Christmas shoes!

And it's not even December yet! I swear to God, Christmas is earlier every year. There used to be a sacred line one did not cross until the Friday after Thanksgiving. That's when the wreaths and lights went up and the shopping for the tree commenced. Christmas carols before Thanksgiving was unheard of. And yet, this year, the department stores started putting out their red and gold finery before Halloween and horrors of horrors, today I heard the dreaded "Christmas Shoes" on the radio.

And after years of ranting about "Christmas Shoes", I have a confession to make, and you have to forgive me, excuse me, because I was weak, and I had just come from the gym and you know what it's like when your stomach is imploding in on itself because it's starving and your muscles are all tingly because you've beaten them into submission. You know this feeling, you know it makes you weak, and the fact is, I FELL for the stupid carol. So there I am, driving along my beautiful tree-covered street and feeling this unfamiliar lump forming in my throat, this dryness in my throat, and just maybe, just maybe, my contact lenses are feeling a little moist.

I changed the radio station after a minute or two, but I'm quite haunted by this experience, mystified even. It's kind of like those "Little House on the Prairie" eps that are so over the top that they've landed on the other side and yet you still cry. You still cry because it's like this escalation that grabs you by the heart strings and just won't let go even though you have every right in the world to protest because your emotions are dragged through the wringer for no earthly good reason. I'm still a firm believer that there are certain things that are easy to 'feel' and people -- songwriters, poets, writers -- fall back on those crutches every single time because let's face it, who isn't going to be moved somewhat by the image of a poor little child trying to do right by his momma on her (potentially) last Christmas on earth?

I might have fallen for it this time, but I see through you, "Christmas Shoes" and your treacly maudlin story. You got me this once, but never again, because in the end Lori summed up the carol the best: "Ewww..."