Writing pet peeve

There are two lines of dialogue that I absolutely cannot stand. They are (drumroll): "I have something to tell you" and "We need to talk." No good comes after those lines of dialogue are uttered, and more likely than not, it's something majorly dramatic, and usually concerning a surprise bundle of joy.

There's nothing inherently wrong with the dialogue itself, but rather that it makes for a clunky set-up. It removes the subtlety from the situation and puts the anvil in motion, broadcasting, "Reader! Pay attention! Something important is about to happen! The plot is going to move forward!" It's moving plot forward through dialogue, rather than the actions and feelings that result from said dialogue.

I'm a big fan of characters talking and discussing their issues, but do they really need to announce that this is what they're going to do? Can't they just sit down and do it? There are ways of accomplishing the same thing without being as awkward and anvil-like. Conversations, in the real world, just happen. They are spontaneous, and nine times out of ten, we're not thinking about the words that come out of our mouths before they're out there. And we don't always give speeches about Issues (tm), and more times than not, we tip-toe around the thing that's going to cause us pain.

Written dialogue should reflect that same reality. I like Hemingway's sparse style of dialogue, where more is said between the lines than what the characters say, but that's Hemingway. The trick is to find the balance between broadcasting the plot intention through dialogue and coming up with realistic and intelligent dialogue that keeps the reader guessing.

When I figure out how to do it, I'll let you know.

Yum, yum

Last weekend, I hosted a brunch at my place and this was the menu: spinach salad with cucumbers, tomatoes and olives; rice salad with chick peas and lemon dressing; red onion and goat cheese stuffed pastries; and for dessert, yogurt parfaits.

The yogurt parfaits were a big hit, and they're incredibly simple to make, low in fat, and perfect for the hot summer months ahead. It's best to make these at least 4-8 hours ahead of when you'll need them, so the flavors blend nicely. And for presentation's sake, I used wine glasses so the different layers could be seen easier.

Yogurt parfaits (serves 4)

1 package frozen fruit -- any variety
1 container vanilla yogurt

Spoon 1 tablespoon of yogurt into wine glass. Spoon 1 tablespoon fruit on top of yogurt. Continue to layer until wine glass is full. Seal with Saran wrap and refrigerate.

Notes:

Don't thaw the fruit out before spooning into the parfait. The fruit will melt in the fridge and the juices will mix in with the yogurt. No additional sweetner is required.

I used two different types of frozen fruit -- mixed berries and then a mix of strawberries, papaya and mango -- and both worked equally well. It really depends on personal taste.

I'm not a big fan of low-fat foods in general, but in this case, I used non-fat yogurt, and it didn't taste as if something were missing.

Random Thoughts

I reached the boiling point of frustration this week. The 5 Ws, including the why, aren't particularly important, only that I got to that point again after having spent the last 6 to 9 months trying *so* hard to be positive, optimistic, and just generally having a good time.

But now, I have a bottle of red nailpolish, and that always does a girl's toes good. I mean, it's strappy sandal time of the year, and my feet are large, clunky, and then they have these long, long toes, with uneven nails. Gross, gross, gross. But somehow, a coat of red nailpolish makes the foot look less foreign, and more like something you'd actually want associated with the rest of your body.

I want to talk about regret and envy. At some point I also want to talk about Kaavya and the plagarism scandal. I've also been thinking about what happens when someone whom you've known for a good chunk of your life, a decade, walks out of it, and then what do you do with those emotions, those feelings, that emptiness. There are books I'm reading, movies I'm watching, and music I'm listening to. I've stopped pointing out the irony of Republicans decrying capitalism when it comes to gas prices, and I was proud at myself for restraining myself when someone said the $100 rebate was a great idea.

There's paper everywhere in my apartment once again. It covers all the surfaces, and even though I try to throw it out immediately, somehow it takes on a life of its own. It's like the paper-made blob. At work, it's the same thing -- paper, paper, paper. I don't think the paper-free world is possible. I think we like our pulp products too much, that we like the comfort and immediacy and the portability of it. Plus, you can write on paper, highlight your words, scribble across the bottom. It's comforting, visible proof that you've taken action of some kind.

One thing you might not know about me, all you readers who don't know me in RL: I write upside down almost. Yes, indeed I do. I'm left-handed, I write upside down, and I drink out of a left-handed mug.

SoS

ABC is pulling "Commander in Chief" from the airwaves. Ordinarily, I'd just shrug it off and say, "There goes another show I like to watch." See, I'm awful at picking shows when they debut. Nearly every show I start off watching from episode 1 gets cancelled. And I was convinced at the beginning "CiC" was going to be one of those shows, except that it had great ratings. I was relieved. The curse had been broken! But alas, not so.

Anyway, if you feel so inclined, you can write to ABC in support of the show over here (text of letter below). It's the first time I've ever written into a network about a show before, but I believe so strongly in the concept of the show, in the *idea* that a woman can be president, that I had to say something. It's not so much that I adore the show for the usual qualities that make me love a show -- writing, acting, scripting -- but for what it represents.

Here's the sample letter that's being passed around (and I'm ashamed to say I just copied verbatim, but I had nothing more or less to say than what was written here):

ABC,

Please keep Commander in Chief on the air. I just read online that the show was being pulled for the rest of May. It has had a rough time because it's been moved around so often and put on extended hiatus. I know it's been hard to maintain steady ratings, but that is no reason to give up on the show. It provides a great message for young girls (and boys) and shows that this scenario is possible. Geena Davis shows that women in strong roles can succeed. I hope to see a second season.

Serenity now

Tuesday is yoga day and the new yoga instructor is pretty amusing; she has different ways of making us laugh and forget that we're contorting our bodies in weird ways. Today, for instance, she said, "Here's a question for you. Can you touch your nose to your knee? If you can't, the answer is no."

Along the same lines, when we were working on the pigeon pose, our yoga instructor said, "Extra credit if you can get your head to touch your foot."

And somewhere from the back of the room, amidst all the groaning, sighing and contorting, a voice piped up: "It's not worth it."

Pain at the pump

Gasoline prices are upward and onward, which means everyone in D.C. -- including the President, who really should know better as he's an oilman -- is running for cover, calling for investigations and rattling sabres. The truth is, there's nothing anyone can really do to bring down prices in the near future. That's the beauty of capitalism and the open market; trader A has a barrel he's offering for $70, and trader B is willing to pay $70. Voila, it's done.

Of course that's a simplistic explanation. There's a lot that goes into the price of crude, including the 'fear factor' or 'risk premium', the fact that we just use, use, use, and that oil is a lot harder to get out of the ground today than it was yesterday. This is also the summer driving season, when everyone jumps into their SUV and drives across the country. Demand goes up, supply goes down, and prices go up. It's the way of capitalism and as long as there are buyers, the marketplace will act accordingly.

Related linkage:

I smell gas: why high prices make politicians stupid

Going a short way to make a point.

The more you know

When putting a fraud alert on your credit report, you only have to call one of the three major credit reporting bureaus. If your alert is successful at the first one, they will notify the other two. And then send you complimentary copies of your credit report from all three agencies.

This is what I learned this week.

And amazingly, for me, the panic level is extremely low. Like maybe a green on the Homeland Security scale?

Linkage

One of these days, when life isn't so crazy and doesn't involve so much in the way of planes, I'll update with real content, I swear, I promise, I will. But in the meantime, other places to go, to read, to enjoy.

Why I Shut Down My Blog -- the flip-side of blogging, but not what you might think.

The Wait for Baby Brangelina (note from me: $5 million? $5 MILLION?).

Saturday

Wow, it's been a long time since I updated. I'm breaking the Blogger's Cardinal Rule: Thou Must Bloggeth Every Day. Actually, that might be the second cardinal rule; the first one would involve blogging multiple times a day -- something I haven't also done in a really long time.

I've been offline because of travel for the last few days, but as far as I know, there are no more trips in my near future. Which is a good thing, because my backpack, laptop bag, and suitcase have taken up semi-permanent residence on my living room floor. It's like take one set of clothes out, replace another, refresh toilet bag, and whoosh, off I go again.

*

I've updated the links bar on my blog; my RL friend, Sarah, has joined the blogging ranks over here. I've taken off a few dead links and blogs I don't read anymore.

Herbalife

Today, when coming back from my uncle's place, I stopped at the gas station. In front of me was a mini van, steel blue, and with Mexican license plates. But what really caught my attention was the large green bumper stickers on the rear-end and passenger side doors of the car. The lettering, in silver, read "Herbalife." It amused me, and I wondered if this guy and his family (wife, two kids) were one of the Herbalife success stories or had they just gotten involved in the "work from home" business recently and in a fit of enthusiasm, papered their Windstar with bumper stickers proclaiming their dubious product to the rest of the world?

Seeing this van also reminded me of this investigative report on work from home scams.

Whatever the case is, hope it's working out for this particular family, because they did look sweet.

Uncle Sam taketh

I'm e-filing this year, as I did last year, but I'm not in the majority of Americans who are getting a huge tax refund. I ::gulp:: owe money. The crazy thing is, I'm so used to getting refunds, that when I did my taxes on Sunday, I assumed I was getting money back. Somehow that "You owe" turned into "You're getting". Easy come, easy go, right? I'm just glad that I'm anal-retentive enough to wait a few days to double-check my return, otherwise I'd probably be blogging at you from prison.

Give and take

I'm feeling very procrastinatory lately, and not much is getting done. No, let me correct that. A *lot* is getting done, but there are also a lot of things I'm letting slide. The laundry room, for instance, filled with laundry. I look at it every single day and think, "I should do something about that," and yet I don't. Somehow, clean clothes keep appearing, miraculously, and I put off the laundry for yet another day.

The dishes are the same way. They multiply like no one's business, both dirty and clean. I feel like every time I empty the sink, voila, there are more dishes. WHERE DID THEY COME FROM? My shoes are breeding too. I'm the rare woman who doesn't collect shoes, and yet, I have shoes everywhere. My closet also keeps giving -- I keep discovering clothes I didn't know I had, didn't know still fit, didn't know looked cute on me. It's amazing. I have the magical closet.

Life has been really busy lately. I haven't meant to neglect this blog, but that's way it goes sometimes. I've been working later hours than usual, have been traveling A LOT for both personal and work, and somehow, there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done. I did try going to bed an hour later yesterday -- around 11:15 -- but the morning hurt. Eight hours minimum of sleep is important -- I need close to 9 to feel human -- and so the dishes keep piling up, the laundry baskets are overflowing, but I am well-rested.

Sooo out of it

So I was scanning the headlines on Yahoo! new today, and I saw this one: Bow Wow and Ciara split, and I kept thinking, "Who are these people? Why do I care?" And because I so didn't care, I clicked on the link and discovered the Ciara is "the First Lady of Crunk & B". CRUNK AND B? What is that?

Sooo out of it.

Gator tales

So I survived my kayaking through the bayous of Sweat Sock City yesterday, and there were gators, alligator gar fish, egrets, blue herons and even a bald eagle. We paddled for about 4-5 hours, covering about 5 miles on the bayou. It was very serene, very calm, and the day was perfect -- no clouds, deep blue sky, temperatures in the 60s -- with the exception of the really strong winds. I was rather pathetic for my first hour, battling against both the wind, and the fact we were headed upstream. While I did eventually figure out how to control my kayak, I did plow into other kayaks regularly, and on more than a few occasions, bumped into the bank, and once, had to duck because I couldn't avoid a low-hanging tree branch quick enough.

I apologize for not having any pictures to share with you; I think the batteries in my digital camera are dead (I hope that is in fact the problem).

I have a couple of funny stories though. The first time I saw an alligator gar fish, I literally thought it was the Loch Ness monster. Yes, yes, I know, that's Scotland, and this is not, but the thing was maybe 6 or 7 feet long, and did a little dolphin-like surface bob, and so I just saw the hunched length of its scaly back. At first I thought it was an alligator, but the guide said no, that an alligator wouldn't have moved that nimbly and would have stayed on the surface longer. We saw the alligator gars on and off throughout the day, always with the splash of white water. One time, the thing actually surfaced beneath my kayak (after banging into another kayak) and I yelped. Luckily, our kayaks were very stable and the surfacing only caused the boat to rock a little bit.

The second story is a bit more freaky. We'd not see much of the alligators during the day because it was a rather cool morning, and the bayou waters were warm; we did briefly see one alligator surface and we kept our distance for a few minutes and then it went back below the water. Two women in a tandem kayak told us that they'd seen a 12-foot 'gator a little bit ahead of where we'd turned around, and so we were kind of bummed that we didn't see it. As we were paddling back downstream, the wind suddenly picked up, as did the current, and two of us were head of the guide and another kayaker. Our guide called out to say he'd found an alligator sitting on the shore, and the two of us should turn around and come see it.

So, me with my mad kayaking skillz, turned my kayak around with some difficulties and paddled back up to where our guide was. From the distance, I could tell it was a baby alligator, which is a lot less scary than a 12-foot 'gator, but face it, it still have teeth. As I was paddling, the wind and current were blowing me closer to the bank, and I tried and tried to turn the kayak away from the shore, but to no avail. As I drifted closer, the baby 'gator slipped into the water, and seconds later, I crashed into the bank. And as I looked for a place to stick my paddle to push back into the water, I saw a pair of eyes staring at me. And then another pair. And then another pair. I yelped again. Louder, btw, than the gar fish yelp. I had just crashed into a nest of baby alligators.

"What should I do?" I asked the guide.

"Paddle!"

And so I stuck my paddle into the water and rowed furiously away. Because we all know where there are babies, there are mommas. The guide and another person in our group drifted a little closer to the nest and checked it out and confirmed that there were indeed three baby gators sitting there and we figured that the one we'd seen on the shore was going to join its siblings.

Back at the picnic site, we joked about the nest of 'gators, how we were going to blow it up into a fish tale, that by Wednesday, it'd be a nest of 12-foot gators swarming around my kayak. So I thought it was best to tell the story NOW, as accurately as possible. By Wednesday, surely I'll be more heroic than having to be told to paddle away. Maybe by Wednesday, I'll not only have stumbled up on a nest of 12-foot gators, I'll have wrestled them into submission and I'll claim dead batteries as the reason for no photographic evidence.

How does that go again?

This weekend, I'm going to try kayaking for the first time. I've canoed before, but never kayaked, so I figured before the sun gets too hot and high in the sky, I'd give this a try. Most outdoor activities usually come to a grinding halt sometime in May or June. This kayak outing is at a nearby bayou -- fancy name for swamp -- and apparently, there are alligators. I voiced my concern at the pre-trip meeting and the guide looks at me quite seriously and says, "These are tame alligators."

The Office

I love the comedy show, "The Office." I know a lot of people who are purists think the British version is quite superior (and it's actually airing on PBS these days, though I have't caught an ep yet). Anyway, I love "The Office" because it reminds me of the craziness when I worked at Very Big Publishing Company. It's incredibly over-the-top, but the thing is, it's not far from the truth. Anyway, the cast pulled an early April's Fool joke on Thursday with some interesting versions of "The More You KNow" spots. I saw the one with Ryan where he said "There's nothing wrong with being 5'9". That's average." You can see all of the PSAs over here.

Cents sense

I like a good deal and I like to save money where I can when it doesn't mean compromising on lifestyle. My latest way of saving money is using the library as my personal video store. I usually check out books or buy them at Half-Price Books if at all, but DVDs, I was kind of at the mercy of Blockbuster or another such place. And I don't watch enough movies during a month to go the Netflix route.

I'd always used the library to check out classic movies, but then I discovered our library here stocks the latest releases as well; if it's at Blockbuster, it's probably at our library. This weekend I watched "Bewitched" (cute, funny, and family-friendly) and "The Upside of Anger" (skip it) -- both from the library. I've got about half a dozen DVDs on request at the library currently, including "Crash", "Must Love Dogs", and "Under the Tuscan Sun."

The only drawback to this system is I never know which movie I'll get and how long I have to wait to get it. I've been waiting for "Crash" for a couple of months now, and it took a few weeks to get both "Bewitched" and "The Upside of Anger". But the plus side includes being able to search online from the comfort of my own PC for the new arrivals, having them delivered (when available) to the branch most convenient to me, and then having 10 days to pick up them up once they arrive and I can keep them for two whole weeks. The latter is the best part of the deal for me because I'm notoriously slow for watching anything and there have been times when I've checked out DVDs ("Ms. Congeniality 2", "Master and Commander", and "21 Grams") and returned them, unwatched.

Of course, this probably isn't a good system for people who watch a couple of movies every weekend, but if you're looking for a way to save a few bucks and get away from the agony of Blockbuster, this might be one solution for you. It also helps, btw, to have multiple items on reserve, that way you can increase the odds of having a DVD available for the weekend (and of course, also with the assumption that most city libraries are as up-to-date as Sweat Sock City's library system).

Two to tango

The hardest part of relationships -- platonic or romantic -- is when you realize the other person doesn't want to be around you as much as you want to be around them. Or that they don't hold you in the same regard as other people, and no matter how much you try, that will never change. And of course, the more you try, the more desperate the behavior becomes, and the harder it is to want to be around you.

Also, excuses rarely excuse bad behavior. We all do stupid things, but I think it's how a person reacts and owns up to it is very telling. You can forgive behavior on the basis of excuses only so many times before it gets old. There's a point of no return, as much as I wish there wasn't. I'm a big fan of second chances, I'm a proponent that people can reform, but how long do you wait? How many second chances do you give? Three? Four? Ten?

At some point, you have to look at a friendship/relationship and say, "This isn't working." It doesn't even have to be logical or emotional, it just is. If I don't want to invest the time and energy into a person because I get nothing out of the relationship, then it's time to move on. It's give and take, even though it sounds awfully selfish and mercernary to say so.

On the same token, if someone doesn't seem to want to spend time with you, doesn't make any effort to contact you, that's a pretty big hint to also move on. Life's too short to waste on people who may or may not have an attachment to you.

I've felt both sides of the coin in the last few weeks, and no matter which side you're on, it still pretty much sucks.

Neglect

I didn't actually mean to ignore the blog these past few days. It just kind of happened. Also, the other day I came in to update and blogger was doing maintenance and I was too lazy to wait for them to finish.

Nothing much has happened that I can talk about. RL is finally settling down after being on a whirlwind for the last two weeks. I had a cold and laryngitis, which made me a most scintillating conversationalist. My office moved, and so last week was also a comedy in errors of where to park, where to sit, where to unpack everything -- y'know, kind of trauma you experience on the first day of school at a new building, but at least all your friends get to come with you.

I angsted about relationships of various kinds and made a decision to rip the band-aid off the bullet-hole (see previous post). The last one was really hard for me, because it's completely against my grain, but when you spend more energy trying to figure out how to deal with someone compared to what you get back -- well, maybe it's time to just say good-bye (and most of my friends were advising me to just skip the good-bye, but I couldn't help but get the last word in -- forgive me).

I'll surely angst about my decision to cut this person off cold turkey some more. RL friends, you may want to stay away from your phones, IMs and email for the weekend :-)

Guilty as charged

Really, my new year's resolution should be to stop believing automatically that everything that happens is my fault. I'm so easily suckered -- offer me a guilt trip, and I'll buy a first-class one way ticket on the Concorde. It's only after I landed (and only after apologizing profusely) that I realize that most of the time, 100 percent of what went wrong wasn't because of me and sometimes, even 50 percent of what went wrong isn't my fault. But by then, the apology is out there, the other person feels good, and I'm sitting here feeling like a) maybe they were right in the first place and ohmygodhowcanImakeitright or b) seething because I'm accepting the blame for everything.

My kneejerk reaction is always to apologize, regardless of the situation. I think about it later in obsessive-compulsive detail, discussing with anyone and everyone around me. I magnify my own behaviors to a point where suddenly I can do no right, and obviously, everything I've ever done has been hurtful. Because seriously, the last thing I want to do is treat someone badly and the moment it's insinuated that I have, I immediately believe that I have done so -- whether it's true or not. As a result, I apologize a lot. And I'm kind of getting tired of it, especially as I view a recent situation in retrospect and realize the only thing I truly failed at was living up to unrealistic expectations that I never knew I had to meet in the first place.

Loner

I'm not sure I'd describe myself as a loner, but I definitely don't seem to need to stay as in touch with people as some other people might. When I first moved to Red State, I did everything I could to keep in touch with people I left behind -- snail mail, emails, phone calls, IMs -- and after a while, despite my efforts, those interactions started to dwindle. It's just a fact of life -- when you don't see someone regularly, when you're working, starting a family, etc., you get busy and your priorities change. It's not that you don't care, it's just that there isn't time enough in the day to keep track of everything you want to do.

The people I talk to most on a weekly basis are my mother, Florida Girl and Rocky. My brother and V would round out the top five. Of those five, the only ones I talk to on the phone more than once a week are my mother and Florida Girl. I IM and email Rocky regularly, email my brother a few times a week, and the same goes for V (though I usually do talk to V on the phone at least once a week if we don't have a dinner or coffee planned). Other than that, I'm pretty fine with dealing with people on a semi-regular basis and it takes a while before I realize, "Oh, wait, I haven't talked to so-and-so in a while." Or I'll put off answering an email because I got home late, and I'm running around trying to get stuff done and before I know it, weeks have gone by and the email is still in my inbox unanswered.

I tend to be wary as well, and don't move quickly to incorporate people into my life.
And even once someone is in my life, my attachment to that person isn't as strong as it would be to say my mother and brother (for obvious reasons) and Florida Girl (my best friend since college) and Rocky -- my partner-in-crime. The strength of these relationships have developed over time, spanning many years (I think I've known Rocky for more than five years now, and V and I became friends in grad school -- which is an accelerating process).

I'm really leading up to a question, I guess, of some sort. How often is normal to talk to people if you're friends? In general, I don't talk to the vast majority of my friends more than a couple times a month (granted many live out of state, but then again, Florida Girl and I can speak as often as 5 or 6 times a day, depending on Stuff (tm)). I recently saw a friend of mine who lives here in town for the first time in six months; we'd probably exchanged maybe three phone calls in that entire period and that was fine. If I didn't hear from a friend for a while, and assuming I knew everything was okay, I probably wouldn't think too much of it. But I think that's where I diverge -- does friendship mean constant, prompt communications? I'm truly baffled, so if anyone has any insight into this, I'd love to hear it.

TV girl

I don't think it's a secret to anyone who reads this blog that I like television. I don't have a show for every day of the week, and I only have a few that are Must See Compelling Obsessive watching; the rest, eh -- if I'm home, I'll watch it, otherwise I'll maybe think about taping it if I'm out. It's the obssessive shows that get me every time -- currently, it's "Grey's Anatomy". Last year, it was "Without a Trace" and before that it was "JAG". Thank God I only have time (and discipline) to obssess about one show a year.

I tend to take shows as they're given to me. I believe that the writers have a master plan, that they've created these characters with some goal in mind for their development, and that every plotline will be resolved. Some of you call me naiive, yes, but this is how I approach television. The show is a gift, and the writers can do with what they will. After all, the scenario and the characters belong to them and not to me; I cannot possibly even think to dictate to the writers what they should or should not do.

It's for that reason I'm often both awed and shocked when I visit fan sites and there are the fans of the show, who love the show, claiming they'll jump ship if their two favorite characters aren't going to be put together. I won't lie and say I'm happy with everything that happens on a show, but there's also the reality that television needs suspense and drama, and that unresolved romantic tension is the best way to keep viewers coming back.

I admit to watching because I like characters, but character only takes you so far. The premise, the acting, the writing, the continuity -- all of those are elements that I consider important in keeping a television show viable. Samantha and Martin may have pulled me into "Without a Trace", but I keep watching even now when they aren't together. Samantha and Martin might have been the catalyst, but they aren't the sole reason I watch.

So I always find it amusing when viewers threaten the writers/producers of a show (or heck, an author, like JK Rowling) with abandonment if the writers/producers don't do what the fan-person wants them to do. Because, y'know, the writer is never trying to please herself.

Baby boom

It seems like pretty much everyone I know is having a baby this month or had one very, very recently. I'm attending three baby showers this month, including one that I'm hosting, and I sent a gift for another baby who was born to a good friend who lives out of state (and it's completely adorable; check it out). Still, shopping for babies hasn't gotten easier; I still have the same "Ack!" feeling I described in this entry from four years ago.

How I spent my weekend

camping trip 004,
originally uploaded by seemag.

I went camping and hiking this weekend and there were many adventures that happened, but in a nutshell, it was a lot of fun. I came home sick and without a voice, but it was all for a good cause! I spent the weekend taking lots of pictures -- 47 to be exact -- and here are some of the results.

Amen corner

I think I've mentioned before I don't really read liberal blogs, but I do read conservative blogs a lot. And it's not because I want to get my blood pressure high, but more because I like to be challenged. I already have opinions that are left of center and so I don't need to read someone's blog on why gay marriage is a good thing or why a woman's right to choose ought to be protected; I'm already there.

What I do appreciate is being challenged. I know why I have the opinions I have, and how they were formed. I like to think I'm being intelligent about my opinions/beliefs, that I have studied and read, and that I'm open to new information. This is what I like to think; it doesn't mean it's necessarily true. And that's why I read conservative blogs, because I know 9 times out of 10, it's going to be something I vehemently disagree with, but on the off chance that I get some new piece of information or something that makes me stop and consider an issue, I keep reading. This is why you're more likely to find me reading Michelle Malkin instead of Daily Kos (and incidentally, I draw the line at Ann Coulter; I have no time or use for crazy people -- no matter how funny people might think she is).

There's no point in reading something just because it will affirm what you already believe. Reading "the sky is green" over and over again doesn't make it so; it's taking the chance to read "the sky is blue" and then considering that statement carefully that's worthwhile. If you want to believe the sky is still green after that, by all means, but at least you gave it a shot.

---

Incidentally, I really hate the word 'you' when writing posts like this. It sounds accusatory, like I'm aiming this post at someone in particular, and I'm really not. I mean, it was sparked by a blog I read, but I don't think that person reads this blog (and if the owners of that blog did read this one, they'd probably run away in fear at the degenerative values espoused by this here piece of web real estate). My point is, it sounds lecture-y and condescending, which is not my intention at all. There just doesn't seem to be a way to espouse philosophy without the accusatory 'you'. Or at least, nothing my brain can come up with at 10:20, which is well past my bedtime.

RIP

So sad about Dana Reeve. She was one of those people who deserved something really good to happen to her, who had done so much for others and especially for her husband, and to think when she was starting all over again, she was diagnosed with lung cancer. Incredibly sad to lose two such wonderful and inspiration people in such a short timespan.

Pop culture

Reading: "Q is for Quarry" by Sue Grafton
Listening: A.R. Rahman
Watching: "The Amazing Race"
Traveling: The Rodeo*
Wondering: What kind of Oscars host will Jon Stewart be?
Cooking: Thai-style baked tofu, black bean chili

* Rodeo experience to come in tomorrow's blog

Life's like that

So two things happened today, making me question whether in fact, it was Monday, and not Tuesday as my calendar insisted.

1. My blister popped. Yes, at 7:30 in the morning. I yelped. It was an accident. But it hurt. Almost as bad as the initial burn. And I did a little jig, ran for the neosporin, and yelped some more. I didn't manage to cut off the skin and debride it like all of the websites said to do. I lack sufficient courage for all that. So instead, I ran to Walgreens, which don't you know is like the best place in the world, and got some 'hospital quality' pads and adhesives to put over the healing burn. There was more yelping because even the slightest touch hurts; I have a whole new respect for people with major burns -- I mean, I always knew it was painful and awful, but I've also never had a second-degree burn before either. How people manage with so much of their bodies burned is amazing to me. And for those of you curious, the burn is currently about the size of a nickle and whitish, with an angry and jagged red border.

2. My rock climbing trip was cancelled. Yes, after my enthusiastic shout-out last night, the trip was cancelled due to lack of participants. WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE NOT WANTING TO HANG OFF THE SIDE OF A CLIFF? Anyway, there's another hiking trip going to the same location that same weekend, and they offered to transfer me into it. I hemmed and hawed, thinking that a 5-mile hike is going to be rather hard on my arthritic right hip (but then again, isn't that what Aleve is for?) and really, a hike on a fairly flat terrain around a gigantic rock isn't quite as sexy as scaling up the sheer vertical face of said rock. But I had my mind set on a trip, and so I switched over. I think it'll be fun anyway. In the meantime, my friend pointed me to a rock climbing trip in April at the same place that he's thinking about going on, so I may go then. THE DREAM LIVES ON.

Mountain madness

I was going to blog about my burn blister (caused by polenta-splashage while cooking and it could have been worse if not for the quick thinking of Florida Girl who said, "Put a lid on it!"), but Rocky said no, no, no, and veto'd my idea of posting a picture of said blister. So you can all thank Rocky for that non-post and non-picture.

Instead, I shall talk about making my current mountain obsession come to life. I've missed the Great Outdoors since moving down to Very Red State, and in December, I had a little taste of it when we did the Great Road Trip and I found a small trail to hike on. So I did some digging around and I found a rock climbing and camping trip that takes place in a couple of weeks. I was nervous about signing up, because, y'know, it's about DANGLING OFF THE SIDE OF A CLIFF, and it meant traveling miles and miles and spending time with people I didn't know. I'd almost talked a friend into coming with me, but he'd just come back from a ski trip and didn't want to do two trips in a row like that.

But I couldn't get the trip out of my mind. I was scared because it was trying something I'd never done before, potentially life-threatening and/or pelvic-smashing type activities. I wouldn't know anyone on the trip, so very possibly I could go an entire 72-hour period without speaking to anyone*. Finally I thought, "So what if no one I knows is going to be there? It's something I want to do." So I picked up the phone, my thumb caressing the raised numbers on my credit card and before I could back out, I bought myself a spot on the trip.

My excitement hasn't died down since. I can't stop talking about it, and anytime someone asks me what's new, I launch into this breathless soliquoy about the rock climbing trip and by the time I'm done, I bet they're sorry they even asked. I'm confident, injuries and all, that I'll still be able to make a good attempt at this rock. It's a new experience to have, something more to talk about than, "Yeah, still at the same job, yup, still living in the same place, nope, not really seeing anyone" conversations I seem to be having a lot lately.

Already, I have my eye on a trip this group is doing next year in semi-Red State -- a four-day hiking trip that involves a REAL LIFE BASE CAMP. And for people who know about my Mt. Everest obsession, they know that my dream is to go hang out at the Everest base camp for a few days**. It's not the same thing, but heck, I've never camped on top of mountain before, so that seems really, really cool to me, especially the part where it says "Breakfast, summit attempt" -- as if the summit isn't a foregone conclusion.

I'm making my own excitement and I like the way that feels. I'm not going to ask for company anymore to do things, and I'm not going to wait for someone to ask me. I'm just going to do it.

*And this is where RL people say, "Nah, that would never happen."
** Seriously. Just base camp. No higher than that.

Scary

It looks like the South Dakotan abortion ban will be signed into law. Granted, it'll be struck down as unconstitutional and really is just a ploy to get the SCOTUS to reconsider Roe v Wade, but the fact that it bans ALL abortions -- including pregnancies caused by rape or incest -- and only has an exception for saving the woman's life is just disturbing to me.

I'm a firm believer in "legal but rare" abortions -- where we work to make sure people have birth control, understand the consequences of their actions, and get the health care they need and the information they need to make the right decisions; abstinance education is one solution, but it's not the answer because people are people. Nor is this outright ban on abortions the solution.

What particularly disturbs me is this sentence:

If a rape victim becomes pregnant and bears a child, the rapist could have the same parental rights as the mother, said Krista Heeren-Graber, executive director of the South Dakota Network Against Family Violence and Sexual Assault.

"The idea the rapist could be in the child's life ... makes the woman very, very fearful. Sometimes they need to have choice," Heeren-Graber said.

Just. Wow.

The thing is, banning abortion doesn't make it go away and the impact will be purely economic; the women who are least likely to have the education, proper health care and economic status to make a decision about whether to continue a pregnancy are the ones who will be most impacted by this law (and laws like it) and will suffer disproportionately.

What gets me is that there is absolutely NO empathy from the anti-abortion side for what a woman might be going through, why she would make a decision to have an abortion. My pro-choice stance is because I have NO idea why a woman would choose to terminate a pregnancy, what the circumstances are in her life, and what led to that pregnancy in the first place. I'm way too lazy and uncaring to consider these aspects of another woman's life, and hence, I'm happy to leave the decision to her (and anyone else she chooses to involve in her life).

I really wish the government would stop legislating what I can and cannot do with my body, with my life. If only the so-called 'pro-life' movement would spend this much time and energy on putting together a decent health care plan.

Hail to the Chef!

This Italian-style polenta dish caught my eye, and it looks like something you might like too, Gail. Also, celebrity chefs share some of their healthiest recipes over here. I especially like the look of the gazpacho soup.

The problem is, now I have to whip something up for my dinner and I can't seem to think much past scrambled eggs at the moment. Anyone have leftovers or willing to entertain an extra guest for dinner?

Speaking of spoilers

I just watched a clip for this weekend's "Grey's Anatomy" over here and now I want to kick myself. It's a fine line between wanting desperately to know what happens before it happens and wanting to know nothing at all, so to be completely surprised/shocked/awed. That's how I feel about "Battlestar Galactica," which I completely avoid any news of spoilers, etc. There are people who want to know everything about a movie or a television show, and I admit to being, on occasion, one of them. But "Grey's Anatomy" is slowly teaching me that not knowing is the way better path to take.

Self-censorship

I stayed completely off-line yesterday (go me!) in order to avoid being spoiled for the ladies' free skate. That meant getting off-line at work and ignoring the desire to check headlines after 3 pm, not listening to the radio in the car, and then not checking email or blogs at all when I got home. I didn't even go to the gym, instead choosing to work out in my living room, in case someone forgot their earphones and the results of the competition blared out. When it came to television, I watched part of "Survivor," but everytime it went to commercial, I immediately flipped to NBC, just in case the nightly news previews gave away the results.

It worked.

I was completely unspoiled for last night's figure skating program, where once again, the woman who managed to stay upright for the long program, won it all. That being said, Shizuka Arakawa performed magnificently, not a single bauble anywhere and I honestly think she has one of the most beautiful Ina Bauers I've seen. Sasha Cohen gracefully and elegantly rebounded from two disappointing spills, and I was shocked to see Irina Slutskya double a jump and fall on a triple flip. I was incredibly impressed by Joannie Rochette, the Canadian, and I like Fumie Suguri's long, though not as much as her short. The two youngsters -- Kimmie Miessner and Emily Hughes -- acquitted themselves well; they should hold up well for 2010.

Tonight's the skating gala, and I'm looking forward to that. I did already get all the results for tonight's races, but I figure a double-dose of extreme censorship was a wee bit much. Besides, I can only be deprived of the Internet sooo long before I break out into hives.

LotD

Howard Stern's Use of Profanity Jumps 34 percent. While the headline caught my eye in that "someone's got WAY too much time on their hands" way, this sentence made me chuckle: "This entry shockulated the "Shockulator" auditors most, with several people losing serious money in the pools."

Cent sense

I'm reading a prospectus on mutual funds and my eyes are literally and seriously rolling back into my head. Because of things going on in RL (tm), I thought this would be a good time to evaluate some of the finances and figure out what's what and where's what. Hence, the reading of the prospectus. I think I'm just an average Josephine when it comes to this kind of stuff; my dad's the rock star.

But the RL upheaval has necessitated the reading of the prospectus, and even though I do this kind of thing and under stand the concept of betas, expense ratios, etc., I'm still overwhelmed by what to do. Ideally, I'd like to forget about it all and hope for the best. It's possibly not the investment strategy that'll keep pace with inflation though, so hence, the bedtime reading.

My point is -- and I apologize for sounding incredibly arrogant here -- even with an MBA and a bachelor's in business and the fact that I spend chunks of my day working on financials, I'm still bewildered by this stuff. Should I pick that fund or this one? When should I sell out? Is my grid -- large, small, mid, versus value, cap, growth -- properly balanced? Is random Korean company a better bet than Pepsi? Should I pick Microsoft or Dell? How long do I hold 'em before I fold 'em?

It's for that reason I'm so incredibly convinced that diverting funds into personal accounts rather than having the whole chunk go into a Social Security fund is an awfully bad idea. No one has the time to read prospectus and re-balance their portfolios every month or even every quarter; you're doing good if you can get it all to make sense once a year. And what works this year may not work next year. It's the way of things.

Obviously, I'm ranting on an issue that's all but dead, but just doing this now reminds me how hard it is just to get the mix right, let alone trying to beat the stock market when the average Joe/Josephine is too harried by Real Life (tm) to sit down and actually figure out what's what.

Things that make you go huh...

Sweat Sock City has a "Graffiti Abatement Team" and they drive around in a sky blue van. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself this morning on the way to work. What got me was the GAT's presence in the historical neighborhood, which is SO not a hot spot for graffiti.

Contemplating

Some time ago, I had a conversation with a few friends about Hollywood. We were talking about stars we admire, and why. And honestly, if you asked me that question right now, I couldn't come up with an answer, but one particular star -- whom I know very little about and have seen only a few of his movies -- came up. One of his virtues, according to my friends, was that he didn't use his stardom for politics or to push a particular cause.

I hear a lot of criticism of celebrities who use their status to promote a subject -- whether it's antiwar (George Clooney), or anti-Taliban (a cause made famous by Maeve Leno, incidentally), or raising awareness in Third World countries (Angelina Jolie) -- but I don't actually understand what the downside is. If Richard Gere wants to free Tibet and testify in Congress about his knowledge, what's the problem?

The truth is, plenty of non-celebrities do a lot of great work for humanity every single day of the week, 365 days a year, but none of us pay attention. My friend Heather spent two and a half years in Niger, living in a mud hut, as part of the Peace Corps. She tells me about her experience, her other friends, her colleagues, but in the grand scheme of thing, Joe Public isn't going to pay attention to Heather. They're going to pay attention when Angelina Jolie decides that there's a crisis in Haiti and she's going to check it out. And as much as Heather learned and accomplished in Niger, there's more work to be done there than she can accomplish on her own and as who she is.

I don't mind when celebrities talk about their opinions on the war or who should be elected president. Just because someone is a pretty face wearing designer clothes doesn't mean they aren't entitled to their opinions or actions, and last I checked, we're all guaranteed by the First Amendment to say nearly anything we want to say. The only thing really these celebrities accomplish by these visits and their speeches is making us all feel a little more uncomfortable about the fact there are small tragedies happening every day around the world, some of them caused by leaders whom we've been asked to trust and consider infalliable.

Pop culture

Reading: The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
Watching: "American Idol," "The Olympics"
Listening: Extraodinary Machine by Fiona Apple
Cooking: Simple Vegetarian Pleasures by Jeanne Lemlin

Valentine's Day

So I just had possibly the most embarassing conversation EVER with a total stranger. Seriously. I'm not going to go into it in gory detail, since it was so incredibly embarassing, but for those of you in the know: after feeling very sluggish this afternoon, I finally got up the nerve to confront the noisy neighbors.

So I was standing there, the door opened, and I opened my mouth to speak.

Oh the EMBARASSMENT.

Oh the DISCOMFORT.

And the entire time I'm speaking, the heat is rising in my face, and all I can think of is, "Seema, you selfish girl, run away now, run, and invest in ear plugs for the remainder of your lease."

But I'd flung open the lid of Pandora's box and I had to keep going on, if for nothing else, the honor of the situation (such as it is/was), but man, I so wished the floor would open up and swallow me up.

I'm pretty sure my neighbor felt the same.

Why can't I have neighbors who just play loud music? Or set off the fire alarms like I do?

And then when I asked, just to be nice, if I was loud, he said, "You can have a party every day until 3 am and I wouldn't care. You're the one with the problem."

::headdesk::

I'm just saying, building bookshelves and furniture* up against your neighbor's wall at 3 am in the morning is not the way to endear yourselves to your neighbors. Telling them about the fact they keep you awake, when you both know what you're referring to, that's not exactly a primo way to make friends and influence people either.

But I need sleep, dang it. I wish I didn't feel so conflicted about this, torn between respecting someone's privacy, but at the same time wanting them to understand how their actions are INTERFERING WITH MY LIFE IN A WAY THAT COULD BE DANGEROUS.

I don't think I can ever make eye contact with my neighbors again. Ever.

And couldn't be happening to a nicer couple: Cruise and Holmes deny break-up stories.

* Euphemistically speaking.

Sadness

Michelle Kwan withdraws from the Olympics. I'm really sad to see this because even though I knew she was a long-shot for gold, I wanted to see her get her last shot. She's an amazing role model, a class-act, and I really admire people who keep on trying, even when others have written them off. I wish she'd ended her career on a more positive note, but what she's done today is emblematic of the kind of person she is -- putting aside her dream to do what's best for the country, and in the process, giving Emily Hughes a chance at the Olympics.

Mikee Celizic puts it beautifully over here.

Goodnight, and Good Luck

I saw this movie last week and the one word that clearly comes to mind when describing it is the one Newsweek used: stylish. From a technical and artistic point of view, and maybe even screenwriting, the film is very nicely done. The black and white print is crisp, clear, and the edges and contours of the actors and their surroundings are brought out in vivid focus. David Straithairn does a superb job as Edward R. Murrow, though never having seen the real man, I cannot judge on the make-up job. And there are sections of dialogue that are excellent, and a few laugh out-loud moments, but in general, the script relies heavily on videotape from that era.

The film fell apart for me in terms of the story. There really wasn't one. I was interested in the battle between Murrow and Senator McCarthy, because it's an era I hear a lot about, but know very little about. Besides, as some of you may have noticed (g), I have a passing interest in all things media-related, and so the politics and journalism aspect of this film appealed to me. The issue here was, there was no sense of urgency, or suspense, or what the stakes were for Friendly and Murrow other than they had to pay for their own television ads. Murrow went up against McCarthy in a few televised spots, but what was the real effect on him as a man? On Fred Friendly? On the people who worked with him? It's never quite clear. The only real victim in this film is Don Hollenbach, but his downfall wasn't directly related to the stories Murrow was putting out, so even that angle didn't work as well as it could have.

I'm not saying every movie needs to have a victim, but rather than having long spans of time when we're watching video of the stories Murrow told, it would have been more intriguing to learn about the people producing, to get a sense of how they were feeling. It's an ode to journalism, a message to today's reporters who seem to do everything they can do to not challenge the administration except where interns and cigars are involved, but other than that, it's just a stylish piece of film, with very little emotional involvement -- from either the audience or the characters.

Sideways

The zinfindel as California's official state wine? I like the sound of that. I'm a white Zinfindel kind of gal, especially of the Beringer* variety.

I'm not terribly crazy about red wine, though apparently it's something the discerning wine lover (such as yours truly, though hardly discerning am I) is supposed to appreciate. Chardonnay is my second favorite after the zinfindel, and Sauvignon Blanc is my least favorite of the white wines. My brother is a big fan of a Portuguese green wine, which I also like; if he stops by, hopefully he'll leave the name of it here in the comments (hint, hint).

* Incidentally, the Beringer winery in Napa Valley is absolutely gorgeous. I mean, they all are, but it was a special treat to visit Beringer because, y'know, I like their wine, especially their white merlot.

Vevy Intwesting

I know some of you rent from Netflix, so this article about 'throttling' will probably be of interest to you.

Meme

I was planning to review "Goodnight, and Good Luck" today, but instead, this caught my eye. Yes, I am incredibly and so easily distractable. The movie review will have to wait until Friday (no bloggity on Thursday).

Four jobs I've had

1. Lifeguard and swim instructor. The former sounds a lot cooler than it actually is (how many hours can you listen to kids playing Marco Polo, huh?), and the former was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.
2. Librarian's assistant. Which was way cool because I was right there when all the bestsellers came in and I never had to wait for them. And oh, it also helped pay off my debt to the library -- much in the way of late fees.
3. Newspaper editor. I struck fear into the hearts of reporters everywhere. Or so I liked to think. I was mostly a softy. Except for the one person I fired. And even then I couldn't get the words out. I handed him a letter.
4. Sandwich maker. Yup. I spent a summer making deli sandwiches. Once a cockroach was sitting in the cheese, and a customer pointed it out. So I gave the cheese to the prep person in the back, she flicked the cockroach off and handed the cheese back to me.

Four movies I can watch over and over

1. "Steel Magnolias"
2. "A Few Good Men"
3. "Top Gun"
4. "The Scarlet Pimpernal" (Jane Seymour & Anthony Andrews version)

Four TV shows I love

1. "Grey's Anatomy"
2. "Battlestar Galactica"
3. "Without a Trace"
4. "Commander-in-Chief"

Four places I've vacationed

1. London, England
2. Virginia Beach, VA
3. Barcelona/Madrid, Spain
4. Lake Tahoe, CA

Four of my favorite dishes

1. Yogurt, preferably plain and most preferably homemade by my mother
2. Margerita pizza
3. Chipotle burritos
4. Most Indian vegetarian dishes

Four sites I visit daily

1. CNN.com
2. NY Times
3. Washington Post
4. MSNBC


Four places I would rather be right now

1. Playing with the niecelet
2. In Boston, having coffee with my friends
3. Orlando, going shopping with Florida Girl
4. Mt. Everest

VCR Alert*

ABC is re-running the Superbowl episode of "Grey's Anatomy" on Thursday night (which will probably give ABC something close to a pulse on that particular night of the week). Details over here. If you haven't seen it, do! I haven't been this in love with an episode of television since... I don't know.

Did I just say I was in love with a television episode? No wonder I keep having taquito moments.

*Or TIVO. I know, I know, VCR technology is so 2000

Tech schmech

This article on premium email caught my eye. I've always thought it would be a Good Thing (tm) to charge people to send email, something nominal like one-hundredth of a cent or something like that. It wouldn't affect normal emailers greatly -- a couple of cents month, maybe, to send out emails (unless you're the type who sends out more than 200 emails a month). But it would get the spammers who send out thousands of emails a day, costing them $310/month if they sent out a thousand emails a day. If you use Yahoo and AOL's pricing of 1/4 cent, then it's suddenly costing spammers $1,000/month to do something they used to do for free and the more they send, the more it costs them* and maybe they'd have to cut down on the number of emails they send (or at least target them better; I, for instance, do not need Viagra).

Also, the ads for pizza supplies and pizza stones in the comments over here amuse me greatly.

*Acutally, this reminds me of those sales: "The more you spend, the more you save!" WTH? It's all proportional. If it's 10 percent off $50, then you save $5, but you've spent $45. If you spend $100, then you save $10, but you've spent $90. Sure you've doubled your savings, but you had to double your spending in order to do so. [soapbox]That's why it never makes sense to me when people say, "Oh, if I just buy this other pair of shoes I don't really need, I'll save $10 instead of $5."[/soapbox]

The taquito moment

"The Taquito Moment is the test you didn't know you were giving until the other person failed. Sometimes, it's an impossible test."

Meet market

The key to making new friends is making friends with people who have friends they are willing to introduce you to. I envision a party where the host invites 3 or 4 people with the caveat that they have to bring someone the host or the host-invitees don't know. So theoretically, the party would be a good mix of people who know each other and don't, so you'd avoid the problem of having a couple of people at a party who don't know anyone except the host, but also not so many new people that the host herself is flustered with trying to make conversation or connections between all of the guests.

Link of the Day

Today's LotD is provide by Florida Girl. The price of generic drugs varies from pharmacy to pharmacy. And because I'm naturally suspicious of things like this, I checked the link out on snopes.com and found that it is indeed true. So I guess the moral of the story is to comparison shop, even when it comes to generic drugs. Of course, if you're on an HMO like I am, and have been moved to the more expensive mail-order for 'maintenance' drugs (like I have been), then there isn't much choice. I promised not to get political, but really, there has to be something better than this.

LotD

I stole this link from my brother.

The 50 Most Loathsome People in 2005. Check out number 4 :-)

Contemplating

That saying about "always being a bridesmaid, never a bride"? I've never been either, and every now and then, not ever having been a bridesmaid kind of irks me more than never having been a bride*. Yes, I know -- I've saved hundreds of dollars on dresses, shoes, and all of the other ridiculousness that goes along with being asked to participate in a wedding. And then there's the fact that most of my close friends who have gotten married live clear across the country and it would have been a hardship to participate in their weddings as anything other than a proud and happy guest.

But being a bridesmaid is one of those milestones that nearly every girl/woman experiences, kind of like the prom. It's about having a dress you will never ever wear again hanging in your closet, the early morning session with a hairdresser molding your hair into an gravity-defying style, of being side by side with your friend on her special day. There's a lot to gripe about when it comes to this particular tradition, but the sentiment behind the asking, that's what I want to experience.

* Unless I meet Mr. Right, and then maybe not so much

Insignificant microbe

There's actually a blogosphere ecosystem out there, and I was curious as to where I ranked and I'm happy to report that this blog is ranked 35,683rd. I have no idea how many blogs are actually out there, but I know the ecosystem ranking goes out to at least 48,014 (pulling up the whole list crashes my computer).

Brokeback Mountain

I finally saw "Brokeback Mountain" yesterday mostly because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, and also because I have this thing about seeing movies that are potentially Oscar gold. I was a wee bit hesitant mostly because I couldn't find a single RL friend who was enthused about the film (mind you, no one had actually seen it; they just 'heard' it wasn't that good and a few people even winced at the idea of the film) and even though the film has won a ton of awards, I've been burnt by that before: to wit, Lost in Translation, perhaps one of the most boring movies I've ever seen.

So my expectations were low going into the movie theatre, but from the very first scene I was hooked. Nature was practically a major character in the film, and the scenery was absolutely breathtaking -- the mountains, the valleys, the water-side scenes. In general, the movie was filmed beautifully. And then there was the acting -- Heath Ledger's laconic Ennis, Jake Gyllenhaal's passionate Jack, and Michelle Williams as the brittle Alma -- which was first rate.

The screenplay also surprised me, because it was the type of dialogue that appeals to me the most -- few words, but not a single conversation is wasted, and amazingly, there were plenty of gentle humor to balance out the angst. My favorite line of dialogue in the whole movie comes when Jack says to Ennis, "I wish I knew how to quit you." And because there is such an economy of words, a lot of what transpires between the two men and their respective spouses (Anne Hathaway plays Lureen, Jack's wife) is shown, not told, and that's refreshing.

The pacing, especially at the beginning is excellent, and the tension builds appropriately as Jack and Ennis meet and their relationship progresses from friendship to something more.

My only complaint has to do with casting. Anne Hathaway didn't work for me at all as Jack's wife -- she didn't blend with her character as well as some of the others. Also, the appearance of Linda Cardenelli ("ER") as a wanna-be nurse was jarring, mostly because I can't stand her character on "ER" and to think of her as being a nurse in this particular scenario was too much of a tie back to the non-Brokeback world.

So I give the movie two thumbs up.

Photo op

Remember the futon? Voila.

*

* Photo storage now provided by flickr, since it's so much easier for me than going into Photoshop, resizing, uploading to my website etc.

Technically-challenged

Today I called up a friend, but instead of hitting 'Talk' on my phone, I hit the speaker phone button. And then spent the first three minutes of our conversation trying to figure out how to turn off the speaker phone. She said, "Oh my God, you have an MBA and you can't figure out how to turn off a speaker?"

Well, they didn't teach us *that* in B-school.

I've found that I'm getting more and more technically challenged as time goes on. I don't have time to keep up with the latest web design techniques and coding; the fact that this blog is mostly CSS was a big accomplishment back in the day, but I've yet to muster up the time and energy it would take to convert the rest of the site. And I'm lazy. Have I mentioned that I'm lazy?

My latest issue is the digital camera. Yes, I now have a digital camera, courtesy of my brother. It took me forever just to figure out how to turn it on (The Inimitable Miss Barr was very polite and didn't laugh at me while I was futzing around with it), and then I accidentally took a picture. Of my desk. And not just my desk, but the top faux granite texture of my desk, which is no kind of interesting. Anyway, my plan is to eventually start posting pictures here, maybe even of the remnant of egg that still clings tenaciously to the kitchen ceiling, but first I have to figure out how to get the pictures off the camera and into my computer.

Stay tuned.

On a positive note though, I did figure out port forwarding for my router. So perhaps I'm not completely without hope.

Politika

This blog is going to temporarily suspend all political chatter. Not that there was a whole lot of it to begin with, and I tried very, very much not to bash anyone (except Tom DeLay) too much, but given a current upheaval in the RL, I think it's best to declare a temporary moratorium on all things political until I figure out exactly where the chips may fall.

This self-censorship thing gets harder and harder with each passing day. ::sigh::

Fine dining

Today, when I was waiting in line at Taco Bell to pick up lunch, I was standing behind a woman who ordered, get this, $68 worth of food. Yes, at TACO BELL*. Granted, it's one of those hybrid fast food restaurants -- Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, KFC, all rolled in one -- but who on earth spends $68 at a FAST FOOD RESTAURANT?

* And because I'm such a geek, I did the calculations. $68 translates into roughly 86 bean burritos.

Catch-up

Also, I think I've emailed a response to pretty much everyone who has emailed me over the last six months. If you fit in that time period and you didn't get a response from me, mea culpa, and let me know. I've been awfully bad about the whole thing and only a couple of people have been getting pronto responses. Answering email in a timely fashion (say, within a week of receiving the note) could be a whole 'nother New Year's resolution, but like my brother, I don't make those.

Pop culture

Reading: Marriage, a history: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie Coontz, and The World is Flat: A Brief History of the 21st Century by Thomas Friedman

Watching: Bleak House, on PBS'"Masterpiece Theatre", and starring among others, Gillian Anderson

Listening: Life for Rent by Dido and Extraordinary Machine by Fiona Apple

What he said

"The secret to living a full life with no regrets and to staying young is to figure out what you belive in and fight for it. If you lose, don't give up. If you win, raise the bar, and then rare back and do something else. And remember that, with the accumulation of years, our responsibilities to the future grow greater, not less."

-- Bill Clinton

Video

I discovered google videos today, and have spent a chunk of the morning watching Hindi music videos, which I absolutely adore.

Starting off with the the Indian national anthem, "Jana Gana Mana", which I highly recommend, at least for the first 3-4 minutes, which has beautiful instrumentation and showcases classic Indian music. It's also directed by A.R. Rahman who does such a great job of mixing modern styles with classical arrangements and features a who's who of singing talent, including my favorite, Lata Mangeshkar (and actually, the first time I've seen her singing alongside her sister, Asha Bhosle -- who won an MTV award not too long ago).

I really like the actress Kajol, while I couldn't find a video from my favorite, "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai," I did find this one from Kabhi Khushi Khabie Gaum" (featuring Kajol with leading man Shah Rukh Khan). This one actually has subtitles too, which is always nice. And oh! It has all the cliches of a Hindi film song -- rapid change in locations! Beautiful costumes changed in seconds! Obligatory wet sari scene! Lots of embracing and touching, but no kissing!

Here's another Shah Rukh Khan song I really like: Chalte Chalte. The actress is Rani Mukherjee (cousin of Kajol). The only video I could find from "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" features all three of them.

Here's Jane Wo kaise from at least 40 years ago. The picture is grainy, but I love the poignant lyricism and 'classic' movie stars from days of yore.

Here's one from Mission: Kashmir, a movie about terrorism (which I blogged about here), but even so there's time for song and dance. Rhithik Groshan, the male lead, is my current favorite Hindi film actor.

On writing

I'm not really in the mood to write or blog, for any number of reasons. I'm way too tense right now to do so, even though in theory, writing ought to be a release of some kind. But I'm thinking about this now, because Jemima (who is distracting me from RL) and I are discussing the pitfalls of letting people know you write -- mainly, that people invariably want you to write some story that is not your own, but theirs. You see it all the time in the fanfic world: someone will post a nearly complete outline and ask for volunteers to turn it into a story.

The thing is, people write what they want to write. It's hard work, takes discipline, but there is still that element of spark/muse/inspiration -- what have you -- that actually makes writing an exhilarating rush involved. We write what we write because we're attracted to the subject matter, because it makes us want to get involved with the characters, to build on that world, to develop a storyline that is as addicting to write as it is (hopefully) to read. When writing isn't your day job, when it's something you do on the side and for fun and for the dream of maybe one day seeing your name in print (other than on a byline, which I have literally thousands of), then the limited time makes for a purely selfish decision: we writers prefer to write what we like, rather than what is suggested to us by others.

For instance, I like to write fiction because I like creating worlds that exist outside of my own, that are populated with characters who live only in my head, and all of this is removed far from my own reality; I'm not really interested in reality-based writing, which is a big reason why I gave up journalism. When I write fiction, I'm excited and I get into the story because just as much as the reader, I want to know what happens next. I'm not interested in writing about a story with an ending I already know or with characters who are presented to me on a silver platter. I write for the adventure of discovery as much as for the finished project.

But it's incredibly hard to explain this to people who find out you're a writer and ask you to write the story they've come up with, whether it's fiction or non. They are so eager about it, and I feel awful so I lie and tell them, "I'm not writing right now," when what I really want to say is "I'm sorry, but as wonderful and uplifting as your story is, I'm simply not interested enough to give up my one hour of writing time per evening to write it for you."

A rose is a rose is a rose

I don't know about some of you, but putting a title on my stories is incredibly hard; trying to figure out what will 'sell', what makes sense, what I like, etc. There was a trend way back in the day to name all stories after popular songs and for all I know, fanficcers are still doing that. But now I think obscure and nonsensical is the way to go, something like "October Falling".

Anyway, I found this site, which tells you how just how likely it is the title you pick has 'bestseller' written all over it. Incidentally, I just tested "October Falling" and it has a 72.5 percent chance of being a bestseller. Now to find a story that goes along with that title...

Newsies

First the good: Tom DeLay losing support in own district. And now the better: Michelle Kwan is going to Turin.

I love that Michelle is going, though I'm not sure she's as strong a contender as Sasha Cohen is. However, her experience on the international stage, her confidence and focus, and ability to get the job done, put her in greater stead than Emily Hughes. What is interesting about Kwan's performance -- and probably what exemplifies her as an athlete -- is that she's giving officials two opportunities, on the 20th and 27th, to see her skate and if they don't think she's ready, she'll withdraw. That's a generous enough timeframe that if things don't go according to plan, Emily Hughes will be able to prepare and be ready.

I have a thing for people who keep trying, who don't make excuses, and who despite setbacks and being written-off, keep trying and maintain a positive, mature attitude. That's the quality I really admire about Michelle Kwan, and that's why I'm so glad she's getting her third (and most likely) final shot at Olympic gold.

Anniversary

I forgot to mention: this is the fifth year of the blog. On the 31st, it'll officially be five years old. It feels like forever since I started blogging and I've changed a lot in terms of the type of person I am and more superficially, the types of things I write about. It's been a fun five years, so here's to the next five.

In addition to the Big Five for this blog, I hit the big 3-0 on Sunday. It's vaguely scary because I never thought it would get here, and now it's here and it feels like any other birthday. In some ways, I'm not where I want to be -- professionally, personally -- and that is on occasion disappointing. When people call with big news -- engagements, weddings, babies, promotions -- these days, I don't have much to tell them back.

What I *have* accomplished this year is something I don't necessarily talk about much, but all the same, very proud of: I've become a happier, more confident person, and I don't freak out quite as often as I used to (ask The Fainter). I learned how to swing dance and how to change a tire and the air filter in my car. I learned how to cook tofu and in general, I've been setting off fire alarms a lot less. I managed to get through my first mostly non-hurricane without major issues, and I attacked my paper problem with a vengence. I was out and about more than I was in, and I got better at yoga and made my peace with my hip injury. I bought a whole new wardrobe this year, filled with clingy tank tops, low-rise pants, and fun, flippy skirts, because it's okay to show off. I learned to love baseball, and entered more writing contests this year than I ever have before. But mostly, I learned that I'm not defined by my job or by who I'm with or without. I've lived a pretty good life for my first 30 years, and I'm looking forward to the next 30 to be just as good, if not better.

Sad news

This is going to sound strange, coming on so close on the heels of the previous post which was my usual inanity, but I've been upset for the last couple days about some news I received (and am still receiving) about a former classmate and colleague who was kidnapped earlier this week in Baghdad and I thought I'd say something about it because it's what's first and foremost on my mind and it seems silly to pretend otherwise.

Jill's abduction is shocking news -- I mean, these kidnappings always are -- but this hits extremely close to home because I worked with Jill Carroll years ago (I was a night editor when she was a news reporter) and we probably took journalism classes together as well.

CBS has a story on Jill's kidnapping here, the Christian Science Monitor has an update here (no news) and a profile on Jill here.

As a friend of mine from the Collegian said, "There is probably little we can do except think and pray for her and her family." Somehow, it doesn't seem enough.

Risk

I haven't been around lately because I've been too busy taking over the world. Literally. I've been playing "Civilization III" on my computer and it's a game I became addicted to back in high school, and every few years they come out with a new version, with all new bells and whistles, and I just can't stop myself from going on a playing binge. The other day, I did something unprecedented. When I play "Civilization", I like to a kindly, benevelot President-type. I like to invest in my people, my cities, science, you know that kind of thing, and build a nice, happy and content civilization.

That all changed last week when I built my first bomber and I thought, "what am I going to do with this thing?" And I looked to the east, and Rome was RIGHT THERE. So I went and walloped my former friend Rome with the bomber. Really it was all curiousity because a) I've never attacked another civilization before and b) I've never used a bomber before. Before you know it, I'll be crossing the line and using the nukes I'm building. Anyway, I ended up launching a full-scale world war, forming alliances with the Chinese, the Indians and my former enemies, the Egyptians, to take out the Romans. In the meantime, the Americans -- coming to the aid of the beleagured Romans -- declared war on little ole me, and then the English, afraid of my endless supply of infantry, tanks and bombers, wanted to make peace. I made peace with the English, but sank a few American ships, and blithely annihilated the Romans. Current status: at war with the Americans, and at peace with everyone else.

That's not gonna last long; I've gotten my first taste of battle and victory and I LIKE IT.

My "Civilization" binges only last for a couple weeks at a time, and I'm already wondering what's next on the gaming schedule (yes, I know, I should be writing), and thanks to Alex, now I'm thinking about The Sims.

Confession

On the weekends, I occasionally nap on my futon and before napping, I like to watch television for a few minutes. I don't have cable, so weekend pickings are slim, to be kind. Mostly it comes down to some sporting event or a third-rate movie from the '80s or infommercials. Invariably I pick the infommercials. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that I'm fascinated by infommercials and can't stop watching some of them.

For instance, that rotisserie oven one -- that's my favorite. I'll never buy one, but I'm fascinated by the different things you can cook in these ovens, and I love it when they show off the knife set and say things like, "Do you know how much you'd pay for just one of these knives? DO YOU KNOW?" And then they pluck some number out of thin air, something crazy like $200, and then they say, "If you call today to order a rotisserie oven, we will give you not one of these knives, but an ENTIRE SET OF KNIVES for free."

And just when I'm ready to pick up the phone and call, because people, a couple of my knives are held together with scotch tape, the announcer ratchets up the excitement. He says, "And that's not all you'll get if you call TODAY. We'll also throw in the flavor injector. The knives and the rotisserie oven are all good and stuff, but it's the flavor injector that gets me every single time because the food *I* cook tastes all the same. The infommercial people then spend the next 10 minutes injecting various kinds of meat with lemon or basil or garlic and then, they bake the thing in the rotisserie oven, and slice it open with one of the knives, and show off something that I can only call a thing of beauty.

Yesterday, though, I hit a new low. The above infommercial is my preferred infommercial; I must have seen it about 80 gazillion times (but have yet to actually spring for those knives, the oven and the much-coveted flavor injector). I usually skip financial infommercials and anything involving excercise. But yesterday, there was one guy (who kind of looked like a rat -- his face ended in a point at his chin, his hair was puffy and slicked back, and his eyes were narrow, and his cheek-bones were alarmingly high for a man) promoting his 'two-part herbal digestive cleaning system' and he actually used the word 'fecal matter'. In fact, he used it many, many times, and somehow, managed to keep a straight face when a caller asked, "I'm so tired, will this product help me?" And this guy answered, "Well, do you have kids? Yes? Okay, well, are your stools bigger or smaller than your kids?" And the caller KNEW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION to the millimeter.

I nearly died.

Anyway, there was also a doctor, Jan Barron, who was a paid endorser, and she went on and on about fecal matter, and toxicity to the organs, and all the while, I'm thinking, "She looks like someone from 'Dynasty'." In fact, she even dressed like someone on "Dynasty" -- white gilt hair, a sparkly jacket with the huge shoulder pads that I *thought* were back in the '80s with big hair, blue eyeshadow, and legwarmers. Looking like a relic of the '80s, it was impossible to take her seriously as she discussed about dandlion 'rute' and how inportant it is to cleanse your colon and oh by the way, you do this, you will lose 15 pounds JUST LIKE THAT. Of course, the topping on this whole trainwreck was the breathless, "Call now! The first 100 callers get a STEEP DISCOUNT," never mind that at no time did Dynasty!lady or rat!man ever say how much the "two-step herbal digestive cleaning system" cost in the first place.

It was amusing, but not quite up to par with the aforementioned rotisserie oven. I like visuals (nothing like taking out some aggression by stabbing a turkey with a SolidFlavor Injector filled with cranberries, for instance!), but in the case of the "two-step herbal digestive cleaning system," maybe it was a good thing there were no visuals.

Impromptu

I always wonder how other people blog. Do they sit down at the computer, type out a thoughtful entry, edit it, and then post? Or are they helter-skelter like me and just post whatever whenever? Honestly, most times when I sit down to blog, I have no idea what's going to come out. Sometimes I have an idea in mind, but most of the times I don't. I don't have access to the blog at work (and really, I would NEVER blog at work), so between an 9-hour day and then coming home and getting myself out of the work-frame of mind, by the time I sit down, all coherence is lost (heck, I'm losing coherence *now*). The most preparation I usually do before blogging is collecting links (I admit to 'canning' entries in the past, but I don't seem to have time to do that anymore).

I like to think this blog is purely me, shooting from the hip, with very little filtered between what's going on in my head and my fingers. I don't have rough drafts; I might correct obvious typos, but most of the time I just let it be. Of course, that method means I have regrets later on, like when I wrote about this incident. I neglected to mention when I walked out onto my balcony, someone across the courtyard was already out on hers. It was dark, I couldn't see her, but I suspected she was someone I'd had a cross-courtyard conversation with during the hurricane. She saw me come and yelled, "Do you see THAT? Do you see that? WOW!" And then just like me, she leaned over the railing, trying to see around the building blocking off most of the night sky. And around the courtyard, people were coming out and standing on their balconies, watching the fireworks. It felt like a community for those few minutes and when the fireworks were over, we all went back into our apartments.

Uh oh

Michelle Kwan has withdrawn from Nationals due to an injury. She's petitioning for a waiver to go to Turin in February to compete as part of the Olympic team. This should be interesting, the way it plays out. Based on reputation alone, she's a class-act with an amazing history of accomplishments, but can she compete with the new scoring system? I'm not entirely sure. I like to root for Michelle because I think she's a wonderful role model compared to so many athletes and I like the fact she keeps trying and doesn't seem to be hampered by disappointment.

But it wouldn't be right for the Skating Federation to make a decision just on nostalgia, but rather on the answer as to whether Michelle can actually skate, and not just jump and spin, but keep up with all the jumping beans who are excelling under the new rules that are a complete disadvantage to someone who has made her mark artistically. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out.

Blog tech

I'm contemplating moving this blog or putting it somewhere password-protected. I don't want to have to do that, but it's getting to a point where I feel I need to protect this part of my life. I've alluded to this before, and it's strange because y'know, it is the INTERNET. Of course it's public and anyone can read.

But I'm getting uncomfortable with RL interfering with my blog life. The RL people who know about my blog, I told them about it, so there's no problem there. I have no problem with perfect strangers reading the blog either. It's the middle ground I feel uncomfortable about -- people I've met in RL, but have never told about the blog, but then they google me and find this blog.

But I'm also lazy, and some of the software I could switch to may include server changes etc., and I'm not so into tech stuff anymore. So chances are, I might not do anything, but if I do, I'll tell you all about it here first.

Link of the Day

I always enjoy Dave Barry's Year in Review and this year's edition was fun as always.

Make some noise

Tonight, as I was busily fighting a war against the Japanese in Civilization III, I heard a loud explosion. Like, right outside of my building loud explosion. Having not seeing today's terror alert color chart (is it orange or red? Does anyone know? Does anyone care?) and knowing how refineries and petrochem plants routinely blow-up here in Sweat Sock City, I did what any thinking girl would do: I kept beating up on the Japanese (not too hard to do, I might add, as I had MUSKETMEN and they were attacking me with PIKEMEN -- essentially soliders with sticks, which as we all know, are no match for GUNS). But after a few minutes, the explosions were getting louder and they weren't moving away from me.

So I roused myself from the computer (and the war I was winning!) and went out onto the balcony. Across the courtyard, other people were coming out onto their balconies. Just beyond my building, firecrackers were lighting up the sky. Obviously, someone somewhere took those flimsy firecracker stalls up on their offer and purchased 1 firecracker and got 12 for free. It was quite beautiful, except for the whole part it not being New Year's Eve or Day even or WHAT ABOUT THE ENTIRE STATE BEING UNDER A FIRE BAN? These were professional grade firecrackers, the type Sweat Sock City shoots off during the Fourth of July for instance. Anyway, I watched for a bit, and then feeling all warm and generous towards humankind, I offered the Japanese a peace treaty, which they gratefully accepted.

Zen

My second New Year's Resolution, in addition to being more patient, is to change how I react to people who drive me nuts. I suppose the two actually go hand-in-hand, as it's one big thing, but in this case I want to approach the situation differently. In the last few months, I've been learning one can't change the way people act and the only thing one can do is to change the way they react to other people.

For instance, if my neighbor plays loud music all the time (he does, but now he at least turns it off around 10 pm), it bugs me but not him, and I can choose to get angry about it, or I can figure out a way to cope with it. Or if someone consistently contacts you when it's convenient for them, rather than keeping in touch with you all the time, it's up to me to come up with a way to deal with it in a way that doesn't make me angry -- such as choosing to be happy to hear from that person and focus on catching up, rather than mulling over the question of "why don't you ever call me when you don't need something?"

Also, because everyone else makes this resolution, I'm going to lose twenty pounds this year. That's the 10 pounds I was supposed to lose in 2005, plus the obligatory 10 I'm going to lose in 2006.