Pret-a-porter

How is it that I have a closet that's the size of some houses filled with clothes and I still have nothing to wear? This morning, I literally tried on EVERYTHING in my closet and was unhappy with everything. This skirt made my hips look too wide, this shirt had lost its shape, these pants needed ironing, this dress had deodrant marks on it, this skirt was too short, this blouse needed to be sent to the dry cleaner's already and so on so forth.

I'm very attached to my things, which means I never, ever get rid of anything that might still fit. I have clothes from high school and I swear, somewhere I have a pair of turquoise blue shorts and a purple t-shirt from middle school (and yes, I did wear those two together). The end result is a closet full of clothing that is starting to look old and faded, somewhat out of style, and perpetually wrinkly. I know I should go out and start getting some new things. My last major clothing shopping spree was two years ago, when I picked up a couple of blouses and some pants. Add to the fact that I'm cheap and let my dry cleaning JUST PILE UP and I hate ironing so half of my clothes are wrinkled -- well, you see the problem.

If I wasn't so cheap, I'd hire myself both a laundry service and a fashion consultant. The laundry service would take care of the dry cleaning, laundry and ironing and the fashion consultant would make sure I never left the house again wearing white socks and black shoes.