Verbal Attack -- an obnxious job hunter's blog, link courtesy of jemima who has finally broken free of the Man. I guess this is why I never get any response other than "Resume received" emails; I don't ask about vacations/perks/salaries, nor do I insult the recruiter or the company or plague them with a million phone calls. At this point, any response other than the following would be wonderful:

"Thank you for applying to Company X. People like you are the reason why we're successful. If we can find a position that fits your qualifications, then we will call you immediately, but if you aren't the niece of the CEO, then don't wait by the phone. We will be happy to use your resume to line the bird cage for the next six months. By the way, don't respond to this email. If you do, then you're obviously a nimwit, can't follow directions and the entire HR department will point and laugh at you. Thank you for your interest. Sincerely, Recruiter for Company X."