The Attack of William James

Declaration of War
Response to Declaration of War
Blog Wars I
Blog Wars II
Blog Wars III
Blog Wars IV
Blog Wars V
Blog Wars VI
Declaration of Neutrality
The War in Liz's Blogback and Jemima's Dare to Conscript Her
The Son of Blog War!




****
The atmosphere in the shuttle was decidedly tense as Chakotay took his seat at the helm. For a moment, the blonde woman contemplated the situation before saying, "I think it would be best if I piloted the shuttle."

Chakotay twisted around in his seat. "Afraid of not being in control, Seven?"

Seven of Nine tipped her head slightly to the side. "No. Statistics show that your piloting skills show much to be desired. For instance, the average crash statistic on Voyager is 1.4 per month. Your statistic is 4.6 per month. This leads me to believe that you are an unsafe pilot."

Chakotay shook his head. "Seven, I can get us to DS9 in one piece."

"I believe that Lieutenant Torres was upset with you on your last away mission," Seven said. "I believe she used several Klingon epitaphs as well as a reference to using your tongue to mop up Engineering. Which, I believe, is a highly inefficient manner of cleansing an area as large as Engineering, but I do not think she was joking. If there is one thing I have learned in my four years on Voyager, it is that Lieutenant Torres is always serious."

Chakotay got up from his seat. "Trust me, Seven, you've learned more than the fact B'Elanna lacks a sense of humor when it comes to Engineering. Do you want me to make a list?"

Seven took the seat at the helm. "No, Commander. It will be a more prudent use of your time to update me on the current situation. The dispute between Lori and Seema has taken on a new angle since our last meeting with Captain Janeway."

"That is true." Chakotay shifted in his new seat. He couldn't believe that Janeway had assigned him to an away mission with Seven. Just the two of them and it was a darn long way to DS9. Forty thousand light years away, he thought dismally. Why couldn't the Captain have assigned someone else? Even Paris, with his annoying prattle, would have been preferable company. "Apparently, there is a new party to the conflict. Jemima. Our Lady of AU."

"Impressive title." Seven's fingers flew over the console and a few minutes later, the shuttle arched in graceful lines in a loop around Voyager before setting off in the general direction of DS9. "What occurred to provoke this new development?"

"I believe it was the careless quoting of William James," Chakotay said carefully. "A psychologist from the late 1800s who lifted orthodox psychology from its constraints and applied it as a discipline to people."

Seven arched an eyebrow as she turned to look at Chakotay. "If I am not mistaken, is not psychology the study of mind? Why would it not be applied to people? It seems this William James was a practical man."

"He also believed that ideas were meaningless, if there were no consequences."

"I can see why he appeals to you." Seven tapped a few keys. "Your behavior often yields no consequences, yet, I am constantly punished for mine." She frowned. "I believe we will arrive at Deep Space Nine in twenty minutes."

"Twenty minutes?" Chakotay jumped out his chair. "That's ridiculous, not possible at all. We were at least forty thousand light years out."

"I believe we are experiencing something known as deux ex machina," Seven said thoughtfully. Chakotay leaned over her shoulder to check her work and he had to admit that there were no flaws with Seven's work. What a surprise, Chakotay thought petulantly. Everything Seven did was annoyingly precise and accurate.

"Deux ex machina?" Chakotay asked, amused, as he retreated to his seat. "Have you been studying Greek literature as well?"

"I have no need to study Greek literature. I am Borg. I assimilated it."

"Ah." Chakotay sighed. "How silly of me. I keep forgetting how clever and perfect you are. And now that I realize that, I think I'm falling madly in love with you. Shall I sing? There is a song which perfectly expresses my emotion at this moment."

"I prefer that you did not. Vocalistically, your range is average," Seven said. "And I do not think this is the approriate time to indulge in singing. However, at another time, I will consider seranading you with 'You Are My Sunshine,' as my vocal ability is above average in all respects and you will find the experience quite enjoyable."

"I will be waiting eagerly for that moment," Chakotay said with a deep, long look at Seven. He didn't know what had come over him in these last few minutes. Until now, Kathryn Janeway had been the love of his life, and he never even eaten a ham sandwich - wait, he was a vegetarian, or was he? - with Seven, yet he was professing undying devotion. He idly wondered if perhaps they had been caught in some kind of anomoly, where perhaps William James' philosophy of "ideas without consequences being meaningless" prevailed. But all of this ruminating - which Chakotay was uncommonly good at - was doing no good at this time.

"I believe your sudden declaration of love for me is another example of deux ex machina," Seven said. "In Greek literature, it is common for the author to summon a God from the heavens to fix the conflict in a situation in order to confirm a happy ending."

Chakotay was greatly relieved. Thank the spirits, he thought. So perhaps there was a method to the madness. Seven twisted in her seat.

"Your discussion on William James is fascinating," she said. "Perhaps, it will be a more useful way of solving this particular conflict."

Chakotay nodded as he saw the hulking size of Deep Space Nine approaching in the viewscreen.

"Yes," Chakotay said fervently. He hoped to use this opportunity to quote his favorite psychologist endlessly. Maybe then, he thought, he would show the universe in general his depth as a human being and prove to Seven - and everyone else - that yes, he was truly an interesting individual.