Attack of the weenies

The thing about Al-Qaeda that is seriously annoying -- I mean, other than the mass murdering aspect of the organization -- is that they don't actually seem to have any goals in life other than to end up in a blissful place where many, many virgins wait on them hand and foot. And since they don't have any goals in life, they're bent on disrupting everyone around them who might be trying to make a change for the better. Forget the jihad on the 'infidels', apparently fellow Muslims are fair game too as evidenced by the execution of the top Egyptian envoy to Iraq.

If I had a chance to sit down with Osama Bin-Laden and his goons, I'd ask them straight out, "What is it that you're actually trying to gain by killing all of these people?" I don't buy the whole "we hate America" argument and I'm not particularly enamoured of the President's "they hate freedom" argument. It's not necessarily that Al-Qaeda hates freedom or America, but rather that they don't have anything else to do. I mean, how bored do you have to be to have lost all love for humankind, and hell, your own life that you are willing to strap on explosives, get on a crowded bus, and blow yourself up? Especially if you don't actually accomplish anything? To me, that's not a fight against 'freedom' or America or anything else -- those people who are pissed off because they don't have any other way to be.

Other terrorist organizations like the PLO and IRA blew things up, but they also had a political wing, and an aim in mind. Al-Qaeda doesn't have a list of demands and it doesn't seem like they want anyone else to have an opportunity to better themselves; hence, they're attacking Iraqis who are training to be soldiers and police; Osama, dude, if you keep killing Iraqis off, we Americans aren't going to be leaving any time soon, which no doubt, is gonna make you even more purple-faced than you already are. But logic isn't the name of the game here. AQ may be many things, but rational isn't one of them.

Wanton destruction without a list of demands, well, that's just a waste of resources -- expending energy, capital and skill sets in missions that don't actually produce a return of any kind. Acting all pompous and "We bring the infidels to their knees", well, that's bravado. Newsflash AQ: Western civilization is still here. Maybe Al-Qaeda just likes chaos, maybe they like playing David to what they see as Goliath -- Western Civilization -- or maybe they just like getting attention. They're probably high fiving right now over the bombings in London saying, "Ha! We did it again! We terrorized people."

Sorry, Osama. Sorry, Zarqawi. Hate to disappoint you, but you don't scare me because you are all a bunch of weenies. If you're gonna fight a battle, at least be man enough to show your face in public and heck, maybe even think about pulling up a chair to the negotiating table and telling us just what it is we need to do to make you go away. Stop with all of this cave-hopping nonsense. The fact that you can haul butt through Afghanistan and Pakistan tells me you've got some game in those frail bones of yours, but honestly, Osama, I think you're lazy and it shows in your 'work'.

Al-Qaeda goes after soft targets because it's easy and they don't even make a pretense of wanting anything of all the murder, mischief and mayhem. They have beheaded many people, and in some cases, made demands that were obviously not going to be met by various governments. Al-Qaeda in those cases was either optimistic or just plain bent on spilling blood that it just kept on kidnapping and killing. It wouldn't have matter if President Bush had said, "Let's go home, boys," after the first American was captured. Al-Qaeda would have killed him anyway and then found something else to get pissed off about, because that's what they do.

I'm still a firm opponent of the war in Iraq. I don't think the war in Iraq has made us safer. Rather, it has moved Americans to a place where they can be easier targets for the jihadists who clearly don't want to have to work at making their non-point and who have nothing to lose and nothing to gain. You can bet Al-Qaeda is thrilled to pieces to have so many of the infidels in their midst, making it so easy for them to find something to do. It doesn't occur to Al-Qaeda that maybe they ought to take up bridge-building or figure ways to restore water and electricity. Progress isn't what Al-Qaeda is all about and until they find a hobby that doesn't involve killing and maiming, we're stuck with them.

The sad fact of the situation is, our brave men and women over there are taking the heat for us. Sign up for the Army these days and you're essentially volunteering to be a target for Al-Qaeda. But there's a courage in deciding that something must be done and working towards a goal and regardless of my feelings about the Iraqi war, I admire those people who are over there shouldering the burden for the rest of us. Working towards change means something. Fighting against change because you're too scared to accept the premise that you might be actually benefit from opportunity and new ways of thinking, well, that's not a quality that's attractive to virgins. I'm just saying.