Done!


50,300 words! Whoop!

This, that, and the kitchen sink

Someone is seranading me outside of my window. Or at least I think so. He is singing and my windows are open, ergo, he must be seranading me. But unfortunately, he is off-key and drowning out my non-off key music, and so I had to shut the windows on him.

Today, I purchased whole wheat pasta along with the usual egg noodles. I admit, I was attracted to the recipe on the back of the whole wheat pasta box more than anything else and in a fit of laziness I got already oregano/basil/garlic seasoned chopped tomatoes.

I did NaNo today. I'm somewhere around 43,000 words, and it looks like most NaNoers took last week off along with me. I'm on the middle of the third page today.

I haven't gotten much further with the Mary Magdalene fanfiction and am about to ditch Mary in favor of the Alamo. I can't believe Margaret George -- author of the Mary Magdalene book -- would let me down like this but I lost it when Mary's husband accused Mary of being crazy and then chased her out of town with a pitchfork. Okay, maybe the pitchfork part isn't true, but the rest of it read like a bad, bad fanfic (in fact, this scene is very reminscent of the fic jemima blithely calls "The Worst Story Ever"). This is supposed to be my intelligent high-brow literary reading, not more trashy genre stuff. There's plenty of the bad stuff here.

Is it just me or is "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" on all time on Bravo? And it seems cable television is where "Law and Order" goes after wearing out its welcome at NBC (where it is also on all the time -- is there a night when "Law and Order" isn't on on NBC?). It's amazing -- flip through any channel and whoa, "Law and Order" in all of its various permutations. I saw an ep briefly the other night with Claire, played by Jill Hennessey. The less said about Angie Harmon the better, though I'm not necessarily sure acting skill is a real requiremen for that show -- only the ability to look serious and occasionally summon up some righteous fury.

The writing machine is on sabbatical

I'm on day 2 of NaNo respite, which means I've probably fallen off page 2, but it's not a competition anyway, and the last two days, I haven't much felt like writing. As much as I still have more to go and know what I'm doing, I needed a break and I'm eager to come back to this tomorrow, or as early as tonight. Depends on how the day goes. The muse must be rested and eager.

I also realize I'm getting much, much more picky about what I write. I used to write anything at a drop of a hat and these days, I seem to think about ideas, toss them around for a while, but then nine times of out ten, don't follow it up. I'm wondering if that's a sign of burnout or trying to avoid burnout or simply choosing projects that appeal to my style and ideas?

That's not to say I'm not up to challenges, but I seem to be taking longer, don't feel the rush in anything I'm doing and I'm sure that'll change once January rolls around and I'll be like, "Eek!" Though, to be honest, I thought that 'eek!' would have kicked in by now. That hasn't been the case.

I think it helps to have inspiring work around you. I write best when I'm inspired by others. That's not to say I'm not into writing for myself, and sure, I write things down all the time, ideas here and there. But when it actually comes to focus and quality, that's when I need the high standards set by people around me. I love feedback and yesterday, I got three wonderful pieces of FB for some very old stories, and that was great. But I realize more and more that FB isn't a motivator any more.

What motivates me is the story I tell and how I tell it. It's probably one of the reasons why my circulation/profile in general has dropped so low in the last few months. It's not that I don't want people to read, but it's no longer as important to me as writing a story I want to read. I'm spending the time when I ought to be marketing myself thinking and writing. The decision was made unconciously, and occasionally, I'll see a ML and think, "Hmmm, I should join to get my name out there" but then I look at my crowded inbox, realize I'm not really giving FB to people any more and so why sign up for more of the same?

That's not to say I don't appreciate feedback. I do. I keep pretty much every single email I've ever received since 1999. I reread it. I write back to the sender and tell them that I appreciate their comments. I want them to know that it doesn't matter if it's the first note I've received or the hundredth; it's equally valuable and appreciated to me. So along with my own changing motivations and inclinations, the feedback given when someone else reads a story of mine and likes it is simply the cherry on top.

Con te partiro

Astute fans of the One and Only Sarah Brightman will recognize today's subject title. It's also my way of telling all of y'all my tickets to her concert arrived! ::incoherent fangirl squee:: My tickets are just beyond the floor, which is awesome -- I really don't think I could get much closer (I was on the floor, 14th row for Elton John, but that was also a press pass). I did have a momentary heart attack when I got the receipt and it charged me for two tickets, not just one, and I called the box office in a panic. They said it was just a glitch, probably from when the the system rejected my brand spankin' new credit card twice before going through on the third time. A very nice guy named Odney assured me that I was only being charged for one ticket.

The local news did yet another story on insane and crazy people on the internet yesterday. I just feel like grabbing news people and saying, "Okay, okay, we get that there are pedophiles and child molesters lurking in chat rooms, but what about us normal people?" I mean, granted 'normal' isn't quite the word to use for a group of women who can randomly erupt into incoherence and quite-focused behavior upon a sighting of Alan Rickman or go on for hours on whether Margaret George has written Mary Magdalene fanfic. And don't forget our past obsession, the saintliness of one Sir Thomas More. So maybe not your regular coffee shop fodder, but for God's sakes, I wish just once the news would say, "Look! Internet! Normal people! What a concept!" But then again, a group of women who chat endlessly on AIM about things other than picking up children (well, unless the child belongs to the woman) isn't exactly interesting news.

I haven't NaNo'd since yesterday morning. I'm not losing speed, just got home from the class at 9:30 or so last night, and by the time I ate dinner (toast! It's pretty much the only safe thing in my repetoire right now), I didn't feel like getting on the computer. So I plopped in front of the television and watched Avery Brooks narrate Ancient Evidence: Joshua and the Walls of Jericho -- any show that maps out earthquakes over two millennia is an insta-attraction for me (I was really taken with the idea of 'traveling' earthquakes, moving slowly down a faultline, due to pressure points building up). And yes, Avery Brooks was continuing to follow the acting style of his mentor, William Shatner, as he stood in the desert, using that "voice of doom" and "hand gestures of angst" thing he has got going. You'd think Brooks was storming Jericho himself, the way he was going on.

And oh yes, I've added a link to my RSS feed to the side bar. I think my blog update is currently not functioning -- it is rather sketchy that way. Hopefully, it'll come back online. I wouldn't want anyone to be deprived of yours truly for too long.

And, and... Sarah Brightman! January 14!

To whom it may concern

Here are the current NaNo standings. For the record, 500,010 words in 12 days, even given time zone differences, has to be bogus. That's 42,000 words a day, and if you work straight through and only sleep eight hours a night, that's 2,334 words an hour, 38 words per minute. Regardless of what jemima thinks, even I can't keep up that kind of pace.

I'm currently sitting somewhere around 41,000 and am about to need a lawyer. If you specialize in Constitutional law (US, that is), please drop me a line at seemag1@yahoo.com. It's much appreciated. Currently, I'm getting by by writing, "It's against the 14th Amendment!" So please, rescue me from my own lameness.

Not only can you subscribe to receive my blog entries in your email (sign-up to your left on the sidebar), jemima has now created an RSS feed for this blog. Those technically minded among you will know what to do with this information.

Drive by posting

36,213 words! Woo hoo!

That is all.

We lay our hearts wide open

jemima challenged me to finish NaNoing this weekend, but just as I hit my stride, I found about an impromptu gathering of MBAs over at MBA S's new place. And just like in BC/S where I got lost everytime I went to this person's house, I went south instead of north here too and got there late.

So that's just a long way of saying that I lost discipline because of the promise of intellectual gathering and Coke. As in the soda, Coke. Gah. Didn't end up eating at the gathering though as they didn't realize V and I don't eat pepperoni or sausage on pizza, so later, three of us went out to eat and then I came back here to work on NaNo.

I'm currently sitting at 31,176 words.

Can I do 19,000 words in one day? Doubtful. As it is, my characters are already going off in weird tangents and somehow, I coax them back to where they are supposed to be, but it's still freaky when one character gets dumped in a Chinese restaurant and I'm sitting there going, "Huh? When was anyone going to tell me about this development?"

jemima thinks I'm in need of a support group. NaNo Anonymous, she calls it. I'd like to point out that most of the word count is her doing. I don't know what it is with Mod Squad members slogging off their responsibilities and pointing their collective fingers in my direction.

A support group. Hmph.

Due to satellite freeze yesterday, I didn't get to see the beginning of "Survivor" or "Friends", but DirecTV came back to life for the second 30 minutes (but by which time, I'd mostly lost interest in watching television to begin with). But, riddle me this, was anyone else (Bjorn?) as bothered by the vote-off at the end as I was? My favorite person is gone! Wah!

Bird by Bird

Word count: Contrary to popular belief, I'm not done, but am sitting currently at 22,402.

Anne Lamott (the patron saint of NaNo) wrote a book, Bird by Bird, that's supposed to be one of the really good writing books out there. Even the discerning folks over at zendom think so. I'm reading it now concurrently with NaNoing, because, y'know, NaNo requires all possible support along with jemima's refrain, "Another fifty words! You can do it! Go go go!"

I came across this quote in the book, a true vindication for those of who us are not huge planners and tend to ramble on endlessly until we stumble on our plot or when our characters blow themselves out of an airlock in pure misery.

E. L. Doctorow wrote: "writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

Lamott goes on to write: "You don't have to see where you're going, you don't have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet in front of you."

Tomorrow, I shall present to you the very reason for Nanoing. But for now, I must NaNo.

NaNo to You!

The current word count is 19,050, as of this morning. Yes. I'm a total and complete dork. Anyway, nothing like cat vacuuming, and the NaNoWriMo forums are perfect for that. Some of my favorite threads include Egregariously Erroneous Information, Your Worst Line So Far, How to stop a pack of stampeding pengins and Dear anonymous, homicidal, self-loathing protogonist.

1,667 freakin' words

I'm sitting pretty at 12,600 words right now. Yes, I'm surprised too and it's all jemima's fault. The Houston newspaper had an article on NaNo; you can find it here.

My favorite part: Here's the deal: Participants must write a 50,000-word novel during the month of November. That's 1,667 freakin' words a day. Word counts are determined by an online computer that couldn't care less how good, bad or ugly each work is. Quantity trumps quality in NaNoWriMo.

There you have it. The plain, ugly, unvarnished truth. We're not delusional; crazy, yes, but not delusional. We know we're not producing good stuff or even mediocre. We understand there's a reason why March is National Novel Editing Month. We know that 1,667 words/night is a hard quota to make. I didn't make it last year -- I fell about 7,000 words short. That's precisely the reason I'm back this year, even though I know this is possibly one of the most mind-bending, thankless things I've ever done. It's about guts and glory, baby! We're doing it because it's hard; like I said, didn't manage to finish last year and there's no shame in it. But I gave it a go and for that reason, I've have 43,000 words I wouldn't have had otherwise.

NaNo is about the challenge of the human spirit, to know there are people out there doing it with you, other people who are desperately trying to make a go of the novel thing. It's a time to sit down and force discipline into ourselves and just keep on going, come what may. So what if your characters start swapping cookie recipes like mine did last year or randomly burst into the chorus of "Moon River"? That's really not the point and it never has been.

I love reading the forums over at NaNoWriMo and I enjoy seeing what other people have done. For me, it's the perfect time to put aside other writing and work on a story idea that has been knocking around my brain for the last three months. I'm very aware that some of you will never see this year's novel, just like you didn't see last year's novel. But I'm in it for the challenge and the thrill of saying, "I wrote 50,000 words in a month."

There's no shame in admitting you're in it for the word count and not much else.

Is anyone else getting weird invitations to join Yahoogroups? I got one today for a group called 'hook_ups' which is "where the single people meet." Well, obviously the moderater (spammer?) has never been on a Yahoo mailing list before because quite frankly, it's possibly the last place one would go to meet their One True Love. And the name 'hook_up' -- ew. My guess is that these mailing lists are probably just spam lists, where people join thinking one thing and end up getting more spam in their inbox. It's yet another reason why one should just say No! to mailing lists.

Go, go, go!

NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow and so I'm going to be keeping blogging to a minimum over the month of November. I have pain in my left shoulder and typing exacerbates it. It's one of the reasons I haven't been online as much recently and why I've been slow to respond to email. It wouldn't be so bad if my job didn't entail so much typing, but it does, and so something has to give. So I'm still going to do my best to do NaNoWriMo and do the bulk of the writing -- between 4,000 - to 6,000 words over the weekends so I can take it a little more easy during the week (goal of 1,800 words/night). Just under 17 hours left to go!

Seema: The borderline between hope and despair. So now you know.

I'm officially crazy -- I've reregistered for NaNoWriMo. So every night, I will have to write between 1,667 and 2,000 words in order to make the 50,000. Stay tuned to this blog for my eventual breakdown success.

Oh Canada!

This just in. The Rock Paper Scissors Championship (Motto: "Where beer is a sporting accessory") has a new champion: A Canadian named Rob Krueger walked away with about $3,825. Read all about this amazing feat here. So, not only does Canada produce international-level curlers and lawn bowlers, they also now have an RPS champion.

In my continued quest to discover new, exciting sports (see "Extreme Ironing"), I hereby give you the World Rock Paper Scissors Championship. The strategy FAQ is especially entertaining, and please, try to stifle a giggle when it talks about hiring a trainer. Wiggling fingers just don't cut it no more.

I proposed the sport of Extreme Writing to jemima, but she says it lacks spectator appeal. Like ironing and 'throwing' random hand motions has all the excitement and drama of a World Series. While it'll be years before we can get Extreme Writing its own stadium, you can still check out NaNoWriMo which is writing masochism at its best (worst?). So go, be a spectator at the craziest show in the writing world -- will these brave, intrepid (read: crazy) writers make their 50,000 words or not in the month of November? Will they give up precious holidays and shopping days to churn out 1,666 words of gibberish a day? Will they ever be able to bring themselves to look at those 50,000 words ever again? Go, go, go...

Seema round-up

I geeked at the parentals and finally somehow finagled a technician to come to the house on Wednesday to replace the motherboard free of charge even though their computer is no longer under warranty. Go me.

My uncle gave me a new lamp and I've set it up here in the living room. It looks very nice on the glass coffee table and it's only a 25-watt bulb, so the light is very gentle and nice. It may make a nice night light -- I do need one since I usually get up about once a night.

Also, it's cold here. For those of you in the North laughing at me, I'd like to point out that in Vermont, I had polar fleece. So anyway, the mercury dropping below fifty today necessitates a blanket on the bed; the single flannel sheet just won't cut it.

Speaking of being spammed...

Someone at my office -- well, one of them, there are many branches/divisions -- put together a list of people to send a greeting card to for this holiday and so I was pleasantly surprised to get one yesterday evening. This morning I came into to find some 20 messages all from people I don't know, wishing all a happy holiday plus a few asking what the hey as they do not celebrate this holiday; one belonged to the Church of Scotland (I didn't know Scotland had a church separate from that of England), and there were also a Jew and a Catholic. Plus, rather ashamedly, due to that fact that this is a publishing company, the grammar/spelling/punctuation on some of these responses were downright embarassing. Especially when being sent to people the senders don't even know.

The initial sentiment was nice, but man, now it's starting to feel like a fannish ML.

jemima thinks I'm nuts for deleting mail unseen, but I gotta draw the line somewhere. And so, today unbound is no longer a valid email address for me. Same thing applies as info, sales, and webmaster. This morning, I only had one spam message in the TSEA (tm) and it was marked junk and so was appropriately filtered. So yes, I'm a happy bunny today. My yahoo email is beyond hope, but at least I can excercise some control over the TSEA.

The Marlins took game five. No extra innings needed. Urbina, no matter what Williams says about him, is da bomb.

My newly found geekiness is wonderful and filtering beautifully. Farewell, dear Nigerians, farewell.

That is all.

Geekiness

I had it with spam in Top Sekrit Email Addy (tm) so I finally played around with some configurations on the mail server and SpamAssasin. Filtering has now been enabled on the inbox. The email will be flagged and *** JUNK *** will be put into the subject-line and then it'll be trashed, but I'll still be able to check out the mail and see if it's something I need to read. Right now, I've got SpamAssasin set at the default level 3, but if this deluge continues, I may raise the level and risk 'losing' some valid emails.

In addition, I also have three new mail recipes that will cause some emails to be deleted automatically. Since we're talking domain-level, any email sent to info, webmaster or sales will be automatically deleted without me even seeing it or without chance of retrieval. I don't think anyone here sends email to those addies, but just a head's up in case you feel the need to send me email at either of those addresses.

Finally, I've banned some domains -- specifically that stupid Italian Dance Grand Prix and BharathGreetings -- from sending me email. Both organizations got a hold of my TSEA and send me regular updates and emails, but with no way to unsub. Color me annoyed. So if any of you send me a BharathGreeting, it will bounce and I will never see it.

And while I'm glad to see Congress getting along for once, I don't have high hopes for this spam bill making much of a difference.

***

I watched the World Series last night. Right down to the heart-poundingly exciting last inning. Bjorn, feel free to pick your jaw up off the ground now.

That is all.

Yo, we single people have rights too. Thanks to Bjorn for the link.

PSA

I may be changing my Top Sekrit Email address soon as I've been getting more spam than usual. Those of you who do have the Top Sekrit Email address will be informed of the switch if and when I make it.

Burn baby burn

"Actually, my quads feel fine."

This was me, in a moment of delusion. I got home from work tonight in time to make the 6 pm circuit training class held on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the gym. The complex hired a trainer to lead the class; he's got a dreamy Australian accent -- added attraction. At any rate, I went to this one-hour class today and it reminded me a lot of the muscle-burning abs and gluts and body sculpting classes (motto: when you stop waving, your arm should stop as well) in the Big City to the Northwest, pre-MBA. What I learned in today's class is that 30 minutes of cardio does not equal strength and while I was still going strong on cardio during the whole time, the strength excercises were murder. But man, I forgot how much I enjoy the burn.

The quote from above came in a moment of sheer desperation. We had just finished lunges and squats and then the trainer (all cuteness and Australian accent having lost their charm by this time) said that we should line up against the wall and basically just as if we were in a chair but without the chair. First minute, I was fine. Then came more lunges and squats. And then another minute of the 'sitting'. Trainer adopted me as his special needs student this week and chose to 'sit' next to me. He leaned over and said, "Are your legs shaking yet?"

Through gritted teeth, I said, "Actually, my quads feel fine."

Which was mostly true. My legs are pretty strong and I can hold my own with lunges, squats, etc. It's the push-ups that do me in. I've never been really able to do push-ups, not even in peak physical condition due to my weak right wrist which tends to swell and give out when forced to perform any work more strenuous than lifting a coffee mug. So you can imagine just how embarassing tonight was. I used to sit push ups out in my aerobics classes and do bench presses or arm curls instead. But I gave it a shot.

Anyway, my muscles are reverbrating atm and I really hope my schedule allows me to attend more of these. I was always grateful for my Mondays off when I worked for Very Large Insurance Company as I could go to a morning body sculpting class with this impossibly cheerful instructor ("Lower, lower, lower, now hold, hold, hold, hold..."). I also met some cool people, including a French guy and we had a very nice conversation half in English and half in French. He spoke a little too quickly for me at times, but I also picked up a couple new words, and that's always a plus.

I will address the earlier post (see below, the 1:46 pm post from earlier today) at another time. I've got more to say on the subject, but I've got gather my thoughts when I'm more, y'know, coherent.

I haven't got time to respond to jemima's recent fandom in retrospect post although I admit to being one of the BOFQs ("Bitter Old Fic Queens") she is talking about. I'm all about being marginalized these days. Fandom takes too much time, and man, just way much more effort to go BNF ("Big Name Fan") than in the past (and BNFdom isn't all that it's cracked up to be -- say you're retired and suddenly, you are once again no one; on the positive side, this also means less pressure to write fic other people want to read. I personally got into fandom to write stories I wanted to read. The shift from me to you isn't all that it's cracked up to be).

Maybe I'm just nostalgic for the good ol' days and it was just as painful, unrewarding and seamy as jemima says it is today. In other words, the rose-colored glasses are off, and we BOFQs seem to have a high threshold for not only stupidity, but also for squickiness. It's no surprise the RL world thinks we're crazy when twincest and pretty naked boys -- not good old gen fic -- is what's popular, though not necessarily good.

News round-up

In an August survey of Yahoo! users, 77 percent said they would rather clean a toilet than sort through the junk e-mail in their inbox. Article.

Apple Computer Inc. said that Windows computer users had downloaded its iTunes digital jukebox software and bought more than 1 million songs at a cost of 99 cents each from its online music store since their launch for Windows last Thursday. Article.

Man survives plunge over Niagra Falls. Without protective gear. Apparently, he was smiling and just jumped into the water and whoosh, there he went. Crazy.

And this is what happens when "The Next Joe Millionaire" is considered quality television.

And ladies? The men are here.

Every weekend, they have an infomercial here for a Ronco Rotisserie Oven that is bigger than a bread box. You may have seen this infomercial -- the audience routinely yells out "Set it and forget it!" Anyway, I watch this infomercial nearly every week. And here's the odd thing: it literally grosses me out and yet I still watch it.

There's something about meat on a spit that I just really, really, really don't like. When I was in Munich last summer, I saw lamb revolving on a spit less than 5 feet from the busy street and I was completely grossed out. Which is odd, because if people are eating it in front of me, it doesn't bother me at all. But put meat on a spit, twirl it around and add an apple on top for decoration and I am ready to head to the next restaurant.

So it's odd that I even watch this infomercial, with the people sticking meat on to spits every which way. From pork to beef, from ham to lobster, no animal is safe from "set it and forget it." To add insult to injury, the people who invented the rotisserie oven also have this crazy scary needle thing (the one with the yellow handle) that "injects flavor" into the meat, and they keep stabbing at the poor thing with the needle, in which they have put such bizarre concoctions as olives, sundried tomatoes and garlic. So when you cut the meat, there is a little section running through it with these thingies in it.

Anyway, no idea why I watch these infomercial because I'm obviously not going to buy it, but I'm always impressed at the amount of enthusiasm people can muster up for these kinds of things once they've been bribed placed in a studio audience.

Email update: Working on it.

I gacked this link from Sheetal (see her blog in the sidebar): Medil Global Journalism Blog. I just found it interesting and am jealous of the wit and wisdom going on there. Reading blogs like this just reminds me I am really just a hack.

I didn't know what was so cool about Rupert on Survivor until yesterday. Honestly, he kind of has that caveman look going on and it doesn't help that these survivors are the least stylish group since Richard Hatch went buff; Rupert runs around in tie-dyed t-shirt and some kind of sack around his waist. But. Anyway. Last night, Rupert totally rocked. Not only did he helped Morgan win the reward challenge, but then he went back to Drake without sharing in the challenge. He gave up a shower! Soap! Shampoo! He knew how to play it, that's for sure.

And then when it came time for Morgan to loot Drake, Rupert totally took charge. He said he knew Morgan could take whatever, but he wanted them to take food. So he gave them several bowls of rice. Totally sweet, but smart too. Drake didn't lose any of their luxuries, but they still managed to conjure up goodwill but giving Morgan something they truly needed.

I didn't catch any of the playoff games last night, but Boston? I heard your cry of despair from over here. Better luck next year.

Many of you know I lack the talent to iron in normal conditions so obviously, Extreme Ironing is not the sport for me. More information here.

And I've been remiss in welcoming new subscribers to this blog! Nice to have you here and hopefully you find it enjoyable.

I was looking for a copy of "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien to link here because the story got me in the same way that Hemingway's "Hills Like White Elephants" did and instead discovered a site where I could get copies of essays about the story for free or $14.95. Color me boggled. First, how insanely stupid are students to do this? Yes, I know sometimes you hit a brick wall when it comes to literary interpretation -- I know all about this, I'm a business major, for goodness' sake; I wouldn't know a metaphor from a simile if it hit me on the nose.

But anyway, if you're going to cheat, you should at least do it right and after reading the FAQ, I came to the conclusion you should never buy a composition from a site tlacking a grasp of English language fundamentals. See here: Unlike other essay websites, 123HelpMe does not profit from selling essays to students! In truth, we loose money almost every month of the year!

This question from the FAQ cracks me up:

Can 123HelpMe remove an essay from the website?

Yes, we can! We can remove any Red or Yellow essay from the website for 30 days. Since we need to pay someone to manually remove the essay, we are forced to charge $5 for this service. Send payment via Paypal to orders@123HelpMe.com Indicate the number and title of the essay in the Paypal message box.

I found MBA Essays as well. So all of that time I spent honing and writing my three essays first for the MBA program and then second, for the International Affairs program?

But really kids, don't try this at home.

ps. After all that, I didn't find an online copy of this story, but it is available in short story collections and I highly recommend it if you haven't read it. It's a fantastic story about Vietnam and a terrific way of 'showing not telling' character using a unique writing technique.

I've slowly started to catch up on my inbox. I'm now only about a week behind -- I answered an email from last Monday today, so at this rate, I should be all caught up by the end of the week. Again, very sorry.

And just for Bjorn: ICE CREAM!

Preaching to the choir

Whoo hoo! Everyone get out their confetti, party hats and bugle horns -- it's Marriage Protection Week. Go there to find out why 'marriage' is endangered and what you can do to make sure that this most holy and sacred of institutions remains solely between a man and woman.

I'm amused. Can you tell?

Some choice bits from articles linked:

Talking Points on Marriage

But even childless marriages are a social anchor for children, who observe adults as role models. Besides, childless couples can be “surprised” by an unexpected pregnancy, and they can adopt, giving a child a mother-and-father-based family.

That's if a childless couple actually wants a child; if no, then the 'surprise' won't really be that surprising.

Other groups, such as bisexuals and polygamists, will demand the right to redefine marriage to suit their own proclivities. Once the standard of one-man, one-woman marriage is broken, there is no logical stopping point.

Uh oh.... now I'm scared. Polygamists, bisexuals and gays, oh my!

As society rewards homosexual behavior, more young people will be encouraged to experiment and more will be discouraged from overcoming homosexual desires.

I had to stop right here and put my drink away to keep from spewing all over my keyboard. 'Overcoming homosexual desires'? Please. Continuing on:

Homosexual relationships, which usually lack both permanence and fidelity, are unlikely to change to fit the traditional model of lifelong, faithful marriage.

The stupidity and ignorance of the above sentence speaks for itself.

Then this article is about Questions and Answers: What's Wrong With Letting Same-Sex Couples "Marry?"

I'll just let the arrogance of that article speak for itself (but be warned: it's really, really, really infuriating and I personally just want to smack the author around -- especially when the end of the article becomes an attack of gays and lesbians. I don't usually go around calling people 'idiots' but this author deserve to be so called).

To quote a really cool quote I saw in my blog rounds the other day: If you've got a problem with gay marriage, don't marry a gay person.

I stole this link from jemima, because it's a good one: what's a narrative?. At some point, I want to gather my thoughts on clarity in writing, but today is not that day since I need to think on it a bit more.

Meeting of doom wasn't quite as "finality doomed" (kudos to anyone who can remember where this came from :-)) as previously thought and source of concern has been addressed, action plan created, and we'll see what happens. More in chats o' doom.

Modly beings, how does chat o'doom sound for this weekend? Sunday night, most probably -- say starting at 9 pm my time? (to make allowance for the "Alias" fans amongst us and for Jemima the non-lush who will be busy celebrating Columbus Day doing something other than shopping).

Impending doom

We're having a meeting today. For those of you who know the events of the last few days, you know it's not been an easy week and until yesterday, hadn't even taken lunch in order to keep up. So yeah, we're having a meeting in the next hour or so and I've got this rock-hard knot in my stomach; I wonder how much stress had to do with my upset stomach and headache yesterday (I actually blame the food at the restaurant Sarah and I went to Wednesday night, but, I wouldn't discount this possibility yet). There was Yet Another Incident (tm) at the end of work yesterday and it was caught, fixed, but my guess is that it was the final nail in the coffin.

I really, really, really hope I'm just being overanxious, as de rigor, and that this is just a debrief and not concerning other people. I guess I'll find out when we have this meeting, huh?

Seema report

I didn't get online last night as planned due to not feeling well. Let me tell you, getting sick at work? Not the way to go. Anyway, I did make it to the restroom before, y'know, it was a real disaster :-) Plus we had six tornadoes tear through here. Honestly, it wa a scary, scary lookin' day all the live-long day. So this is just a short way of saying I haven't really gone through email and my goal is to get caught up this weekend. Also, my Top Sekrit Real Addy has been discovered by spammers -- or rather, one of my addies has been -- so now I'm downloading even more spam than usual. Again. Ant hill in West Texas. Problem solved.

Sarah is in town for work this week, so she spent the night and we were able to catch up. We had dinner late last night, after the writing class, and then she followed me back here. We were discussing being "morning people" and neither of us are, but I thought it was interesting because when I say "morning person," I mean someone who is cranky and requires time to wake up. This is why, despite not being a morning person, I usually wake up by 7 am every morning (also, the caffeine addiction is a major factor -- caffeine heachaches blow big time) and then spend the next 3 hours waking up and getting un-cranky.

Do I owe you an email? Most probably yes. ::hangs head:: I have 12 unread emails in my Top Sekrit Real Addy and I can't even begin to tell you what's going on with the regular email addy, other then I finally responded yesterday to a thoughtful email written to me probably in the beginning of September. Gah. I'm so awful. How do you people put up with me?

I'll be back online tonight and despite having an invitation for this weekend, I'll probably just stay home. I need to do some cooking, catch up on email, find a book called "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien and do my writing assignment for next week. It's should be a listing of a very trivial event of the day -- I'm not sure I understand the assignment without reading the story in question, but already I've decided the three year old ("I'm small now, but when I'm four, I'm going to be big, right?" "No, sweetie, when you're ten, you'll be big then. Okay?" "Yeah...") will be the focus of the story because it has to be slightly comedic and there's nothing funnier than a three-year old cuddling up to her still-sleeping brother and then claiming he kicked her awake :-)

I was watching the "Today" show this morning and they were featuring little vignettes of people saying who they had voted for in the California recall and why. One woman said she'd voted "for the movie star, what is his name?" three minutes after casting her ballot and another said she'd chosen Schwarzenegger because he would get results. This isn't a movie and no one has scripted the end of this chapter in California history. But I agree with the woman on at least the star-quality aspect of getting results: when one carries a bazooka, one will get results.

The idea of a Republican governor in California is scary. Either way, for Bush, this was a win-win situation. Gray Davis stays and the president campaigns against Davis and gets his brownie points that way. Now with a Republican governor, it might be easier to deliver up California to the Republicans. Of course, it's not like Jeb Bush had an easy time of it in Florida so perhaps handing California to Bush isn't a foregone conclusion. But then again, Schwarzenegger is a moderate Republican, so perhaps it's not all bad.

So. Schwarzenegger. Ain't America great.

Next question: when can we recall the President? Please don't tell me we have to wait until 2004. If Californians can get rid of their governor in less than six months, we ought to have a similar national referendum.

Window washing on a skyscraper? Got to be the worst job ever. I'm watching our window washers now doing our windows. We're on the 38th floor. There are 12 floors above us, 37 below us. In other words, a long, long, long way down. And we're not even the tallest building downtown. Man. How they have the stomach for that kind of heart-in-throat kind of work is amazing.

When it rains, it pours

My car died again this morning. It's either a battery or an alternator problem. Luckily, a nice couple was outside at the same time I discovered this and I asked them for a jump. But man. Talk about timing. I wanted to get to work early today because I leave early for my class so why cut the day any shorter than I already have? Plus, I'm taking 1/2 day on Monday and a little longer than usual lunch on Friday. Why push my luck, right? Luckily, I still beat everyone in this morning. I was 15 minutes late, but everyone else was later. So, it all worked out. The car will be going to the mechanic this weekend (car is in the parking garage so it doesn't know yet that it's going to the doctor) and I'll figure out exactly what the problem is. But gosh, it would happen when I have about 80 million other things on my mind.

Yo, I've been remiss in spreading the word, but jemima's Mac is on its way. Currently, it's sightseeing in Taiwan, and should shortly make the swim across the Pacific and then cross-country to jemima's East Coast abode. But shhh... the old Mac doesn't know the new Mac is on its way. Check out jemima's blog (link in sidebar) for all the latest on the Arrival of the New Mac.

Also, my friends Andrew and Elizabeth are expecting a baby any day now. Check out their blog here.

Probably only of interest to Sarah, but a RL friend, Sheetal, is doing a journalism internship in New Zealand. You can find her blog here.

Census Finds Many More Lacking Health Insurance.

No matter how much time has passed since you've last been to the salon, inevitably whoever is working on you will say something like, "Been long time, huh?" I could have come in two days ago and they would say, "It's been too long since you've have your eyebrows taken care of."

Not only that, whoever worked on you last? Complete moron. Should have been reported to the Cosmetology Institute already for bad, bad, bad eyebrow work. You can always hear the horror in the beautician's voice when they realize just how long you've been running around with those awful eyebrows in public:

"Who did that to your eyebrows? And when was this done? Two months ago? This is terrible! Terrible! You should always come to me! Tsk, tsk. I don't know if I can fix this. Okay, I do my best, but from now on, you come to me and only me."

Same thing with hair. Now, I'm all about the $4.99 haircuts -- have had two of them in the last 6 months and I honestly see no difference between that and the haircuts I've paid $45-$60 for (yes, yes, I'm ashamed but now, now I'm reformed!). But my favorite moment was when the person who had given me my previous haircut took a look at my now shaggy locks and said, "Whoever did this doesn't know your hair type. I know it. You should come to me from now on and no one else. Call me at home if you have an emergency."

Do people really have hair emergencies? My hair emergencies are solved by a rubberband, a barrette, and two bobby pins.

In no universe -- alternate, mirror, or otherwise -- can I even fathom calling a hairdresser at home for an emergency. How would that phone call go?

"My hair... it just-- it just collapsed! I think it had a humidity attack! Help!"

I'm now having visions of David (pompous hairdresser who insists he's the best guy for the job but invariably messes it up to the point that me, a person who really isn't picky about what she looks like, usually has to go back to the salon for a do-over) driving up in his SUV with some kind of red-blue-white siren going on, screaming, "I've got a hair emergency! Let me through!"

Okay, so I'm amused. I now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

Two can play this game

Le jeu de cartes du régime Bush: Les 52 plus dangereux dignitaires américains .

A French guy has turned tables on the US and spoofed the card deck used to identify and capture the more important people in the Iraqi regime and created one with the most dangerous Americans.

The site says not only did Bush steal the election, but is also leading the conservative revolution to destroy the United States. The crimes against Bush are quite extensive: George W. Bush s'est emparé du pouvoir avec la complicité de la Cour suprême et malgré les suffrages des électeurs ; un système de surveillance de chaque citoyen a été mis en place avec l'USA Patriot Act ; les militaires ont été autorisés à intervenir dans la vie politique intérieure ; un appareil de propagande a été constitué ; le pays a renoncé au droit des peuples à disposer d'eux-mêmes et s'est engagé dans des campagnes coloniales en Afghanistan et en Irak.

While I think the above paragraph is a little over the top, I don't disagree that Bush stole the election with the help of the Supreme Court and that under his command, the United State has engaged in colonial imperialism.

I haven't got time to translate the rest of what's going on, but some of the faces on the cards are Condeleeza Rice, Colin Powell and Donald Rumsfield. More later, if I get a chance to translate. Thanks to Liz Logan for the head's up.

Why we hate Bush.

Stoning sentence overthrown. What took so long?

If I owe you email, am very sorry. I'm way behind. I blame the Microsoft virus thingy for clogging up my inbox and generally making me allergic. Now that the stories are in the mail, I'm going to slowly get caught up on all of the email I've ignored for the last three days.

The person who wrote the 'Microsoft Internet Patch' virus thingy? My newest least favorite person on the planet. This morning, my Yahoo! inbox was 110 percent full -- and I had cleaned it out to about 70 percent full yesterday night around 11 pm. I'm thinking a sand hill in West Texas and fire ants might be too good for virus writers.

The printers never called me when they were finished so around 2 pm, I phoned them and said, "Is my order ready?" And they said, "What your name?" I told them and they said, "You're the one with the book, right?"

:-)

The completed manuscripts look beautiful. Really. I carried them so carefully back up to my desk and laid them down ever so gently. Then there was some anxiety in putting them in the car, but put the jumper cable box on top of the pages and it was all good.

The .htaccess file my brother provided me (see link below) works beautifully. Jemima has been testing the script for me and so far it works beautifully. Between this and the robots.txt, I think I'm pretty well-set now against bandwidth thieves (who rank up there with people who write viruses -- gah. Get a hobby already, people! Oh wait...).

I saw Jhumpa Lahiri today and got my copy of "Interpreter of Maladies" signed. I have some thoughts about Ms. Lahiri's book reading and comments afterward, but am currently too tired to write about it coherently. And since tomorrow is another day, I'll see you then.

Things done before 9 am today

• robots.txt written and uploaded
  
• disk with all SNW files dropped off at the printer's
  
• read up on new solution discovered by the brother to prevent bandwidth theft
  

Due to two instances of bandwidth theft -- one confirmed, the other suspected -- I'm looking for a tutorial on how to write a robots.txt file to keep 'bots away. The confirmed theft was from a directory which my webhost doesn't allow for displaying as it lacks an index page, but if you google for the picture, it shows up. The whole situation preplexes me because the picture was something I'd created for one of Rocky's stories and so basically, someone is using this bookcover as their sig file.

Since I'm not sure whether I can ban direct linking images the way free servers like Geocities have (somehow, from SaRa's recent experiences, I don't think it's something that can be done, but I've got queries out to confirm), I've decided to do the next best thing, which is to prevent google and other search engines from indexing my images. I'm also contemplating disabling right-click -- I don't mind if people save my images to their hard drive (well, I mind with this one, because it took me quite a while to make it and it was a gift to Rocky and not intended for anyone else's use), but right -click also gives the option to copy link location; I use it plenty myself.

Among the articles I found on robots.txt was this one which claims writing such a file is tricky unless one buys this company's software. I was especially amused because it looks like that article is on a link farm and the company's real site has a proper (if not slightly confused) tutorial on robots.txt here. The article here is less wishy-washy. Anyway, I'll probably hit jemima up for help just to make sure I've done it properly.

All manuscripts have been formatted and transferred to disk; this is so I no longer look at any of the stories because I'm a compulsive editor and I will continue to make changes until it's printed. Well, kids, stick a fork in me, I'm done!

Now, I just need to deliver to Kinko's and get this printed. I'll be so glad when this is all over. I was up until 3 am on Saturday working on the third draft and Liz was kind enough to look over the fourth and mostly final draft for typos (Seema's editing process: take old typos out, put new ones in).

I really, really, really wish people would refrain from TMI in their blogs. I mean, seriously. So many things written about that could be just filed under "Did not need to know." Especially the Earth Mother stuff? Did. Not. Need. To. Know.

That is all.

Editors are wonderful, wonderful people. Especially when they are willing to stay up all night with you to make sure the final draft gets done on time and with minimal trauma.

Alex Voy, if you're reading this, can you please drop me an email at seemag1@yahoo.com? Thanks!

Bill Maher has a blog.

SNW Update

I'm sending three stories in. Two are complete -- just need a final look-over -- and I'm still working furiously on the third. I plan to mail these out on Monday morning at the very latest in order to get them to Pocketbooks by the October 1 deadline. So I'm way behind on email and other type stuff just because of the amount of writing and editing involved. I think I've got a total of 60 pages written so far. I'll be breathing a big sigh of relief (exhaustion?) once these babies are mailed on Monday.

Hello, Pot? This is Kettle

"[France was] noncooperative and arrogant then," before the war, "and they are again noncooperative and arrogant," [House Administration Committee Chairman Bob Ney, R-Ohio] Ney said. "I haven't seen a huge change."

Full article here.

Ready or not

I have received my emergency preparedness kit from Big Publishing Company. As I may have mentioned in the past, we're on the 38th floor of a 50-storey building in the downtown of a Very Big City. In the event of an emergency, I am to strap on the orange fanny pack and make a run for it. This might also be a good time to note that while the stairwell doors open from our side, once you're in the stairwell, you can't get out.

So, in this orange fanny pack, there is:

• A face mask
  
• Eye goggles
  
• A thermal blanket (it looks like aluminum foil to me)
  
• Two antiseptic towelettes
  
• One antibacterial gel pack
  
• One flashlight
  
• One whistle
  
• One bottle of water

Did I mention it's all packed in this ultra day-glow fanny pack? I feel very safe now.

I came back from the beach to find out J Lo and Ben split. Is anyone surprised?

The beach was fantabulous. The water was warm and the waves were large, so it was a lot of fun. I finally found what happens if you hang out in the hot tub for more than 15 minutes -- you get dizzy and exhausted. Three of us sat in the spa for something like an hour. Getting out was... interesting. Also, there were dolphins. You had to take a ferry over the island and there were dolphins in the water. They didn't leap all of the way out of the water, unfortunately, but you could see the little curve of back and the tail fins, etc. It was nice.

Going back to work after such a weekend is going to be hard.

Blogger has gone completely free and we've got all new features gratis. I especially like the option to change time & date, and also the draft feature. I'm sure there are other things to explore, but I can no longer procrastinate. I'm going to the beach for the weekend and I need, need, need to get a draft of the SNW story to jemima, Liz and Rocky either tonight or first thing in the morning. Actually, I'm thinking it's now or Sunday night.

A day without blogging is curiously berefit. I would think of things during the day and say, "I should blog that," but because 9/11 is a blogging 'miss' for me, none of those things will appear here.

Last year, the blog had a 72-hour 'silence' around 9/11. This year, it was just 36-hours. I chose to not update the blog on 9/11 because what is there to say? Being funny or pointing out links or ranting/whining on 9/11 just doesn't work. It's hollow and simply doesn't feel right. I don't want to talk about 9/11 either. I said all I've had to say on it on the days immediately following this horrific tragedy and those journal entries are immortalized in the September 2001 archive or on my 9/11 site. So, for that reason, I said nothing at all.

I have no idea how long blog 'silence' will apply to 9/11. There are tons and tons of horrible events throughout history and I don't mark those. Already, the memorial services on 9/11 were so much more low-key and compartmentalized than they were last year. Over time, memory fades and the ragged edges of pain heal over. There'll be a time when 9/11 is just as distant to some as Pearl Harbor has grown to be.

But for now, the 9/11 blackout will continue annually.

9/11 Memorial Site.


Blog Rerun: September 2001

I honestly cannot wait for J. Lo and Ben Affleck ("Bennifer" to those in the know) to get married already simply so the media will stop talking about these two. Who cares already? The woman has been married twice before (the cynic in me suspects each wedding is derived from a need of publicity, rather than love/honor/loyalty/committment etc), produces nothing but mediocre movies (if that) and he hasn't had a decent movie since "Good Will Hunting" and previously was best known as Gwyneth Paltrow's significant other. 60 Minutes doesn't care, most of the online people who I speak to don't care (and trust me, if you're ever going to meet people 'into' celebs, we fannish fans got that market covered), so who out there in Middle America is demanding this 24/7 coverage? Please, please, please, make it go away.

Celebratory

Yo, but comments are back! Celebrate by commenting. Or not. However the spirit moves you, but the option now exists.

Your links of the day, courtesy of of one Very Weird State:

Man ships himself to Texas

Governor 'Hair' calls a third legislative session because the state has got nothing better else to spend its money on.

Last's night nightmare er, dream

I was suddenly back in First Year, surrounded by books and the 50-70 pages a night we'd have to read per class (And Dr. Z! Remember Dr. Z and his 100 pages! Even now my brain is staggering under the weight of memory!). I just remember reading as quickly as possible (trying desperately not to catnap in between pages -- slows it down, y' know -- jotting notes down and going to class thinking, "Please, please don't call on me, I can't remember anything about what last night's reading assignment.") Anyway, in my dream, there were lots of books, all of them $100+ and those packets from Copy Corner and all of them were screaming at me, "Read me now!" I didn't necessarily think at the time I was absorbing anything because we were reading so much and so quickly, but every now and then, I'll get a flash of something -- something that we'd read or just a snippet of information and I'll get all puffed-chested and proud.

In retrospect, the MBA is all a blur -- this swift, blue-read-yellow caped blur, maybe. There are moments I do remember: Dr. S's 5-hour long accounting final, those back-to-back presentations, those finance cases from heck (whatdya mean I gotta use the CI to figure out what a dollar was worth 20 years ago?), group projects from heck (never helps when most of your teammates won't talk to each other), and Dr. C's socratic method of "So I didn't call on you for the question you wanted to answer, but here's another from left field just for you and because I like you today, how about you talk for the next 15 minutes because I'm just going to keep asking questions until you keel over because that's how they do it at Harvard and we're just as good as Harvard" (well, no, but the dream of Harvard certainly inspired him). I remember really, really long days starting at 6 and ending after midnight. And perpetual crabbiness. Especially when it rained and we all had to walk through that lake pooling right outside of Wehner. There is nothing more miserable than spending an entire day in wet jeans and sneakers.

But... it's done. It's over. We did it (::high fives R and V::) and it's really about breaking it down into chunks, not getting overwhelmed by sheer volume or other RL things going on, and taking the time to just have some quiet moments to oneself and letting other not-so-important things go. That first year was an incredible challenge and honestly, my brain and people skills never had to work so hard. Anything else these days seems like cakewalk. Now I realize, that was probably the program was really about. It's not just about two years more of theoretical and practical work; it's about a whole lot more. Any lessons learned that's less than that misses the point.

Updates/uproar/upshot: I'm now taking a class on Wednesday nights from 6 to 9 pm. It should be good and starts tomorrow. Also, I'll be spending the next few days furiously polishing the SNW story so I can send it off either Friday night or Saturday morning for an edit. Right now, it's an unmitigated mess and it's going to take a lot of work to get it in shape. I guess that's what I get for waiting until the very last minute. Allegedly, comments should be coming back today (because I know all of y'all are just clamoring to leave lots of comments ::grin::).

I've spent the weekend listening to Yanni. Yes, I like Yanni. A lot. My favorite piece by him is called "Reflections of Passion" and it really fits the title. What I love about it is the way the music starts out andante, so soft, tremulous and tentative -- there is, at first, no indication of what it is to come -- and then slowly builds into a sweeping crescendo, but all the while, keeping the overall musical theme, with no one instrument overpowering the piano; for once, the orchestra is perfectly complementary. The music slowly builds itself down and it's light, delicate, not at all heavy-handed. In the background, there's the languid bassoon, rather a respite from the previous grandeur. This is why this song works for me, because its structure is so perfect -- building up slowly, pulling the listener in more and more as the music 'gains' momentum, and then the gradual introduction of other elements until you have the full-fledged sweep. It's really, really beautiful, and if you can get your hands on this particular piece, I recommend it.

In Stupid!Seema news, I was at the grocery store this weekend. I really, really should have stopped in the pharmacy aisle. I hear drugs are a good thing when one is hacking up a lung.

Link of the Day

Meet Alfred Meneze. Y'know, just in case you were feeling a bit guilty about the time you spend online and all of the hobbies you could be developing instead. Let Alfred be an inspiration to us all. Today's link kindly provided by Wilkinson.

This and that

Got an email about our high school reunion today. How scary is that? I don't plan on going of course, though it comes next June which is about the time when I traipse up north for my yearly visit to the Boston area and it would be nice to swing into Burlington and see what the place looks like after all of these years. But the price being having to spend time with people whom I went to high school with? I dunno. The person organizing it though is a very nice person and I always got along with her, it's just the idea of a high school reunion... ::shudder::

Tech news: apparently blog update is working again so you can receive posts from this blog directly in your inbox by signing up using the form to your left. However, the comments are still down; the server they're housed on apparently went down over the Labor Day weekend and they should have been back by today, but alas, such was not the case.

Spammer update: Nothing, nada, zip. I think this little bit of fun has run its course. I'd push it a bit more and spam 'her' some more, but the SNW is right around the corner and what have I done? Nothing, nada, zip. I'm still not feeling well tonight, so I'm going to call it an early night and hopefully get an second wind tomorrow and make some headway on SNW.

That is all.

Seema's Walk

Music for the journey home provided by the Inimitable Miss Barr. So it was me, Tori and the wide open road, black asphalt rushing up to meet the sky. Days like this, with the blue-gray clouds rolling in, the shimmer through of light, the dark green of fields and trees, are best for driving. I noticed C----- for the first time. It's one of those towns built around a gas station and a country general store; you blink and you miss it. Most people don't even realize the speed changes from 70 mph to 55 at that point; they are flying through, not stopping to see the green sign which signifies the town limits, proudly proclaiming a population of 288. A little further, there is a billboard -- white with black lettering -- that announces in addition to 288 inhabitants, C------ also has food, drink, gas, museum and shops.

C----- is like every other town between here and there. The shops are colonial or western in style, run-down, and most have a "closed" sign on the front door. The blinds in the windows are bent out of shape, broken on occasion, and the building sags from the burden of housing beaten up rocking chairs and scarred dining room tables; occasionally, in the middle of the junk, you'll find a treasure, a poster from the 1940s or a genuine Louis Quinze chair. In towns like this, 'antique' simply means 'old.' As you go further down the road, you see the gas pumps resemble aliens; there's no such thing as pay-at-the-pump. There are different nozzles for different grades and the parking lot is kicked up with pot-holes and weeds. All 288 residents are in perpetual hiding.

There is a post office, with a broken down front porch. A faded American flag hangs limply. There is a Mexican restaurant. In five years of driving this highway, I've never seen anyone pull into the parking lot. There is a taxidermist too. A broken down truck adorns the front yard of a one-storey white clapboard house. The next door neighbor has a collection of tractors and that house is in need of serious paint; once it was an orange, now it's a pink. A little further away, the broken down remains of the Jezebel Saloon. The train tracks are a permanent home to Union Pacific boxcars.

There is a sign thanking you for visiting C------ and asks you to come again.

Spamming continued

I was supposed to harass the spammer again last night, but my Own Personal Blackout (tm) prevented me from doing so (long story short: the electricity company turned off my power by accident last night and as of this morning, I still don't have electricity. I tell you, sitting in the dark gets old really, really, really fast and reading with a flashlight? Not as cool or covert as you might think. And oh yes, the air in this city does not move, so opening windows didn't help either. And, ::gasp:: no coffee this morning -- so I ended up coming in to work very very early because dude, no coffee and no AC. Allegedly, power should be coming back online today but I shall harass the electric company in the meantime. I fear for the food in my refrigerator -- please include my milk, eggs, and cheese in your thoughts).

That being said, Bjorn picked up the slack (brilliantly) in spamming the spammer (eliluv1@yahoo.com). Voila:

Dear Elizabeth:

My name is Eliott Donovan, and I am a secretary for Mr. James Edwards, the manager of money transactions in the US Department of the Internet. I am writing this personal email to you because I have recently become aware of an ongoing investigation into your dialogue with certain US citizens. As you may know, there are many examples of men and women in certain west and central African countries who want to invest money abroad for security purposes, and others who are only interested in exploiting members of the American public. I have been involved in several large-scale investigations into these issues, and from your personal details, I am certain that you are genuinely interested in investing money in the United States.

However, recent events within my office have led me to believe that my manager is interested in submitting a report to the US government. This report will recommend that the US government should start cracking down on foreign nationals that are sending emails to American citizens about estate transfers as a part of the ongoing "war on terrorism". This report is the result of pressure on our department, and I feel that many innocent people abroad will be ruined as a result.

As part of this investigation, two officials from the Department of the Internet have been exchanging emails with you. At this point, I do not believe that they have collected evidence on you, but I think that they may attempt to trap you and use this as an excuse to seize all of your assets. This is completely unfair, and it is my hope that I can keep you away from this fate.

Please respond ASAP, and I will contact you with further information. For my own safety, I hope that you can keep this information between the two of us. I do not wish to be arrested, and if these facts were made public I could be convicted by my government and sent to prison. Good wishes to you. God less.

Sincerely,

Mr. Eliott Donovan
US Department of the Internet

In which I plead with Elizabeth to please, please help me

Note Rocky asked today whether I was just MSTing or actually spamming the spammer. Yes, I'm spamming the spammer and this is an actual conversation with a Real!Live!Spammer. After all, I figure it can only lead to more spammage, and dude, after the weekend of SoBig and spam, I'm very proud of my inbox being able to stand up to the strain. Plus, I'm getting a malicious, snarky kind of joy out of spamming the spammer. And now, on with my latest response (note that I didn't remove her email address this time; feel free to spam her as well ::grin::):

--- Elizabeth Mulumba (eliluv1@yahoo.com) wrote:

> Dear Seema,
>
> please i will like to know if you are ready to
> assist me or not i do.I you are try and send me then
> complete information i requested in my first mail.

I am very eager to assist you. Little Hansolo (child
number three) has an ear infection and Obiwan (child
number seven) needs new shoes. So your email could not
have come at a better time. However, you did not
specify to me what information you required. I have
not a phone number because the phone company cut me
off because I had to use the money to buy medicine for
Anakin (child number two).

I would like to proceed on this matter very quickly. I
would also like to get to know yuo better. How many
brothers and sisters have you? And are they still in
Liberia? Also, if you know Mrs. Seko Seko, please let
her know I'm very worried as she has not responded to
my last email. She had some funds in Nigeria she
needed transferring and I was counting on that money
to help pay for heart surgery for Leia (child number
two).

Please respond with all due haste. I'm awaiting
eagerly by my email for your reply.

Your best friend,
Seema

Elizabeth writes back

Dear Seema,

please i will like to know if you are ready to assist me or not i do.I you are try and send me then complete information i requested in my first mail.

Elizabeth Mulumba

I respond to Elizabeth


--- Elizabeth Mulumba wrote:
>
> Hi Seema,
>
> I got your reply but i don't really understand the
> mail so please try and be specific.

Please tell me what you did not understand. English
is not my native language so I may have misunderstood
your letter. I am very very sorry for my bad English.
I will instruct my seven children to speak better as I
wish them not to miss profitable opportunities like
this one.

Seema

Response from Elizabeth Mulumba:

Hi Seema,

I got your reply but i don't really understand the mail so please try and be specific.

In which I respond to yet another spammer

--- Elizabeth Mulumba wrote:

> STRICKLY CONFIDENTIAL
> Dear Friend

Hi! I'm getting a warm and fuzzy feeling already -- it's very rare that I get such a personal and delightful salutation.

> Permit me to acquaint you with this proposal for the
> purpose of investment in your country.

I'm excited to hear this. As you might know, our country has a per capita GDP of $37,700 so it makes investment very profitable.

>This is my
> second mail to you,

Hmmm, I don't recall seeing an email with your name on it before. Are you a spammer perhaps? Or are you Mrs. Seko Seko? Mrs. Seko Seko sounds like she's in a heap of trouble with Nigerian authorities over the money issue and I'm very concerned about her. Do you know her? If so, please let her know that I'm concerned and am waiting to hear from her.

>I know this letter may come to
> you
> as a surprise since we have not met before.

But what a pleasant surprise it is!

>I got
> your
> contact from a searched I conducted in the local
> Internet network.

Excellent. I'm so glad you found me specifically, knowing that that there are approximately 500 million people online. I feel very privilleged to be chosen to make your aquaintance.

> My name is Elizabeth Mulumba, daughter of late Mr.
> Michael Mulumba.

My condolences on your father's passing. It must be very difficult for you to have to act on such business transactions in your time of grief. You are a very brave and courageous young woman.

>My father until his death was the
> Director of Gold/Diamond Mining field of Kono
> District
> in Margibi.

You must have been very proud. It sounds like a prestigious position. However, I could find no mention of your father in google, only copies of this letter -- which makes me think I have been deceived and you are sending this email to many, many people. However, I assure you of my fidelity and my ability to keep this email strickly confidential. You may cease sending this email to others and perhaps, give those names to Mrs. Seko Seko who is evidently in dire straits and deserving of assistance.

> Before his death in a private hospital
> in
> Monrovia, he disclosed to me the reason he was
> poisoned by his business associates

I'm profoundly dismayed to hear this. Have you reported this death to your local authorities? I assure you, while I am sympathetic, I have no background in law enforcement (other than when the police came to my place to break up a large party involving alcohol and loud music; noise travels very well when you live in a double-wide trailer with a corrugated tin roof).

> and that he even
> suspect President Charles Taylor been involved.

President Taylor is very busy, isn't he? If I understand news reports properly, he also has a rebellion on his hands and President Bush is making him leave Monrovia. So Taylor must be busy packing as well. Do you suppose he'll have a garage sale? The youngest of my seven children vomited on our living room sofa and I'm in need of a replacement. I hear Liberia has gorgeous furniture. Do you have a friend who might be able to put me in touch with a furniture expert?

>He
> revealed to me of a consignment containing
> US$23,500.00 (Twenty Three Million Five Hundred
> Thousand United State Dollars) he deposited in a
> private finance company Abroad for safety purpose
> since there was war in our
> country. He explained further that he declared the
> consignment as a family
> treasure and artifact to the finance company to
> avoid them raising eyebrows;

I'm glad to hear that your father is so considerate; raising eyebrows can be a painful process, sometimes taking as long as 18 years before one is free of the eyebrows (but then, one also has to send the eyebrow to college, which is very expensive, not to mention the emotional angst of having a dearly loved eyebrow living away from one's face). Kudos to your father for avoiding such expenses.

> hence they do not know the content of the
> consignment.
> He also directed me where he kept the deposit
> certificate and agreement reached with the finance
> company.

You and your father must be very close. I'm always thrilled to hear when fathers and daughters are close.

> He advised that I should leave in the event
> of his death immediately to facilitate the claiming
> and transfer of this money to any country of my
> choice
> for proper investment and also to avoid being killed
> by the people that killed him.

Indeed! I hope you are safe! And have reliable access to the Internet! Now that I have read your pitiful story and am well-aquainted with you, I fear for you, just as I fear for Mrs. Seko Seko. I pray that you are well, have food, and a safe place. You are my new best friend so I'm eager for this conversation to continue. As I have seven children all under the age of 10, it's often very difficult to have an adult, intelligent conversation. For that reason, I'm immensely grateful for your letter.

>Presently, I am in
> Accra Ghana while my mother and younger ones are
> still
> in Liberia after the burial and three months
> mourning
> as our village local tradition demands.

Are you not concerned for your mother and your younger ones? SHould I add them to the list of people in Africa whom I now must worry about unceasingly?

>I want you
> to
> assist me in this business as my late father
> instructed. Besides, I strongly want to continue my
> education in your country and you would definitely
> stand as my guardian and overseer of any investment
> made with this money.

Guardian? I know you're my new best friend, but I've got seven children already and I'm afraid I have my hands full. I applaud you, however, for desiring to continue your education in my country. I should let you know that you should bring along a brother if you have one; in my country, it's customary to marry one's siblings. It helps keep money in the family. Since you are recently come into so much money, I think this would be the best course of action for you to marry your brother as soon as possible.

> As soon as the consignment is out from the finance
> company and the transfer made, you will be
> compensated
> with 15% of the total sum, while the remaining will
> be
> for investment. If you are willing to assist me in
> this transaction, kindly contact me on my e-mail
> address state your phone and fax numbers in your
> next
> mail, I will then furnish you with the details.

I'm afraid that my phone has been turned off (the phone company says I owe them $239,103.34 cents for long distance calls made to Nigeria for inquiries after Mrs. Seko Seko) because of non-payment and as I'm unemployed, I have no access to a fax machine. However, I stand ready to help you!

> I am now in Accra Ghana but I hope I will be able to
> get a phone number soon.Reply through this email
> eliluv1@yahoo.com
> Thanks and God bless you.

As to you and yours. I hope toh ear from you very soon. Thank you.

Sincerely, Seema

Spammers - Idiot Tax. It doesn't get any more blunt than this, lemme tell you.

Stop opening attachments, you crazy people!

I get the sense my Yahoo! mail is going to simply keel over from exhaustion over the SoBig virus. As I said before, I've received quite a few of those virus emails, but today... today has been a beaut of a day. In three hours, I accumulated 38 of them, including several undeliverables that I apparently sent to "The Pratice"-related yahoogroups (man, I'm really a fandom floozy -- don't even have to work at it anymore. The virus is apparently streamlining my fan girl tendencies and getting me involved in new fandoms without any additional fic taxes on my part).

jemima advocates Macs for everyone, but in lieu of that solution:

• Update your virus software on a weekly, if not daily, basis.
  
• Use a firewall. McAfee, Norton, and Zonelabs all provide firewall software (Zonelabs has a free version).
  
• Don't open attachments, not even if it's from your bestest friend, and especially if it's someone telling you they love you
  
• Don't use IE or Outlook Express
  

Idiot moment of the week

Can't stand the heat? Please tell me I'm not the only one who wants to smack this editorial writer. The fact that it was written on August 14 a little better, but not much. Thousands of people have died in France and this person thinks ze is being funny. Sheesh.

So I survived the baseball game. Only four innings though. I still contend that baseball is dull, but I thought the stadium was terrific, though $3.50 for a bottle of water is pricey. Since this was right after work, I bought some Velveeta-drenched nachos to soothe my rumbling stomach (right, it's as gross as it sounds, as it also had runny salsa and gelatinous sour cream). Our seats were right behind right-field in the seventh row. And when we finally found them, I looked out at the field and there was Sammy Sosa no more than 15-20 yards away. I was like, "Sammy Sosa! I've heard of him!" My co-workers were amused, to say the least.

During the four innings I watched, both pitchers pitched no-hitters. So it was like watching people go up to bat, stand there for two minutes, and then sit down again. There was only one homerun and I missed it because I was eating my nachos. Or standing up to let someone go by. We stood up a lot to let people go by. At one point, while someone was passing by, he actually spilled his beer on the person sitting one row in front of us. Luckily, it was all good and there wasn't a brawl. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure I would have ended up wearing what was left of my nachos at that point.

Anyway, turned out I didn't miss anything by only staying four innings. It was a complete shut-out and the home team didn't score a single run. Poor Sammy got booed. A lot. Someone near us yelled out to him, "Hey, Corky!" and someone else made a sign and held it up; it read, "Where's the cork?"

Apparently I keep missing the Irrepressible Miss Barr on chats (and I quote jemima: "You just missed Liz!"). If this goes on much longer, I might start to take it personally. But good on you for going to Mozilla. Together, we'll all take the Internet back from the Evol Corp.

Yet another reason why to use Mozilla products

Worm Week Continues and my inbox confirms it. I estimate I'm getting 6-8 copies of this worm every hour, most of them from email addresses I don't recognize (which makes me wonder whose address books am I hanging out in?). Apparently, I'm sending out copies of this worm as well, thanks to the spoofing of my address. The 'undeliverable mail' message I received indicated that yes, once again, Outlook Express is the weak link.

So, link o' the day: Mozilla.

Why are you still here? Go. Download. Stop pop-ups and virus prolifergeration in one easy download.

Quiz results: My Bloginality is ISFJ!!!

Unlike most of the Myers-Briggs tests, this one doesn't take terribly long to take.

Tomorrow I'm going to a baseball game (stop laughing all you people who know me in RL! Stop it, I say, stop it!). I tried gracefully to get out of it but no go. I haven't been to a baseball game since... 1996 when I went to see the Vermont Expos play. Forgive me, but baseball is about as thrilling as watching grass grow or paint dry or painted grass dry (your choice). Up to about 8th grade, I played on a softball team. I played catcher. And I was bored even when I was playing. I don't even know who's playing tomorrow... this would be good information to have. ::ponders::

The positive thing is that tomorrow is massage Wednesday at work. I have a 1:15 appointment. Dude. After my day today, every single muscle in my back and shoulders is aching and as I said to co-worker, mine eyes doth bleedeth.

I shall report back tomorrow on whether I survived the baseball game or not.

That is all.

This amused me:

Scientologists, General asshats
Circle I Limbo

Libertarians
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

George Bush
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle IV Rolling Weights

The Pope
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Rednecks, Republicans
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Saddam Hussein
Circle VII Burning Sands

Qusay Hussein, Uday Hussein
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Viral Marketing. Yet another link Provided By Bjorn (tm).

I played tennis this weekend and even after 8 pm, it was very hot. In general, my ground strokes were decent (we won't talk about my currently defunct serve), but I have resumed my bad habit of crunching up on the forehand and getting way too close to the ball. I don't have this problem on the backhand -- I keep enough distance to give it a good whack, but the forehand is a lot weaker simply because I pull in and get too close. I was playing about 5-6 feet behind the baseline since my opponent is a heavy hitter and the first bounce usually lands right insde the baseline; I usually try to return as the ball is coming down for its second bounce. I seem to get the most power at that point, but of course, if I'm not right in position, it also means the ball does get the second bounce and point goes to the other side.

In other news, where is everyone? ::sniff:: I'm missing the chats o' doom... so, Modly Beings, how about it?

There was a meme going around once where you had to pick different songs for different events in your life if indeed your life became a cinematic drama. I couldn't come up with enough songs, but I do have a personal theme song, adopted during the hell that was NaNoWriMo. For some reason, it's not just that I love this song, but I feel it fits all too perfectly.

Moon River
by Harry Mancini

Moon river, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style, some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way.
Two drifters, off to see the world,
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end,
Waitin' 'round the bend,
My huckleberry friend,
Moon river, and me!

Useful Statements from the Workplace. I'd very much like to add my personal favorite to this list: "Do what you want to do, you're going to do it anyway" and also, "I have no idea, I only work here."

BTW, yesterday at the office, I got my first misdirected phone call. At Very Big Insurance Company, I got them all of the time; I think our department secretary sent them to me on purpose on occasion. Anyway, I tried never to transfer anyone randomly, which meant that I was often on the phone trying to track someone down for quite a while. So yesterday, someone got my number calling for tech support. We have something called 'Sametime' which is like AOL IM but for the workplace and it rocks -- so I sametimed the tech people, got the question answered, and voila, was able to transfer the guy without knowing what the heck he was talking about. And while I'm at it, it was great to get a tech question and not have to be the one to answer it!

Meme!

I've seen this in other places, so I'll try it here. I see my stats, I see people visiting, and with the exception of two or three people whom I know in RL, I'm not sure I know who the rest of you are. Soooo, pretty please, make a girl happy and leave me a note in comments, 'kay? Just let me know who you are and tell me a joke or where you found me and why you come here. Deal?

And did anyone else think W was a bit... stilted on the news conference yesterday?

The blog can wait

So quoth jemima. Would like to inform all of you at large that I have Internet once again. I have a phone line. I'm no longer living in a stone age. But alas, since I'm no longer unemployed carefree Seema, it's time for bed. Unfortunately, bedtime came before I had time to write tonight; jemima has agreed to cover my 1,000 words so you can just trip on over to her blog to see what I didn't write tonight.

Loss of email 'worse than divorce'. I'm now on day five without private Internet access. This article validates my feelings of grief and loss completely. Bravo to the BBC for giving those of us who are email-less column inches. It's lovely to finally be taken seriously.

So the move is tomorrow. I'm not nearly finished packing, but am too tired to contemplate doing any more. I figure, whatever I don't get now, I'll get on Labor Day. My bed calls. Anyway, no television until Tuesday, no electricity until Monday, and no telephone until Wednesday. The apartment complex is pinch hitting for me on the electricity so I can, y'know, actually stay there, but everything else is sketchy. So I'm basically offline until then. If you're one of the people with my cell number, feel free to call me. You'll most certainly get my undivided attention :-)

Can't remember if I blogged this before or not, but if you use Netscape or Mozilla, type about: mozilla in the address bar and see what happens.

There's nothing worse than writing up a really long email which, in the first place, hasn't been answered in weeks, and then, just as you're about to write "Talk to you later," Mozilla decides to go belly-up. Grrr....

In other news, I've finally settled on an apartment for the new job. I've decided to live near downtown and go the luxury route. Apartment rents are cheap right now, comparatively. So I've decided to indulge while I can. Who knows, in a year or a two, these rents will go sky-high again. So I figured, what the heck? Enjoy it for now. So I'm really kind of busy right now. Not trying to ignore anyone really, but I'm a bit on the harried side. And no, I haven't started packing yet...

Shop until you drop

So, exactly what the title says. This was tax-free weekend here, meaning no sales tax on clothing this weekend. Which means you spend $10, you save 85 cents and you get to dodge people. Lots of 'em. Most of them shopping in Old Navy. Note to kids going back to school: you're all going to look exactly the same.

Which is a long way of saying that yes, I was a lemming and I was so at the mall. Shopping. I dragged Sarah along for moral support. I'm not good at the shopping thing because I'm convinced that clothes are not made for 'real' women, so Sarah was along to convince me otherwise. I found a few things at my favorite haunt, Casual Corner. but in general, didn't fall into line with any trends. It's hard to have curves and be trendy. I did, however, buy a skirt in a style I've been lusting after since last summer in France. And a fire engine red silk tan top. And three shirts in various shades of white. And a new pair of penny loafers. Only thing missing was a pair of black slacks, but not for lack of trying. We topped off our marathon shopping spree (4 hours in the mall -- long time for me anyway, since my previous record was 25 minutes) by going out to dinner.

And since I've shopped, I'm oh so ready to drop. G'nite, moon!

Think because you name

Baby's named a Bad, Bad Thing. I would suggest not eating or drinking while going through this site. Your keyboard will thank you.

File under WTF?

Someone on VH-1's "Top 200 Pop Icons" just called Ben Affleck the new Cary Grant. Why this amuses me, I cannot say, not that, I have another candidate who I would call the new Cary Grant. What's next, J.Lo as Grace Kelly?