Tech victory

My television remote control has been on a slow death march since last week. I thought, at first, that it was a battery issue, especially since it immediately started responding when I changed the batteries. But, last night, it started balking again, REFUSING to change the channel, INCREASE OR DECREASE the volume, or any such thing that is in its contract. I was faced with the possibility that my television remote was clicking its last.

My television is nearly 10 years old. My parents got me the set for my 21st birthday. I was going to be living by myself for the first time in snowy, cold Amherst, MA for the winter session -- no roommates, no nearby friends -- and my parents decided a television was the thing to chase away those December and January lonely nights. The television has been through a lot since our first winter together. It spent a summer in an non-air conditioned loft storage space in South Hadley (my friend, Bean, still hasn't forgiven me for this particular thing), and then it summered in Boston (without me -- our first prolonged separation; we missed each other desperately), and then it was UPS'd back to me sometime in the fall of 1998. The television was fine, but the remote control was missing its back, exposing its battery innards for all the world to see.

I started investigating replacement remotes yesterday and was horrified to discover just how expensive these things could be. For $229, the remote better well cook me dinner too! Whatever happened to simple clickers? I found a generic remote that claimed to work on all Sharp televisions manufactured since 1988, but that cost $30, and then the actual replacement for my current remote was $29.99 -- kind of high for a 10-year old remote that operates nothing but a 10-year old television. For $29.99, I expect more out of my remote -- at least turn on my 12-year old stereo. I'm just sayin'.

I have two allegedly universal remotes -- one of the DVD player, the other for the VCR -- and even though I'd failed in the past to figure out how they connect to my television, I decided to give it the good old girl try one more time, especially after my brother suggested reading the manuals (apparently just pointing the so-called 'universal' remotes at the television and willing it to turn on the television or violently jabbing at the buttons isn't the way it's done). I found the manual for my VCR fairly quickly, as well as the one for my television (10 years old! Two states! Six cities! And I still have the manual! Miracles of miracles!).

It took me forever to understand the instructions in the VCR manual on programming the remote and I did do the violent, ungraceful jabbing at buttons, and pointing at the television, just *willing* it to work (despite the fact I've already acknowledged willpower and 'mind over matter' has nothing to do with getting an intricate combination of circuits and wires to work, but I'm nothing if not optimistically stubborn). And... nothing. Finally, on the fifth or sixth try, I finally got the right combination and now, ladies and gents, I declare victory. My VCR remote now beautifully operates my television, doing everything from turning it on to raising and lowering the volume. I love technology. I think.