ever written a story as a deliberate response to someone else's story? Not another story set in their universe or based on events in their fic, but something they had to say in their fic provoked a response in you that you wrote a story to express, rather than explaining your point of view in a review or feedback.

Only if you count the Poolboy fics and the blog wars, which are thinly disguised soapbox stances. But I don't think I've come out directly against a story publicly. Or maybe it could be my Julian Bashir characterizations - I did not care for early Bashir characterizations by other W/D writers, so I made a deliberate attempt to make my Bashir somewhat more three-dimensional, a real human being
with feelings and intelligence.

9. Have you written autobiographical fic?

Not in fanfic, no. At least not deliberately. I'm so scared of Mary Sue-ism that I try to stay far, far away from anything that might be remotely autobiographical.
But that's not to say I haven't used elements of my life as dressing on a fic, such as taking the name of a nearby town for "Southern Fried Paris" or adapting the French Riviera for Kira's vacation.

10. Have you written biographical fic (used other people's real lives in your fic?)

No, not really. Their names, maybe, but not their lives. I'm too scared of being found out. Oh, I take that back. Poolboy fic and blog wars. I did do those based on RL person.

If so, was the person a ficcer, an RL friend or family member who you met through non-ficcing avenues, or a famous person you don't really know personally?

All people involved in the Poolboy fics and the blog wars are either ficcers or famous!people. The ficcers in the Poolboy fics are Mod Squad members, so it was all done in good fun and they contributed to most of the in-jokes anyway. And no, the famous people don't know that they are poolboys ;-)

11. Have you deliberately put real people you know in fic? If so, was it to honor them, get revenge on them, or just because they seemed like a good character to use?

I haven't really done any of this other than the poolboy and blog war fics. And again, those had a lot to do with a lot of things that I wanted to say, that the others involved in the Blog Wars wanted to say - it's not deep literature, but it says a lot about what we may have been thinking or feeling about fandom or fic at any given moment in time. But really, it was just silliness.

12. Have you ever given up on a story because it was getting no feedback? What about a genre, character, pairing or fandom?

No. The story I've tried to finish (slowly) is the one I get the most FB for, for some reason. I give up on stories when I get bored, but not before that. I accept that some days there is FB, some days there isn't. When posting to ASC, it's a two-headed beast - you're adored one day, ignored the next. It's an interesting phenomena, but most of the writers there have accepted this fact and keep writing. It's really a matter of hanging in there and to me, that's what separates the good writers from the rest, simply because the good ones
understand that it's nothing personal, that they keep chugging at it and they know that if they turn out something with quality, they will get the recognition they deserve. And trust me, it doesn't come overnight (though for some rare cases, it does). At least in my experience, it took me five years of posting to ASC to get to where I am now (wherever that is) and even that
isn't a guarantee of how a story will be received. So yeah, that can be really hard and frustrating sometimes, but it's really important just to believe in the story you're writing and do the best possible job you can there. Giving up on a fic because of lack of FB demonstrates, mho, a general lack of enthusiasm in general about the story that was being written in the first place.

13. Have you ever given up on a fandom, or a subset of it (fans of a specific genre, character or pairing), because of the fan politics?

No. I'm never rabid enough about a subset of fandom to give up on it if others don't like it or whatever. But I've also found myself surrounded by people who write different pairings, have different ideas, and are generally accepting of other POVs or other 'ships. You need to have that acceptance in order to grow as a writer, I think, to venture into new territory or look at characters
from a different angle. In fandom though, too often you get the One True Pairing and the factions develop from there. One of my best online friends belonged to "The Other Side" when I first started writing fanfic, and it was an interesting relationship to develop, simply because we were polar opposites, yet somehow we managed to put that aside and become good friends. She joined the W/D list for me and I joined the J/J list. So sometimes, you've got to take the first step and accept that there isn't One True Pairing. I think
it's the blinders that start the politics more than anything else.

14. When you prioritize the fics you want to write, do you keep what will please the audience best in mind, or do you base it solely on your personal feelings about the material?

I think if you set out to please a specific audience, you're going to be disappointed. Again, what I said about feedback applies here. You've got to write what you
want to write. If you don't like what you're writing, it's almost a given that the readers won't like it. You can definitely feel the "writer bias" in a piece of work. You can tell when a writer is driven to write something and when she isn't. I don't anticipate that the "audience", whoever they are, are eagerly awaiting my next fic, so instead I go where the muse directs me. If there's a reaction, fine, terrific, thanks - I'm really appreciative and touched. If there isn't a reaction ("A Delicate Affair" got almost
no reaction at all), then there it is - there is no reaction from the "audience", but I've written something that I felt I needed to write and that's what's most important. I can't depend on the quot;audience" because the tastes change rapidly and I think I'd be doing a great disservice to my own fic if I was catering, rather than writing what I feel I should write - what I'm pushed to write.

15. Do you ever incorporate "fanon" (things many writers have said about characters, that were never established in the canon source) into
your work knowingly? (That is, you know canon doesn't back it up, but you decide to use it anyway.) If so, do you use it because you independently came to the
same conclusion, because it was such a cool idea, or because using it will make your work better liked? Or some other reason?

I don't usually write fanon. I'm like Lori in that sense, in that I try to avoid fanon, unless for some reason I really, really like it. For instance, I do not care for the fanon of Tom giving B'Elanna the nickname B'E. I abhor that nickname and refuse to use it and rarely read fics where it's used. It's fanon, not canon, and my view of the character is such that I can't see B'Elanna responding to a nickname. That's an extreme example and pretty much the only one that sticks out in my mind right now. Of course, there's the fanon of C/7 not living happily ever after either and depending on my mood, I can either accept it or not. I like canon. Really like canon, so C/7 to me is canon so I accept it as such. It doesn't mean I like it, but I figure TPTB put it there and the challenge, at least for me, is to mold this canon into something that's acceptable.

16. You get into a new fandom and you fall in love with a specific character. You go online and find out:

- there are no stories about this character. What do you do?

Depends on how motivated I am. I imagine I might write some.

- all the stories, practically speaking, are about this character. What do you do?

Analyze the stories, figure out what I like, don't like, and take it from there.

17. Do you have friends online? Do you feel you will lose them if you don't write fic? What if you write fic in a different fandom?

Yes, I have many friends online, some dating back to '97 when I first started writing actively on the web. I don't think I'll lose them if I don't write fic, at least I hope I don't lose them. Precedent says that most of my online friendships are stronger than the fic we write. Liz has long left Trek, but we're still here, goofing off on IM late at night. The Mod Squad is partially burned out, mostly out of Trek, but somehow, we've still managed to have an interesting group dynamic that doesn't necessarily confine itself to just Trek; Liz Barr has gone to HP, Christine has moved on to other things - it's all good, because I think when push comes to shove, we can depend on each other to get the job done, even if it's in another fandom completely. Other friends I talk
about things other than fanfic - we've gone past that, and a couple I've met in RL or talked to on the phone. So once you're at that point, it's really hard to walk away from someone who you've spent a good two or three years corresponding with, and in the cases of Liz and Tracy, it'll be close on five years now. And yes, it is possible to miss an epal who goes missing. There's
nothing more fun than that person resurfacing in your inbox.

What does it say about me that I "failed" the practice exam? Especially since my failures weren't concept-related or math-related, but more of a reading-problem. Anyway, read this: Escape because it's in my head and it should be in yours too. I don't want to be the only one suffering with Enrique on-repeat in my brain when there's stuff to be learned here.

Saturday, July 27, 2002

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Okay, so I'm going around the blogs and all around, there are cryptic references to spats and wars and random, vague insults going back and forth. Kids, I've been curious since I learned to speak (my first word apparently was "Happen?"). This is no fun - my own blog and list life is tame and generally non-contentious, so I feel left out of all of these random keruffles that keep popping up. I need information! Facts! Details! Names! URLs! Don't keep a girl in suspense!
I spent Friday and today with a very good friend of mine who drove down. It's always wonderful to spend time with an old friend, especially when you live very, very far away from where you grew up and lived for most of your life. The good news is we had a terrific time, as always, but the bad news is that she doesn't like it here and wants to move to another state by summer of next year. I don't blame her - I have thoughts of running away as well and will be looking for something out of state when I graduate (unless I can live where I used to live, for those of you know where I lived before I moved). I told her to stick around and wait for my graduation party ::g:: but if she gets a good job, she'll go. At the very least, I asked her to go somewhere interesting so that I could come and visit. After all, one of the best roadtrips I went on was with her when we drove up to Vancouver. We were talking about some of the funny moments on that trip and it was really great reliving it because it was a really good roadtrip.

I'm way behind in emails right now. I'm way behind on blogging as well. I haven't figured out the "angst versus" fluff thing yet, I had a fanfic rant at the edge of my tongue that's probably best left for other venues, and I'm still trying to figure out what I like about my writing - whether I even like it or not - and what I do best and what I do badly. There are quizzes to take, surveys to answer, meta to ponder, meta to answer, dregs to read and write.

But that's going to have to all wait until Monday. I have a stats exam Monday morning and get this - we're allowed 6 pages worth of notes plus the 2 pages we were allowed for the last exams. That just scares me. Someone said that by the last exam, we'll be allowed 12 pages of notes total. Blech. I don't like that.

But what I'm trying to say is that I need to get this studying done, because I was just rushing haphazardly through the homework assignment last week, trying to get all 60 of the problems done before they were due on Friday (and hopefully, they were mostly correct - we'll see). I know I owe people emails, phone calls, betas, and fic. I'm afraid it won't be happening until later Monday and possibly not until later on this week. Who knew being that being unemployed could make me so dang busy?

Friday, July 26, 2002

If your friends jumped off a cliff...

Because Jemima, Liz and Lori all did it:

The fourth book written, you're nevertheless the first chronologically. You not only describe the creation of Narnia and tell where the White Witch, the lampost and the wardrobe came from, you get to bounce between worlds with the help of Uncle Andrew's weird magic rings.

Find out which Chronicles of Narnia book you are.

I'm not even sure that I read the Narnia books. I did have more of a fondness for Lloyd Alexander's "Black Cauldron" series, and somehow, never got into Narnia as much.

Thursday, July 25, 2002

Palm Reading

Note: This is weirdly, eerily true. Especially the indecisive part.

You have a good imagination, and often exhibit sensitivity to others.

You have so many interests that you may have trouble deciding which ones to pursue.

You have plenty of inner ambition, but you need to beware of a tendency toward indecisiveness.

You are a warm hearted person, with much love to give.

There may be times in your life when you give in to feelings of sadness or depression.

You are likely to make decisions based on intuition or feelings rather than intellect. Your emotions sometimes overpower your common sense.

You have a basically strong constitution, and should enjoy good health most of the time.

There is a strong intuitive side to your nature, which may border on psychic or mystical ability.
Victoria responded to my thoughts on fandom and blogging. Some very good and valid points made over there.
New article at zendom: "Really Useful Writing Tips for All Writers" by ChristineCGB. Even if you think you rock as a writer, there's something in here for sure that can help you keep on rockin'.
Swiped from Jemima:

take the fic quiz.
because sara said to.

Like, was there even a question here? A mockry though? That might be a little strong. At least I do acknowledge that the characters of Janeway and Chakotay exist and that they share a "deep and special" friendship.

Wednesday, July 24, 2002

Avery Brooks is on my television screen. He's not being Sisko, but he's being someone else. It's kind of scary actually. Mostly because there are lots of people with guns in this movie and shooting. Lots of shooting. I'm frankly traumatized. The Big Hit.

Fire ants decided that my feet and legs were dinner. Or lunch. Or snack. In other words, a really, really big meal. If you live in an area that has not been completely overrun by these fearsome creatures, be glad. Be very, very glad. And if you have ever met a fire ant, I feel for you.
I think there's a point when your eyeballs start bleeding due to too much staring at F-tables, chi-square tables, and the such. Someone give me back my z and t tables. I love those. These other things with their random distributions, their nonnormal distribution (get a bigger sample already!), their independent and nonindependent random distribution, parametric versus nonparametric - so what I'm saying is that I'm two questions away from finishing said assignment, but I think, I need to research tagua instead.

For Lori

"... For testing one-sided hypotheses about M, we will use the binomial distribution to determine the rejection region. The testing procedure is called the sign test and is constructed as follows. Let y1... Yn be a random sample from a population having median M. Let the null value of M be M0 and define W1 = y1 - M0. The sign test statistic B is the number of positives Wis. Note that B is simply the number of y1s that are greater than M0. Because M is the population median, 50 percent of the data values are greater than the M and 50 percent are less than M. Now, if M = M0, then there is a 50% chance that y1s is greater than Mo and hence a 50% chance that Wi is positive. Because the Wis are independent, each Wi has a 50 percent chance of being positive whenever M = M0 and B counts the number of positive Wis under H0, B is a binomial random variable with pi = .5 and the percentiles from the binomial distribution pi =.5, given in .... "

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

Pieces of me you've never seen before

I've been listening to Tori Amos again. Little Earthquakes, that is, and it's been over eight years since I got this album and it's still my absoute favorite CD ever (next to Elton John's "Made in England").

I haven't really heard the other Tori CDs - but there is just something so raw, so honest about this one - plus it's great to study to, not to mention it's a great writing album (now 'fess up - how many people write to Tori?). I always feel like I'm getting something new out of this CD everytime I listen to it - and believe me, I've listened to it a lot.

The lyrics I love the most are below:

From "Crucify": Got enough GUILT to start, My own religion

From "Girl": She's been everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own

From "Winter": He says when you gonna make up your mind, When you gonna love you as much as I do, When you gonna make up your mind, Cause things are gonna CHANGE so fast

From "China": Sometimes I think you want me to touch you, How can I when you build a great WALL around you,
In your eyes I saw a future together, You just look away in the distance

From "Silent All These Years": Years go by will I still be waiting, For somebody else to understand, Years go by if I'm stripped of my beauty, And the orange clouds raining in my head, Years go by will I choke on my tears, Till finally there is nothing left, One more casualty,
You know we're too EASY easy easy

From "Mother": I escape into your escape into our very favorite fearscape

From "Tear in Your Hand": Maybe maybe it's time to wave goodbye now, Time to wave goodbye now

From "Little Earthquakes": Oh these little earthquakes
Here we go again, These little earthquakes,
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

Which Voyager Character are YOU?
Looking for a good cause? Save Martha.

Monday, July 22, 2002

I was thinking I needed a new pen name to go with the Mod Squad's prescription for my new!improved! ficself. I'm leaning towards renaming myself "The Flying Wombat."
Fic Rec

Because I'm back in the rec business apparently:

  • There's No Such Place by Liz Barr. I'm reccing a story that a) I haven't finished reading and that b) Liz is still writing. But it's that good and I take back everything I've ever said re having an intervention, because this lovely fic that gives a backstory to Lily and Snape makes losing Liz to HP all the worthwhile. Really.
  • Moot Point #1 by Punk M. Mulder and Scully get married. Or do they? No spoilers for anything but every single MSR fic ever written - or perhaps, every fic ever written. There are four stories in this series and all of them are ROTFL funny and pretty quick reads.


Sunday, July 21, 2002

Dragon-Tails. This one is hysterical, but more because it's relates to an in-joke between Liz and me. The dragons are really cute on this site.
ba da ba da da da ah ya ya
ba da da da ba ba ee ah
Ba ya ya ba ba de ba da da da ah ya ya

ba da ba da da da ah ya ya
ba da da da ba ba ee ah
Ba ya ya ba ba de ba da da da ah ya ya
Ba ya ha ya ah ah ah ah ah ba ba ya ya
ha ah ah ah ah ah ah

ba da ba da da da ah ya ya
ba da da da ba ba ee ah
Ba ya ya ba ba de ba da da da ah ya ya

ba da ba da da da ah ya ya
ba da da da ba ba ee ah
Ba ya ya ba ba de ba da da da ah ya ya
Ba ya ha ya ah ah ah ah ah ba ba ya ya
ha ah ah ah ah ah ah

Kiss From a Rose. Liz and I, we kid you not.
The night before Monday

I read through the neXt files today. Here are some recs:
  • Forbidden Mourning by MeridyM. Post-colonization, haunting and beautifully told in the third-person, mostly focusing on John Doggett. There's a lot going on here in a short amount of space and quite a bit of action gets covered in a very little amount of time.
  • North by DM. This would have to be among the best post-The Truth stories I've read. Mulder and Scully sound like Mulder and Scully, and they aren't chasing after William or falling all over themselves. They are two people dealing with life after - well, after the X-Files - and this is beautifully written.
  • Respite by Vivian. This one isn't as heavy as the others - in fact, comparatively, it's downright light-hearted. But I loved the Mulder and Scully characterization here and the quiet attention and care Mulder has for Scully. This is a story that shows so much and tells us very little.
  • Things to Pack When You're Dead by Martha. Five 155-word stories concerning the Lone Gun Men. Bittersweet and funny at the same time, yet a touching memorial to this eccentric trio; all of them stay in character the entire time. A quick but revealing read.
  • The Right to Remain Silent by Suture. This is different. MSR, but not MSR. This story is not what you expect for Mulder and Scully, given "The Truth" - this is a different version of "happily ever after" and probably not one that is popular these days. But it's beautifully written and crafted. It's almost beliveable, you can almost see it happening and it hurts just as much to read - almost like a punch to the stomach - this is one of the few fics that has done this to me in a long time.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Symbolism: More Symbolism Than You Can Shake a Stick At

what movie symbolism are you? find out!

Are you NASTY or NICE?

Quiz made by Angela
Gets youse meta here!

Metablog. You know, it was only a matter of time before someone did this.

And on a non-meta note, I'm currently burning my first CD ever. And with my luck, you know it's not anything more exciting than SPSS software - which is a really, really nifty $400 package which allows you to do all sorts of things with statistics. Yes, I'm definitely excited about this. I do think I need some rehab, and Liz, I change my mind - maybe stats and calc books should be allowed in the zen resort.

Liz Barr rocks.

Smallburn cackled as she opened the Yellow Pages.

"I love the phonebook," she said, "I'd read it any day. Got my favourite editions, of course. You can't go past a phonebook by Seema, that's what I always say. I just love the way the Organisation isn't included." She turned to Organisations, Covert and turned the book around so that Clark could have a look.

It's been days since I first read the latest weird in-joke/poolboy/Real Person fic and I'm still laughing. Go see Liz to get your autographed copy.
Sunday morning

Minor update to my Recommended Fanfic Authors links. Got some lovely "rerun" FB from Monica today for "Red", which cheered me up immensely. Have a few more pages to write for Kasidy before I have to head out. Everything is finally falling into place - not the best writing, I admit, mostly talking heads right now, but I just want to get the structure into place and nail the plot down for sure. In addition, Dregs is keeping me highly amused and tempting me in sooo many ways.

Saturday, July 20, 2002

Fic Rec

Just because I'm boring, doesn't mean the rest of the world is. Jessamie's Evil Twin's untitled snippet. Lovely, lovely, post-"William" fic. This has imagery, emotion, and the heaviness and absoluteness of colonization hanging over it. I love the voice used here and the perfect prose. If not an XF reader, this is worth it just for the stylistic perfection.
I'm turning into a boring writer. It's bad when you bore even yourself. Positive? Barbara Watson's Season 9 ep is up, which is not boring. So, I'm going to be over there to read that and muse on what I've been missing over there.

Friday, July 19, 2002

Min commented on my thoughts re blogs/LJs, as did Lori and Sara.

So I'll respond here, as it's easier to have more space. Lori said:

Part of what you're saying is the reason I have considered giving up the blog entirely - the meta, the diary, all of this takes away from the 'creative pool' from which I draw. It must, because there's a definite slowing of production since my involvement in these things.

I agree. I don't seem to thrive on the blog world as other people do - in fact, I feel the need to run away sometimes because it *does* interfere with writing and other online activities - there's way too much to keep track of sometimes if you want to be a "good blogger."

Lori also said:
On the other hand - you cannot find beta readers without networking. I have had feedback, struck up conversations, gained a brainstorming helper, then lost them to RL several times. It's why the majority of what I've written was not beta read, why I've mostly despaired of finding any help at all -- finding the right people online is a total crapshoot. I answered a request for beta and was the only one of 15 people the person emailed to even reply to her email. Times are tough.

Indeed, but I'm not sure that we're exactly networking in our blogs, are we? I mean, in other fandoms, yes, it's obvious - the cross-pollination of ideas, the collaborative efforts between authors. Being in Trek, I'm not sure that blogging is the way to go for beta readers or FB or anything else that is network-related. I think it has to do with the idea that Trek is so established - a lot of what is going to be discussed has been discussed and there are cliques that have been around for years. Writers find each other and hang out - they're not necessarily looking to find other people by reading our blogs. That, I think is setting our expections too high because Trek just isn't like that. But when my life calms down, I'll beta for you - promise, but when things calm down (I'm already in hot water with Liz).

Sara says:
Who says you cant write a story about a pairing you dont like? I think it could be written from a different angle than someone who is writing it as their One True Pairing. Which is a Good Thing.

I agree, but I was reacting more to what I had read in jenn's blog about what she had written about a character in her blog and then writing a fic that apparently contradicted what she had written in the first place (which is what I understood the post to be about). It just got me thinking about the things I've said privately in email to people about how I feel about certain pairings or about characters - if I said that here, how would that affect your perception of a fic that I wrote that was completely contradictory to what I wrote here in the blog?

For instance, I'm eyeing a fic on my hard drive that features a pairing that I've gone on record more than once saying that I'm not fond of. Now, the vast majority of people out there don't know - but it makes me feel strange to look at that fic and know that I'm not a big fan, but I still wrote it. And of course, now I've got to think what my motivations for writing it in the first place were, but I'd prefer that people don't know publicly how I feel about a character or a pairing etc. (Though I'm quite open about J/J - nope, sorry, not at all). I didn't mean to say that you can't write a pairing you don't like - I think anyone should write anything that the angst bunny tells them to write (or whatever bunny so moves you), but at the same time, I think there's an additional note of self-hypocrisy that comes into play if you do contradict something you've said publicly.
And it really could be my overriding sense of guilt - and maybe no one pays attention to anything I say in the first place, in which case the whole excercise is moot. Does that make any sense?

Min wrote:
I do not post publicly anything unfinished. Maybe that's a holdover from professional work, but it's both an odd paranoia and also a strong resistance to anyone seeing a piece beyond a handful of readers and my editor until it's ready to be "published." That, too, is a function of my previous experience, I'm sure.

I feel this way too. I think I did the snippet thing a couple times and then quit. Part of it was the 'unfinished' nature of the snippets, not sure that I want anyone but my beta to see what I'm working on - I'm really proprietary that way as well. The snippets don't always say what I want them to say either and I don't want anyone to witness my incoherence. At the same time, snippets don't always get finished and I don't necessarily want to post something here that will never see the light of day. Yes, I'll post brief "writing reports", as you put it, but most of my discussion/brainstorming happens privately with no more than one or two people - any more than that and my head spins.

Min says:
I've felt no particular draw to write "Smallville" (for a variety of reasons) even though I know several of the authors, but if I did, I'm not sure I'd be put off by the fact I'm coming in "late." I suppose it's because if I did decide to write in it, I'd be doing so because I had a story to tell, and that would be independent of other opinion. Again, that may have something to do with my own peculiarities as a writer.

That makes sense - if you have a story to tell and you had to write it. But you sound like an established, confident writer who could switch over and do it beautifully. Me, I don't necessarily have that confidence and what I read in blogs overwhelms me - and part of it is probably because I don't know the people. I found most of the "Smallville" blogs through jenn, whom I knew through Voyager, and the intensity of the fandom would be daunting to a newcomer like me who doesn't know anyone over there.

But then I really didn't know anyone when I started in Trek - but the niche pairing I wrote was very small anyway, so it wasn't hard to meet people then. But I think the culture between the two fandoms is so very different - it's hard to explain well, but I really do feel that there is a cultural divide between fandoms - that there are certain personalities that form the overall 'feel' of a fandom.

In Trek, it is possible to feel like you're writing in a vaccuum, that you're in complete isolation (as Lori's above comment demonstrates) and that maybe you'll find a few people you can hang out with and discuss fic and the show with - but for the most part, you know you're in this fandom mostly on your own. IME, my perceptions and feelings for the characters and the stories I wanted to write were completely unaffected by interactions with others. I developed my own feelings, my own ideas, and then came into fandom since it was ::gulp:: long enough ago that mailing lists didn't exists and newsgroups were the place to get your fanfic fix.

I think the blog/LJ culture - which is more predominant in other fandoms ("Smallville" being the first to come to mind) - has taken down some of those barriers. You can find an author you like, read her blog, find out what she thinks, and either agree or disagree with her statements. It might put pressure on new writers to fall into line behind certain writers in order to get the praise and recs, or it might make a fandom more attractive, etc. At any rate, the blog/LJ culture has allowed readers and writers to communicate more instaneously and more honestly, more directly with each other - which depending on POV, could be a really good thing or a really bad thing.

To me, that's scary - really, truly scary - to see so many people responding, commenting and writing. But again, that's the culture that Trek fostered - there is no one here to welcome you into the writing fold and you've basically have to be strong enough to make your own way. I'm not sure that's the case in "blog/LJ strong" fandoms where there's a constant line of communication open between writers and readers. It could very well be what scares me away is attractive to someone else.

Min said:
Anyway, what I've found the blog/LJ phenomenon doing is no so much prejudicing my ideas of a story, but my ideas of the writer . As is always the case, I may enjoy the stories of a particular person without actually LIKING the person in question much. And I've found through blogs that people I like are not always people who write stories I want to read. I may, BECAUSE I like them, try their stories after all. But the reverse is unfortunately true as well. There are some folks who I've discovered, after reading their blogs, I don't really think much of, and it does somewhat sour my inclination to read their stories, even if I had read them previously.

I completely agree with this statement. Some people, I feel more drawn to and I want to read their fics, but other times, I read their blogs/LJs and I think, "I don't want to read anything this person has written," even if I've been told X is an excellent, talented writer. There is something about the instant commenting culture that makes it possible to say too much - I think we do on occasion reveal a little too much and lately, I've been seeing that phenomena everywhere. Not to mention, it's so easy to respond to things or to carry them over into other blogs - it's hard to see where the original meaning began and where it ends.

I don't think it's any different than having an experience in "meeting" someone over email. One of the first people I "met" in email flamed me years ago when I was a newbie - that experience tinges every interaction I have with this person now, but unless someone else has had a similar experience with this person, this particular character trait is something that exists just between the two of us. I just think blogging/LJ might exacerbate a personality - bring things more into focus and more publicly. So what might have been contained in a private email or two is now out there for other people to see and comment on. And I wonder if that makes a difference.

For instance, there are certain authors in Trek that everyone adores because they are so wonderful and sweet - generally, they've never said anything in public that remotely resembles a negative opinion of any kind at any time. They're also not bloggers so if they have said anything snarky, they've said it privately to people they trust.

I think the diaries etc give people a freedom to say anything, not to mention, allows people to talk back as freely as they care to - and that's fine - but I do think there's a perception that's formed about a person and her writing based on those comments, either positive or negative.

I'm still torn on whether blogging is a good thing for fandom or not - because I do see the positives and the negatives. I like the interaction with other people, I like hearing what other people are working on, I love it when ::dancing:: erupts in my blog - just to name a few. It's just hard to put my finger on exactly what concerns me.

Late now. I'm going to have to think about this again.
Europe Pictures.
Started my Maquis outline today (lost the original one I had created for Lines in the Sand when Deja News went under, taking all of my notes etc with it (let that be a lesson to you - *never* keep outlines and information in a free email service). Anyway, so I've been compiling information from here and there and I think I finally have a coherent picture of what's going on. I also converted a ton of stardates to get a good idea of exactly where everything fits.

The storyline, that's mostly set now that I have the timeline. I talked to both Bjorn and Liz about this story last night - I figure I can call Bjorn anytime I get hung up on anything as he is practically a walking Trek encyclopedia - and poor Liz had to put up with me describing the plot in detail (but she gives it an 'okay'). So I'm really excited. I've got a bunch of things to get done today including checking out an apartment for an international student before she signs her lease - but I can't wait to get started now that all of the pieces have fallen together.

It feels *good* to be this excited about writing again!

Thursday, July 18, 2002

Just this once...

A little bit of meta. Sorry, kids, bear with me. It will be over soon.

But anyway, jenn said:

As LaT has stated, there really is no way to separate the diarist from the writer in most people's minds, and unfortunately, she's absolutely right. That's a point that never occurred to me, and now in retrospect, it seems very obvious. I've tainted my own work without being aware I was doing it, so short of changing names and making the separation actual, there is no possible way I can ever remove that taint. And even then, I'm not sure most people sorta wouldnt' catch on to the disappearance of one name and the beginning of another. *g*

There's probably more to this than I'm reading as it spans across several blogs, involves jennfic and I admit to being too time-starved to go and read all of the comments over the last few days, but I did think that jenn's comment was interesting - and worth mentioning here, mostly because I wonder if familiarity breeds contempt (and I don't mean this directed in any one direction - least of all jenn's, but only that she articulated something I'd been thinking about for quite a while).

Before blogs, there were writers - BNFs and everyone else - and you rarely communicated with each other. Maybe you got to rub shoulders with some of them on mailing lists, but there was always that clique of writers who maintained just enough distance to make you completely in awe of them. Or maybe you were a member of the clique and you created the distance. Whatever. But the point is, we didn't really get to know each other that well before blogs and LJs.

For instance, the Mod Squad members were Section 31 before the advent of blogs. The blogs opened up something new, one snark led to another and all of a sudden, we had a zen resort. I doubt zendom would exist today without blogs and the silliness of the Mod Squad in general - perpetuated through the blogs.

But at any rate, I read some blogs and I think, "Wow, this person is really cool and I like their take on such and such character." Or I'll read a ficlet and it'll be like, "More? Please?" (hint to Sara ::g::). At the same time, forgive me, there are blogs I hit once and I back away slowly, a victim of TMI. And I know that no matter how wonderful a writer is, I now have this forever TMI image in my head that will never, ever go away and I rarely go back because I'm honestly too scared.

And at the same time, I also think it's possible to tip one's hand too much when doing the meta-dance in one's blog. It's one of the reasons why for the most part I've stopped posting fic snippets or anything but the most general updates on fic here. I'm not necessarily sure that I want anyone but my betas to know what I'm thinking or where I'm going. I don't want to be held to one particular thing I said a long time ago.

For instance, I'm not a big fan of P/C fic - Lori and Rocky both know this (and now you guys do too ::g::), but I'm seriously musing a story idea for this pairing right now. And I don't want someone to come out and say, "You have no right to write this pairing because you don't even like it." Not that I think anyone can tell me what I can and cannot write - but the pressure is there. It's kind of like when you see grandiose retirement notices posted all over fandom and then three months later the writer is back New!Improved. But my point is - the blog is read by lots and lots of people and you don't even necessarily know who they are. And then the comments fly across the blog worlds so quickly, perceptions are formed based on what is said publicly and it's not necessarily true or false what eventually gets disseminated.

I do think the blog/LJ culture is a little like a huge game of Telephone.

And there's a little something of the diarist in the writer - in my case, the diarist is more like the real me, a little more bubbly than the writer who is constantly prodding the angst bunny for ideas. But there is an overlap once you start to dissect ideas, theories, canon, shows, etc. Perceptions are formed as you read other people's thoughts and it's not clear where your ideas begin, where the others' start. It's almost like there's a 'fandom norm' for certain things and everything else is just plain out there. And it's not clear who started the fandom norm in the first place, but it wouldn't be surprising to me if blogs/LJs had a lot to do with forming opinions on what is and isn't acceptable in fandom, not to mention, may actually recruit/scare people in/out of fandom. For instance, as a completely uninformed non-watcher of "Smallville" (in other words, I don't get WB or UPN), I will admit that the fandom scares me - there's a lot going on there and a lot that I don't understand even though I know Superman.

If the show showed up on my cable tomorrow, I'd be scared to even discuss the show here because it seems to me that opinions and attitudes have already been formed - that it might not be possible to say anything new or original at all (not to mention, it's my reason for not going to far away from Trek - learning a whole new set of canon and fanon terrifies me). It's all been discussed (or so I think - forgive me for the generalization).

And based on blogs, you can see who the defining personalities in a fandom are, and theoretically, if you wanted to fit in, you'd fall into line behind those opinions. And I'm not saying that people don't have their own opinions - it's just hard to go against mainstream when you're a new writer. Heck, even these days I find it very difficult to do something new, knowing how it will be received - but at least after 5 years in Trek, I've figured out just how much I can test the boundaries (and when I do, I know that at least I won't be laughed out of town) but a newbie to a fandom could just look at the general tone and feel overwhelmed by the amount of discourse going on there. I know I do - and I'm not even a member of some of these fandoms I run across in various blogs.

I have a point - I'm still fumbling for it. I think it's mostly that the blogs/LJs have more of an influence of fandom and fandom perceptions than we think they do and it can be either good or bad, depending on the reader/writer.

Wednesday, July 17, 2002

I'm one-ninth of the way through my stats career. Well, not really - that's not counting the four courses I've already been through. But I'm one-third through now through current course (Research Methods), have two more to go, and then I'll be officially done.

I've got that familiar ache in shoulders and back from being hunched over books and working out problems. I actually do enjoy working out problems - I get into a rhythm and before I knew it, I'd worked through an entire chapter in about two hours or so without paying attention to time; time really does fly when you're having a good time.

I was thinking about giving myself a break today from stats and doing some writing (though I do have one week's worth of material for marketing to read up on), but the muse has gone somewhere. I don't know where, but it's not here. Which is slightly scary. I have a theory about the why, I just don't know what to do about it.

If I'm really ambitious, I may start putting up the Europe pictures. At any rate, a sampling should be available on Sunday at the latest. But right now, a nap sounds really good.

And oh yes - the sun is teasing us. We've still got storm clouds and 100% humidity, but there is sun. Honest to God sun. I may have to bring the sun hat back out (someone was asking yesterday where it was). A good thing - maybe I can start putting things away in my closet again as I'm getting tired of tripping over things in the bedroom.

At any rate, I think I'm going to tackle the email backlog and switch those of you over to the other email address if I haven't switched you already. That's half the problem - the yahoo! email address is constantly full, so everything keeps getting shoved to the bottom of the list. So, that might be a goal.

Or I just might take a nap and celebrate being one-ninth of the way through stats.

Tuesday, July 16, 2002


New fic: Latitude A layover at Utopia Planetia brings back old memories and a chance to catch up with an old friend. Part of the "Glory Days" universe.

Monday, July 15, 2002

And oh yes. New fic. Sometime this week. Hopefully. I do have a stats exam on Wednesday. But I'm hoping to have something new by Friday. It'll either be "Interlude" - which is the short that comes after part I of "A Fugue in Blue Minor" - or "Latitude," which belongs to the Glory Days universe, or "The Absinthe Heart'", which is a Quark story. Unfortunately, my Kira story, "Sand and Water," needs a lot more work before I can post it. Ah well.
The apartment people came. I may have to eat my words because I honestly thought that it would be years before they showed up. But they came. The water is out of my closet, thanks to this water-sucking machine they have. They also told me I wasn't the only one flooded, so that was a good thing to know. They're also coming back tomorrow to repaint the bedroom and repair the damage to the bedroom walls and they redid the ceiling in the bathroom as well, to repair some damage there. All in all, very happy girl I am.

Who can make the sun shine?

Our neighbors to the south were kind enough to send a little more moisture this way. I'm completely overwhelmed by their generousity, but we've been already blessed. Completely and totally blessed over the last week, and I hereby, on behalf of the Hill Country, ask if there is anyone out there who would like a rain shower or two? An overflowing river? How about a lake?

Sunday, July 14, 2002

Humor me

If I wrote a phonebook, would you read it? And if you did, would you enjoy it? Would you FB? Would you analyze it? Would you rec it in your blog?

No, I'm not feeling a little insecure. Why do you ask?

As dictators go, you're kind of pathetic! Instead of military coup or systematic persecution to get power, you just happen to be the head of the only party in the UK that isn't totally worthless! While not very impressive it is none the less effective! You can do whatever the hell you like without any chance of getting voted out of office! People know that the only alternative would have them eating their children if they ever got back into power! However, you still think that you are as loved as you were when you were first elected into power… News flash for you: You're not!

What tin-pot dictator are you? Take the "What Dictator am I?" test at

New update at zendom. "Authors at Work: WiP Recs." Because these are fics you really ought to nag the authors to finish.

I've joined another mailing list. I need another mailing list like... but it's fun (thanks, Lori!) and possibly go no-mail on another list to compensate for the increased traffic. But let me stress, fun traffic.

My termination paperwork has arrived. I'm absolutely overwhelmed by the fine print. Blech. And COBRA - dear God, I might as well just surrender myself to the HMO system, and say, "Take it all, take my car, my computer, my television, my phone... really, just take it all. Just keep my teeth clean and my 2,000 parts working. I'll just sleep in the lobby or something." There is something to be said about national health plans (::looks around furtively for any MBAs who might be lurking and might get het up about the anti-capitalism sentiment - I am mostly a socialist, you know::). But I've started making a list of questions and options, so I think it'll be fine - no, I know it will be fine. At any rate, it's a good reason to start consolidating things into one place, and for that, I'm enormously grateful, because I would have kept putting it off.

Saturday, July 13, 2002

Bright, Shiny Objects. Because they recc'd me, so I'm returning the favor. Lots of good fics to read here. Yummy.
You are what you don't eat

I'm a broccoli! I'm introverted but always try to be more outgoing. I'm sort of dim on the outside but inside I'm really a good person and always trying to fit in. Even though a lot of people don't like me, they really do learn to love me!

Take the Vegetable Quiz by Krysten!

I agree with Lori; this is a dippy quiz. And oh, the semicolon reminds me of this rant in Merry's blog.

Got a care package from my friend Laura yesterday. It had fun stuff in it like glitter nailpolish, glitter lipgloss, a necklace, a pair of earrings, a funky card - in addition to the bumper sticker I had requested from her while she was making a recruiting trip over to our alma mater. So very cheered up am I - I'm looking forward to having glitter lips and glitter nails now that I no longer work for a 'conservatively dressed' company and do not have to stick to pink/red toes and red lipstick. See? There's a positive to every situation.

Friday, July 12, 2002

And the results are...

What's the first fandom you wrote fic for?


What's the most recent fandom that you've written fic for?

Hmmm... this is hard, because I've got "LA Law," DS9 and VOY going all at the same time. And none of them are finished currently. And the last finished fic I did was "Touch," a crossover between TNG and DS9.

What's the title of your first fanfic?

I'm going to go with "A Quiet Evening at Home." I can never really remember, but I think I finished "Aftermath" in the summer of '98, and I remember sending "A Quiet Evening at Home" to Ginomo under my pseudonym for hosting on her site - it's the only fic, I think, that was hosted on someone else's site exclusively, before I got around to creating my own.

Does it suck beyond the telling of it?

Not especially, but it's not really note-worthy either. It's just like any other story. I don't think it's memorable at all - rather dull, actually.

Is it slash or het?

Gen, but het.

What was your first 'ship?

Michael and Grace, "LA Law."

Or do you mean that I read/write fanfic for?

Worf/Dax - DS9.

What's your fave 'ship now?

It fluctuates. Liz just wrote a sweet little W/D piece which made me all happy the other day. And I always love P/T. So either of those, but if I had to pick, I'll go with P/T, just because there is so little of it these days and I want people to write more of it, dang it!

What 'ship makes your eyes bleed and your loins turn into monkey guts?

Jadzia/Julian. Blech.

What is your most common fic pairing?

Hard to say. Right now, it'd be a toss-up between W/D and P/T. But I'm encourageable - I'd think I'd pair almost anyone together at this point. Keeps things more interesting.

What pairing did you swear that you'd never write, but eventually did?

J/C. ::glares at Rocky::

What pairing do you swear you will never, ever write?

Neelix and Kes.

What's the wackiest fanfic situation you've put the characters in?

That would be Someone to Watch Over Me where Worf and Dax spend an evening on the holodeck while Vic sings. Just to imagine Worf in a tux ("Our Man Bashir," excepted) and dancing is truly... well, wacky. Not to mention, " When on Risa... for pure silliness - really, a checkerboard?

Then there are the two "Die, Seven, Die!" stories ::glares at Rocky:: - " The Final Straw" in which Seven met her demise at the hands of someone who will remember nameless and then the jello-wrestling situation in " The Fight".

How many times has magick solved/created the main problem/plot in your fics?

Just once. An O'Brien and Keiko story. " A Table for Q."

What pairing do you hate to admit to actually indulging in, against your better judgement?

Hmmm... I'm pretty open about my indulgences. I usually avoid anything I don't like. But when I'm looking for something new, I usually try to find some C/P or J/P.

Can you remember the first fanfic you ever read?

Not especially, as I started lurking at ASC back in '94, when there weren't a whole lot of people there and I had a tempermental newsreader (Tin, anyone?). But the stories that really convinced me to write fanfic were Ginomo's The Points of View Series, which at that time was the defining W/D fic out there.

How long have you been involved in internet fandom(s)?

As a fic writer, since the fall of 1997. As a lurker, as I said before, I hit ASC pretty early, but couldn't enjoy as much given the sad, sad state of the university-provided newsreader.

Ever written a cross over?


Nice Work and Touch. I suppose Table for Q and The Second Element could fit into the crossover category as well, given that the characters are both from DS9 and TNG.

Best crossover fic you've read?

Hmmm... Impress by Kelly. Of course, it's Kelly, so everything she writes is great. Seriously.

What pairing do you want to write, but don't think you could?

Sisko/Dax. Liz has been on my case for this pairing for years now, but I still haven't gotten a story in my head. Pairing, yes, it could make sense, given "Fascination," but I still haven't managed to make it through it.

Your favorite fic you've written?

100 Days, typos and all. I wrote this in a feverish rush in about a week. My arms were literally shaking as I wrote this, just because it insisted on being written. It was a story that just flowed, and to this day, has never been beta'd. It was also the first time I could clearly hear the VOY characters in my head and I could see and feel everything completely. It was definitely a rush and I've never quite had that feeling since.

Thursday, July 11, 2002

You know, that's what the zen resort needs. An old-fashioned porch, preferably with a swing and/or a rocking chair, and a poolboy to serve ice-cold lemonade.

And trees. Tall, shady trees. Birds, lots of them. And no ants or spiders. I'm not feeling kindly towards critters with more than four appendages at this moment. So no bugs.

I wish the podium idea, as proposed by the Inimitable Miss Barr, would work, but hmmm... we'd have to have a town square or something. And riot police. And that just about kills the image for me. Work with me, people.

Okay, the email situation is still dire. Like, I'm light years behind. I'm fully ready for a few people to kill me at this point. And I would fully deserve it. It's just that more email keeps coming... 100 emails at a shot? What's that all about? Blech.
I think the stats department here has a whole new racket - they've come up with a brand, spanking new way to teach stats so they can sell more text books. Humph.

Sara Says...

Bwahaha! Sara for making me laugh:

16. Would you rather vacation on Betazed, Risa, or the Klingon Homeworld?

Risa. With a checkerboard.


And BTW, I got to fix this in my author's notes, but I'd like to respectfully point out that that particular story was Rocky's fault, thank you very much.

I have no idea what a meme is (other than in French, where a circumflex over the e would translate the word into "same"). I see the word being used all of the time and I was hoping that context would help me get a clue, but alas... there it is. I really have no idea what it is.

Does this mean fandom's language is evolving quicker than I thought and leaving me behind?

In weird, strange news (the type Liz would definitely appreciate), I had this dream that fandom was a little village and all of the writers lived in whitewashed houses with picket fences and a few (not me) had dogs. The weather was always sunny, and everyone hung out on their front porches doing whatever it is fanfic people do when they aren't ficcing or participating in fandom. I know I know. It made more sense when I was asleep, that's for sure.

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

You know what they say, if you can't find the fic you want to read, you might as well write it yourself. Dang it. And I was feeling particularly lazy as well. I was so excited to find the The neXt Files Archive with stories devoted especially to post-"The Truth" but other than Dasha K's story, I haven't really found anything there that says, "Yes! I am the post-'The Truth' fic." So I'm hoping that in time, there will be something out there - and yes, the bunny is hopping madly. An opening scene has been imagined, so perhaps, I will do something with "The Truth," we'll see. It was so shippy, how could I possibly ignore it?

I had to give in to the "LA Law" muse. I've got a fic fragment. I don't know where it's going or if it's going to contradict canon once I see the movie, but I had to write it and if I can get up the energy to run it through spell-check (ha! and I call myself a writer!), I will break tradition and post it here. I think. I still have issues with posting fic fragments in blogs. So maybe not. But I feel bad about banishing the fic to its own little page. Decisions, decisions.

Venn diagrams are evil. No one should have to deal with venn diagrams. Venn diagrams and probability together are deadly. Nothing doing. I'm not entirely sure why I'm back in my fourth stats class at this point but there you have it. I now have four $100 statistics text books. This is nuts and I'm insane, but I'm already looking forward to part two of the course. Someone check my temperature already.
The error message I got when I tried to post to blogger: "The server went boom."

I'm still laughing.
Survey Says...

1. Name: Seema
2. Age: 26
3. Birthday: 01/15/76
4. Location: Sorry, kids, but trust me, it's nowhere exciting
5. Shoe size: 8

1. Do you know who Trent Reznor is? If so, do you have a big scary poster of him in your room?

Um, the name is familiar, but doesn't immediately come to mind who this is.

2. Name a hot celebrity who is from your state.

Does Willie Nelson count? If not, we'll go with Matthew McConghea (my apologies for not knowing how to spell his last name).

3. What is a hoosier?

Someone from somewhere in the Midwest? A football team?

4. Would you ever shave your head as a form of protest for a cause you really believed in?

Sure, if I really believed in the cause.

5. Do you feel that pop culture has a negative effect on pre-teens?

Yes and no. It depends on the icon. I think Britney Spears is a horrible role model, but Oprah would be a positive one. So, too vague a question.

6. Sprite or iced tea?

Iced tea

7. Have you ever eaten cheese curds?

If that's cottage cheese, yes, I've eaten it and love it.

8. Have you ever ordered a hamburger by saying "Burger Me"?

Um... no

9. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Vanilla. I'm boring that way. Occasionally, I like chocolate chips in my vanilla.

10. What is your favorite kind of berry?

Strawberries, chocolate dipped or not. I'm not picky.

11. Are you going to meet me in St. Louis? At the fair?

Depends who 'you' are. Can't commit to an unknown entity, sorry. I've been to St. Louis once, it was fun, I'd probably go again soon as I have a lovely little niece there whom I'm just dying to meet.

12. Have you ever been to Concordia College?


13. Is having your wedding on a beach in Hawaii where anyone can be a bridesmaid just as long as they show up in a dress crazy?

I think, at this point, a wedding in my life would be crazy. Location is incidental.

14. Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?

Quito. Definitely. The land of the eternal spring.

15. Is the grass greener on the other side?

No. The apartment complex across the street doesn't *have* any grass.

16. Would you rather vacation on Betazed, Risa, or the Klingon Homeworld?

Oh no contest here, Risa. After all the rain and now this heat, I'm all about climate-control.

17. Do you carry a purse? If so, please describe.

I have a few purses actually. My current, normal everyday purse is a one of those with the double-straps that you wear tucked under your arm, like a small or something. It's black leather, has two big compartments and one zipper one. My other purse that comes out is a wallet on a string made out of dark green material that was perfect for Europe. And then there is the Coach purse which has spent the last two years wrapped in tissue paper in my closet because I'm too afraid to carry it.

18. Describe your pajamas.

Right now, a blue (or purple or white) tank top on gray shorts or light green pants.

19. Have you ever worn your mouse ears?

Mouse ears?

20. Do you have a Star Trek uniform?

No, but I have a Sisko doll and a Deanna Troi action figure. Does that count?

21. What kind of jewelry do you wear?

A necklace of some kind (today it was a black Y-necklace with beads) and I have three rings - two on my right hand, one on my left. Occasionally, I have bracelets, about a dozen of them, on my left wrist. Earrings are painful for me these days, so I no longer wear them.

Tuesday, July 09, 2002

A review of Attack of the Clones..
Talked to Lori tonight. Cheered me up greatly. The migraine is nearly disipated and I was able to take a nap this afternoon for a couple hours to make up for last night's migraine/stress induced insomnia. Anyway, sometimes you just need someone to put things into perspective for you. Merci bien.
How to Not Write Bad Het.Alara's on target and there's nothing here I don't agree with. Should be framed and put next to every fic writer's computer. Seriously.
Things to Do

Because I need to make a list so I will actually do it. But here it is, in no particular order.

  • Get health insurance
  • Get dental insurance
  • Rollover the 401K
  • Get the mold problem in my apartment fixed
  • Get some medication for my migraine
  • Apply for a credit card
  • Pray for the stock market to rebound
  • Answer a gazillion emails
  • Buy textbooks
  • Buy parking pass and hope I don't get ticketed in the meanwhile
  • FB, FB, FB!
  • Edit, edit, edit
  • Spruce up the resume
  • Find a part-time job
  • Clean the apartment from top to bottom
  • Did I mention the headache? Get rid of that
  • Homework, reading, that kind of thing
  • Look for a fulltime job for next May
  • Pay bills

I'm blue Madonna, who are you? Madonna Quiz by Turi.
Netscape mail help

I'm trying to create message filters in Netscape mail, but for some reason, for my primary domain account, it won't allow me to do it.

I got to Edit -> Message Filters and then select the account. I then click on "new" to create the filter rule, but nothing happens. However, when I do the same thing with, the approriate dialog box pops up and allows me to make a rule.

Anyone have any ideas on what's going on?

Monday, July 08, 2002

Ode to Liz

So I told Liz today that she deserves to be publicly immortalized in the blog as a sweetie. She always knows the right things to say and tonight she said exactly the right thing. And it's not the first time she's been there for me.

She was 'there' when my cousin's wife suddenly passed away four years ago and I was brand new to Texas - lonely, scared and very, very sad. It was so strange to me that a person I had never met - whom I mostly just exchanged emails with about DS9 and upcoming fic - cared how I was doing during that first, long, hot summer. She, Florchi and a real life friend of mine from college, Sarah, got me through those first months - and I'm forever grateful for their help.

Liz and I have been through a lot together, I think. Good fic, bad fic (one joint collaboration - which neither of us likes), betas, and strange IMs (and I mean strange). Sometimes, strange drawings showed up in my inbox or in my snail mail - we have the same warped sense of humor, which makes these drawings pretty special as they come out something very strange. Not to mention, for a long time, she was the only person reading my fic and encouraging me to hang in there. Even when I came close to retiring, somehow Liz managed to talk me out of it. Not to mention, she is the original "dance" queen as well - trust me, she has a dance for every occasion.

So, yeah, sappy blog entry, but I'm in a sappy mood. Plus, something has to be said for someone who has put up with your writing for over four years.
Pictures! from John & Aimee's wedding.

Okay, so they're late, like a year late, but hey, better than never, right? I found them on a roll of film that I finished in Europe. Europe photos to follow in a few weeks.
Sara had the link to the J/C Purity Test. My score below:

You answered "yes" to 26 of 100 questions, with a total value of 37 points out of 179, making you 79.3% j/c pure (20.7% j/c corrupt).
According to the scoring guide, your j/c experience level is: Newbie: You really need to read more fanfic, join some lists and have some fun! Try watching resolutions or coda. Or else someone might accuse you of being a C/7 fan.

Sunday, July 07, 2002

In the Kitchen with Seema

So today, I made pancakes. Actually, I was going to make breakfast tacos, but then realized my tortillas were all, well, broken. And it would mean going to the grocery store to get non-broken tortillas. So I skipped the breakfast tacos and went for pancakes (after frying the potatoes that were initially boiled for the tacos - yes, I can see you all just shaking your heads with dismay now). The pancakes had their own problems. No milk. No eggs except for egg beaters. All I could think of was that little commercial where the kids served their parents breakfast in bed and it's pancakes. Later the mother leans over to whisper in the father's ear, "But we don't have the stuff to make pancakes." So that was the situation.

So I put the egg beaters in. Put 3/4ths cup of water in instead of milk and I had a watery mess that didn't look like pancake batter to me. So just for fun, I added a cup of flour to the bisquick, hoping that would improve things. It did - a little, but not by much. Anyway, the pancakes came out okay. Not great, a little flat, but Vermont maple syrup made them better. My own consolation is that they were edible and they weren't burned. Not burning things is a good thing.

Back to packing.
I should be sleeping, but I'm still on California time, and so I found this by Teague on constructive crit, because I'm endlessly fascinated by the behavior crit elicits from people. There ought to be an article. I'm still contemplating Teague's entry, but I think I agree with 90 percent. It's the 10 percent I'm having trouble formulating.

I had a post here about various things happening in the US and decided to delete it. Some things are best not discussed in blogs or livejournals. I would have loved to have a civilized debate about certain issues (so unrelated to fandom) but unfortunately, I'm not sure that that would have been the end result. And so, this is Seema's fluffy blog. No substance to see here. If I had a thicker skin and a better way with words, I'd attempt it. But this is my diary and I'm not necessarily sure that I feel like verbally sparring with people over certain issues on what I consider 'home territory.' If any of you are interested in talking about vouchers or the Pledge of Allegiance, feel free to email me.

Saturday, July 06, 2002

My apologies. The sad, sad, sad truth is that I owe half the world FB and emails. That's what 9 weeks of traveling and angst will do to you. So my apologies to those of you whom I owe FB to and much apologies to those of you whom I owe emails to. I'm moving on Monday, so I can't promise that I'll get to any of these things before Monday, but you never know. After all, I am an addict.
Home Sweet Home

My county has officially been declared a disaster zone. Which makes us eligible for federal funding or something. On the news, I saw a roof float by with chimney still attached. The LCRA is opening the fourth and final gates on the dam sometime tonight - as I don't live too far from the dam, this does make me slightly nervous, but I'm also cheered by the prospect that the rain may be over (and hopefully before Monday, when I hit the road again) and some of the rivers, though not the two near me, are receeding.

So while I was in California... big news. Apparently Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton split. Let me just ask: is there anyone out there who is surprised by this news?

It also looks like Julia Roberts married her camera man. I'd like to point out to the cynics amongst us that Benjamin Bratt, Julia's former flame of four years, tied the knot a few months ago with someone I've never heard of before. Julia's marriage to Lyle Lovett lasted 21 months. So, how long do you think this one will last?