Who says you can never go home again?

Very Big Publishing Company and I have been engaged in a spat for the last 10 days. You see, it took a Very Long Time (tm) for VBPC to realize I had left the company. For two or three months after I left, I was still receiving information on health benefits and the subscription to one of VBPC's most popular publications (which, btw, I was glad about). The thing that got me all het up was when VBPC sent me a letter informing me I still had active accounts with them. I ignored the letter for quite a while because you see, I was under the impression -- given my last conversation with VBPC -- that all my accounts were closed. A couple weeks ago, I found the letter again while cleaning and noting the June 20th expiration date on it, I thought, Hmmm, I should probably figure out what that's all about. So I called VBPC's outsourced HR department and the conversation went something like this:

Me: You sent me a letter about open accounts?

VBPC: I need your PIN to tell you about the letter we sent you

Me: I don't have a PIN. I left the company in December. I have shredded every non-tax related document regarding VBPC.

VBPC: Well, I can't tell you anything without a PIN

Me: Can you at least tell me if this letter is something I have to worry about or is it just another administrative boondoggle?

VBPC: I need your PIN.

Flash forward 10 days; VBPC has allegedly sent me my former PIN via snail snail mail. Somehow VBPC has always managed to find the slowest possible way of communicating to employees. Hence, I didn't get my benefits package until more than six months *after* I joined the company.

Me: You guys were supposed to have sent me my PIN and it hasn't come yet. Can you at least tell me what's going on?

VBPC: Please give me your PIN

Me: I just *told* you...

VBPC: Okay, give me the following identifying information.

Me: ::gives identifying information::

VBPC: Ah, okay, that allows me to see your account. Yes, you have money with us still.

Me: I cashed out of those back in February. I'm no longer with the company. Where is this money coming from?

VBPC: We made a deposit to your account in March.

Me: ::headdesk:: I left the company in December

VBPC: Well, if you don't make arrangements for this money RIGHT NOW, we're going to tax you into oblivion

Me: Okay, don't do that, I don't like that idea. What do I need to do?

VBPC: I need your PIN

Me: ::headdesk::

Despite having verified my identity completely, VBPC refused to initiate a transaction without that four digit number (which, btw, is completely random and I never remembered it even when I was working there). Anyway, to make a long story short, I came home frantically and checked my mail. Still no PIN number. I was resigning myself to the inevitable: come Monday morning, Uncle Sam would get a huge chunk of money that I didn't even know I had in the first place. So I got online and fiddled around with logging into VBPC's HR site and on my second try, managed to log in, and was thus able to save my newly found windfall from Uncle Sam's greedy clutches. Who says you can't guess randomly at four-digit numbers and succeed? Powerball, here I come!