Tuesday, June 25, 2002

A Message from the Principal of Sweet Valley High

The Official Guide to the Blog Wars


We'd like to bring to your attention that the temporary cease-fire in the blog war has come to an end, thanks to a defiant cry of "Get over it!" echoing from the masses somewhere out there. There's also a bit of concern that some of the parties involved are taking things too seriously and others not seriously enough. There has also been a vague rumour that fandom may or may not resemble high school, and the Peace Keeping Force is looking into this allegation. It is not known yet what effect these recent events will have on the reconstruction of the Death Star nor on the exorbitant costs Amidala has incurred for her elaborate gowns and headdresses; however, all 'doomed to fail' marriages will proceed as planned, according to the wishes of Jemima. In addition, the status of Richard and Em is yet to be determined, though a lawyer has been arguing that the conclusion of the Great Film Classic The Blue Lagoon is inflammatory and should be moved to another venue, preferably the Antarctic, where clothes and good hair are necessary. The official dress code has yet to be voted on by Official Delegation, but the Swiss insist on black capes and shiny boots; they have wizards on their side, we think their motion will pass. We are not quite sure what to do about various members stranded on the Blue Lagoon but given that they are on the Planet of Baywatchers, it is theorized that rescue may come sooner rather than later. One can always hope.

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