Wednesday, June 19, 2002

On my mind

Still catching up on RL and figuring out what's going on with stuff, namely the job. The fact that I don't want to call my boss and tell him I'm back is the first big clue that I don't want to go back to the job. I'm probably going to extend my leave as long as I can. I know the economy is bad and it's hard to find a job - I take some comfort in the fact that in one year, I'll be an MBA and I'm more general than specific. Nearly four years of project management and training has gotten me to the point where I won't be happy to doing just one thing. I liked the variety of my projects, even if I was having to deal with people who seemed ill-suited for their positions (translation: how the heck did you end up here anyway?). But at the same time, a part of me is very motivated to just up and leave - friendly-like, of course - and that would get me going to find a new job for next summer.

I've been looking at the budget to see if I could survive without a job and the answer is definitely yes. It would be nice to keep the job just because of the health insurance issue, but if I could find a GA position and get the insurance through the university, that would be acceptable as well. It's just a tough time all around and being risk-averse, resignation is like taking a flying leap off a bridge without looking. I'm also afraid that if I don't cut the ties now, I'll be stuck at this company forever - that I'll fall back on this position and not look very hard for a new job. I'd hate to go back to what I was doing before I decided to go after the MBA. Isn't that the whole point of getting an MBA? To have more opportunities? To do something different? As a coworker once said, "I was looking for a job when I found this one..."

I've been fiddling with the fic a little bit and it's much less nebulous now, more along the lines of what I wanted. It's kind of like throwing words up against a computer screen and seeing what sticks. I'm much happier now with the way things are going, but we'll see what the beta has to say - she does have veto power and it's quite scary when she excercises it. I hope that won't be the case here ::looks hopefully in La Beta's direction::. It's still strange to write - I haven't got a style right now. My fic always goes in stylistic waves - I can practically chart the months/years by the style of writing or the subjects tackled. I get rather bored quickly with one style or one character - in a way I like to play with ideas or types of writing and see what happens. A little third person here, a little first person there, alternating POVs, you get the picture. Weird pairings are my thing right now - someone requested another Picard/Janeway recently, can't remember who, but that could be fun to tackle again. We'll see what the muse brings.

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