Hair be dragons

Here's the deal -- my hair hasn't been its natural color in quite a while, but at the same time, it had grown out a bit so I thought, hmmm, let me fix that. So I went to the store, found out they no longer make my hair dye and they said, "Here, try this, it's the same thing except NEW! IMPROVED! Fifty percent more free! And oooh, shiny pretty box!" What I didn't realize was the New!Improved!Fifty Percent More Free! was also insta-hair dye. The last hair dye barely would work, and after 30 minutes, I'd maybe see faint results. Not with the NEW!IMPROVED! hair dye; it gives insta-results in about 30 seconds. I keep walking back into the bathroom as my hair dries to see perhaps if the shade isn't as bad as it seems on initial look, and there's some slightly improvement, but people, the horrifying truth remains: I've gone red-blond.

Think about that for a moment.

This New!Improved! formula has turned thick black hair... red-blond.It wouldn't be so bad if it was uniformly red-blond, but unfortunately, it is splotchy red-blond, as if the dye decided to work sometimes and not other times. Wah! I have a very laissez-faire attitude towards my hair -- it's thick, dark, curly, unmanageable -- and so I usually tell it, "Do what you want, I'll just deal." Well, for the first time in my life, I'm thinking I'll put a hat or scarf on and NEVER TAKE IT OFF.