I'd like to teach the world to sing

Once a year at Very Big Insurance Company, the company would hold a picnic for all employees and you'd basically get most of the day off from work. There would be games, contests, free food, and we'd all get some kind of silly gag gift (I still have my lei from the last picnic I attended). One year, my department decided to enter the karoke contest and somehow, I got myself involved as one of the main singers. We decided to sing "My Boyfriend's Back" and we had a whole dance routine worked out, and the main vocals would be split between yours truly and two other people. We practiced several times after work and I had a tape made so I could belt out my part in the car.

The day of the picnic came and my co-worker A. came to watch our dress rehearsal. Until I saw A. sitting there, I was very confident. And then all of a sudden it hit me: I was getting in front of 1,800 fellow employees and singing. I think I forgot the words to the song right there and then and I couldn't even do the little cute dance we had practiced so hard. I wanted to back out, but since I was doing one and half of the lyrics on my own, it wouldn't be fair to my co-workers. I was nervous and miserable, to put it mildly. But somehow, I got the dress rehearsal together and A. nodded approvingly and said we were good and he was sure we were going to win.

Before going on stage, I kept wiping my palms on my white polka-dot navy blue sundress and my heart was thumping and I kept turning to C., whose idea this all had been, and mumbling under my breath. She kept saying things like, "Seema, I can't hear you!" A few minutes before showtime, A. came up to me. "Hey," he said, "I just wanted to wish you good luck." I just kind of gave that half-smile you give when you're afraid of opening your mouth because otherwise your chattering teeth are going to fall out of your mouth. "Thanks," I said. And then he gave me a bit of advice, that to this day, still makes me smile when I think about it. "Good luck," he said. "Don't be afraid to be loud, remember to enunciate and for God's sake, don't forget to breathe."

There were ten teams that competed that day. I'm not sure if we were last or not, but we were pretty darn close. Still, it was a lot of fun, and pretty much marked the beginning and end of my on-stage singing career. You can still, however, hear me in my car.