You know, that's what the zen resort needs. An old-fashioned porch, preferably with a swing and/or a rocking chair, and a poolboy to serve ice-cold lemonade.
And trees. Tall, shady trees. Birds, lots of them. And no ants or spiders. I'm not feeling kindly towards critters with more than four appendages at this moment. So no bugs.
I wish the podium idea, as proposed by the Inimitable Miss Barr, would work, but hmmm... we'd have to have a town square or something. And riot police. And that just about kills the image for me. Work with me, people.