What is the world coming to?

So, just days after the birth of little Superman Cage, along comes the news Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are expecting. You know, this creeps me out in so many ways, and the scary thing is -- and I'll admit to you, dear readers, because you are kind and understanding people -- at one time, I had the MOST ENORMOUS CRUSH ON TOM CRUISE.

Listen, you would have crushed too, if you were 10 years old, and you went to the movies, and there was "Top Gun", with planes buzzing up against a cloudless blue sky, and in the middle of all that flying was Tom Cruise, who apparently taught George W. Bush how to swagger, and who also, singlehandedly resurrected the Righteous Brothers into the best pick up line ever. Those dimples! That buzz cut! That volley ball scene! That SHIRTLESS, SWEAT-GLISTENING, VOLLEYBALL SCENE! Boys of summer, indeed.

My crush on Tom Cruise lasted throughout college, even though some people pointed out very helpful that despite those dimples, twinkling eyes, and blindingly white smile, he was short. Which I always thought was incredibly insane thing to say. First, Tom Cruise, while short, will always be taller than yours truly. And second, what difference does it make if he's short? It's not like I was ever going to meet him and run off with him. Because a) he had a wife at the time, and b) I was too young for him.

Eh, scratch that last one.

I'm just saying, that before the whole couch-jumping, chest-thumping, crazy-in-love Tom emerged, I kind of crushed on the guy and while it's been many years since I've felt quite the same about the man, I do feel nostalgic for the non-crazy, nice guy action hero I'd gotten used to. Tom Cruise, still short, but now weird as heck too. Ah for those days of yore, when celluloid fantasy still trumped the flesh and blood.