Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Flying the friendly skies

Warning: Disturbing content ahead, especially for those of the male persuasion. As the NBC commentators told us so often during the Olympics: If you don't want to know, look away now!

And now, to the blog content:

Jemima pointed me to this link: Ace of Spades HQ: Russian Planes Exploded From Toilets as it is somewhat related to my previous entry. First I boggled, then I thought, and since my brain is directly connected to my keyboard, I blogged what I thought, in what I hope is a reassuring and caring way.

Women of the world, do not worry about your internal bits when flying through US space. You probably won't have to show them off, as that would require some semblance of professional medical care on site and (obviously) free of charge. We Americans are firmly against any kind of socialized medicine and so it's not likely women will end up with free PAP smears on an airport tarmac. In fact, I strongly advocate a check-up for women at the metal detectors at your local airport, perhaps throw in a mammogram or two just for kicks. Can't afford to visit your doctor? Just buy a airplane ticket, cheapest you can, try to look Islamic, and voila, you'll get your healthcare subsidized by the government. (Actually, I'm thinking that you probably don't even need to buy a plane ticket -- just rush the security gate and you'll get a full bodily cavity check gratis). So, in the words of our president, Bring it on!

Maybe tomorrow, I will share with you how my brother fights terrorism, one traffic light at a time.*

* I keep meaning to blog my entry on 'Location^3' but I keep getting distracted. It's all Jemima's Fault (tm).

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