Across the pond

Another trip coming up and I'm nervous about it for any number of reasons. I'm just not feeling it. Usually I'm super excited about going to a place I've never been to before, but this time, I just get the... I don't know. There's something that doesn't feel right to me. However, the next trip, I'm completely cool with. It's just this one that feels a little off. I think maybe if I do some research about my destination, find a guided tour that I can take over the weekend when I'm not working, I think I'll be fine. Just have to keep the anxiety to a dull roar.

The hunt

Towards the end of May of 2003, I applied for a job at Very Big Publishing Company. I started work there in August of 2003. So from time of application to interview to acceptance to first day was about 2 months. Total number of jobs applied to: 50. Number of interviews: 2. Both companies I interviewed with called me back for second interviews and one offered me the job. The other one chose someone else but then called me six months later to offer me the job; I had to decline as I'd already moved across the state for Very Big Publishing Company.

In the fall of 2003, I realized that the job at Very Big Publishing Company wasn't a fit. Yes, I was finally an editor, but it wasn't what I thought it was going to be and the work environment was debilitating. I got my next job in December of 2004, but I applied to about 30 jobs over that 15 month period. I had two interviews, including one randomly weird and long-winded process; believe it or not, the job I got I only interviewed for about 45 minutes and they called and offered me the job a few weeks later.

I didn't start looking for another job until the spring of 2007. I really liked the job I took in December 2004, and I especially liked the people I worked with. But I also realized I had reached the limit of what I could do there and it was time for a new challenge. My job search was so new in the spring of 2007 that I don't even have a record of what I looked for or how many jobs I applied for. I got an interview within a couple of days of posting my resume on Careerbuilder.com and then I got that job a couple months later.

So far, I've applied to 35 jobs during the month of July and month-to-date August. I've had 5 "rejections" so far, one call-back for an interview, and the rest have been no response. Given that the conditions now are about the same as they were in the spring of 2003, I'm thinking I have another 20 or so applications to fill out to get at least one more interview.

It's mentally and emotionally exhausting. My stomach hurts more often than not these days, headaches are a constant companion, and sometimes I'm so anxious, I can't sleep. I'm trying to be upbeat and positive, but it's really not easy. Even though I've been working through the Impending Doom/punch-in-the-gut, as the saying goes, there's always something to remind me and it starts all over again. I'm just hoping that when all is said and done, I end up in a much better place.

LotD

Wow. Just. Wow. Here's a job tip NOT to follow. I am curious to know how successful this candidate is in looking for a job, i.e. does he/she get called back for a second interview or receive a job offer after pulling something like this? Just. Wow.

LotD

More on the Bush/Cheney saga here. I'm just fascinated by the dynamic. The Bush who is emerging post-term seems so foreign to me. The first hint of the nouveau!Bush is that he didn't start any more wars during his second term, but this rift with Cheney and Bush's sensitivity to public opinion is fascinating reading. I do still think Cheney is the Boogey Man though. I might be softening on Bush the person (though I still abhor his policies and his actions), but Cheney... he's a scary, scary man. To wit:

"What impressed me was his continuing zeal," said an associate who discussed the book with Cheney. "He hadn't stepped back a bit from the positions he took in office to a more relaxed, Olympian view. He was still very much in the fray. He's not going to soften anything or accommodate shifts of conscience. There was no sense in which he looked back and said, 'I wish I'd done something differently.' Rather, there was a sense that they hadn't gone far enough. If he'd been equipped with a group of people as ideologically rigorous as he was, they'd have been able to push further.

Disconnected

I was away from my computer all day today and it's so weird how disconnected I feel. I have no idea what has happened in the world outside since the first 20 minutes of the Today show this morning. I mean, on the one hand, I love busy days because you're just going and going, but on the other hand, every now and then it's nice to take a breather.

Darn it!

We actually tried to snag Best Buy's $9.99 52 inch Samsung television as a replacement for mine. I mean, TEN DOLLARS. What a steal. But alas, it was not to be. I shall continue onwards in life without a 52-inch television.

LotD

Writers may appreciate this blog: Mighty Red Pen; I learned the difference between comprise and compose here. And a blog dedicated to instances of apostrophe abuse here; this last one is a much needed public service.

LotD

Worst. Idea. For. A. Show. Ever. Apparently, a new show from Fox revolves around firing people on-air. Seriously. Real life people in real life jobs and their co-workers decide who goes, who stays. I just can't even fathom how something like this would work. Not to mention, who on earth would want to participate? I can't possibly see the value of Impending Doom being broadcast across the nation. And I know there are people who'd want to watch this train wreck of a show, but don't we see enough as we watch our friends and family members lose their jobs? Ugh. Terrible idea. As much as I enjoy reality shows, I'll pass on this one.

PSA

I can't remember if I've said this before, but even so, it bears repeating: if one eats fish (seafood), one is not a vegetarian. If one eats any thing that once had a face -- whether it's a chicken or a worm or a seahorse -- one is not a vegetarian. I really, really wish this trend would stop. I can't even count how many people have said, "Oh I'm vegetarian, but I love tuna salad and eat it every day," or something to that effect. People who shun all meat except for seafood (or any other one variety) are not vegetarians. It makes so hard for REAL vegetarians because people think we eat fish, and are shocked (SHOCKED!) when they find out that's not the case. Real vegetarians don't eat anything that once had a face. Vegans don't eat anything that once had a face and also skip eggs and dairy.

Hope that clears things up.

Socialite

What I like about Facebook is that in certain applications, it bears no resemblance to real life. Everyone talks about the status updates and the whole reconnecting with people from high school and middle school, but WHAT ABOUT THE GAMES? Only on Facebook can I have a dog (I strongly dislike dogs), a farm (I like the concept of gardening, but dirt on my hands makes me a little crazy), a restaurant (just awesome), and I can also spend time as a fashionista (which I'm not in RL).

On Facebook, I also can own a house with a windmill in the front yard and I have a job in Yoville, but I'm not quite sure what it is I do there (I seem to dance and laugh and joke with various friends -- if only I could turn that into a paying gig in RL!). At various points, I get to travel abroad in something called Kidnapped! and there's also a Mafia War going on. For a while, I was deeply embroiled in a Parking War. I also have a kingdom of my own and apparently my vassals are restless for my return; I don't know what is they expect me to do.

Right now the restaurant game is my favorite. It runs slowly and it's rather high maintenance (actually, all of the virtual life games are high maintenance); not quite feasible for someone who check the site every few days or so. It's like I go and plant crops on my farm, but by the time I return to harvest them, they're all dead. So the only solution is to keep coming back and that, my friends, is the ingenuity of Facebook. After all, you'd feel guilty too if your virtual dog was pawing at you for attention because you happened to have an attack of RL along the way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think have a war or three to fight.

LotD

It's not so much that my computer is slow, but my ISP is super slow. So much for high speed internet. I tested my connection here. I had thought about dropping down to SBC's $15 plan at lower speeds, but kept the $25 because I thought it would be too slow to stream video etc. Well, apparently according to speedtest.net, a turtle could outrun my connection. My upload speed is 0.31 mb/s and my download speed is 0.94 mb/s. Average for my ISP is 3.25 mb/s and for my region, 5.73 mb/s. Still faster than dial-up, but what's the point of high speed if it's just a smidgen faster? I'd better compare those numbers to what SBC says I'm getting for the money.

Cable is not an option as my current location only provides for DSL. But I'll be moving in a few months, so perhaps there will be another option then.

LotD

Here are some ideas on how to to expand the Cash for Clunkers program. I have a whole apartment full of stuff that I'd love the government to give me a rebate on so I can get something shiny and new. So how about it, Uncle Sam?

LoTD

Wow -- online speak has come a long way. I'm not a texter, so I haven't seen most of these. Almost scary. I shudder to think what this is doing to our grammar and spelling skills.

Impending Doom

Remember that book from the late 90s, "Who Moved My Cheese?" These days, it seems like lots of people are moving le fromage everywhere. "I didn't see it coming," one friend lamented to me a couple of days ago. Another friend said to me that she has survived two rounds of Impending Doom(tm) but now can't sleep or eat, she's so stressed because another round is sure to come.

I think waiting is the hard part. Anticipating kind of sucks too. I think the thing to recognize is that the cheese is going to move, whether you want it to or not. You need to always be thinking which way is which, and hopefully stay in front of the cheese.

Or something.

My point is, what's the plan? In situations of Impending Doom, it's rare that you as an individual have any control over what's happening or any influence whatsoever. So the only thing to do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best. And keep a stiff upper lip.

In my case, I made a plan which I hopefully will not have to implement. The plan, in broad strokes, goes something like this:

1) How will I handle myself? What questions do I need to ask?
2) What is my exit strategy?
3) What is next? How will I cope with extra time?

In the first case, I wrote out Things I Need to Know(tm). That way I don't miss anything important. This is the category for things like severance, insurance coverage, confidentiality agreements, non-compete clauses, etc. YMMV, but these are just some of the things to think about.

Second, how did you exit? I visualized what my vision of a dignified departure in the face of bad news would look like. I decided I wanted to be gracious and that I wanted to be sincere in my efforts. I wanted to feel like if I did indeed fall prey to Impending Doom (tm) that I had done everything I could to make myself and my company successful. I didn't ever want to look back and say, "I wish I had done that," or "If only I had done that." So I think about every day, "what can I do to be successful today? What can I do to make the company money today?" That way I don't have to be regretful about anything.

In the third case, I needed a plan for the extra time I might have on my hands. I can't possibly sit around and play word games on Facebook all day long. So I thought about what would I want to do? Do I want to write? Do I want to get back into web design? What about going back to school and acquiring additional skills? Honestly, all of those things sound like fun and I'm at a loss at focusing on just one of them.

Underlying all of this is the budgetary plan. This is the hardest part, and it's scary when you sit down and try to figure out how much your lifestyle costs on a monthly basis. Then you have to think that it could be 6 to 9 months before you find another job. I have friends who were out of work for a couple of years before finding something. YMMV. The point is, you take that Scary Monthly Lifestyle Cost and multiply it by 9. That's what you need to keep going.

Impending Doom, unfortunately, is broadening its reach. People who were safe through the first several rounds of layoffs aren't safe anymore. People talk about how to make yourself invaluable, etc., during this time -- how to keep the job you have. But at the end of the day, that decision isn't really yours, is it? I mean, to an extent you can make an effort, but roles and requirements change in a tight economy. So the idea is to have a plan of some kind so whatever happens, you can deal with it.

And honestly, it's better to plan now and not wait. There's a sense of security in knowing you know what's going to happen if the worst ever happens. Plus, if you've prepared and know how you want to deal with the situation, then you at least have the chance of being dignified and gracious. And remember -- the cheese is being moved because it's a business decision; it's not personal. The crummy part is, I think we understand the business decision part; it's the latter that's just so hard to accept and understand.

Look what I found!

X-Files 3! Okay, so it's just speculation and rumor at this point but a fangirl can always dream of a moose and squirrel reunion. Though I can say that XF2 was kind of a bummer of a film, it did have its super cute moments and just fun to be spending time with Mulder and Scully again (funny -- I almost typed in 'Skinner' instead of Scully -- Freudian finger slip, you think?). Here's a debunked rumor and here's a placeholder for a film due in 2012. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'd watch Mulder and Scully read a phone book, though honestly I'd hope Chris Carter and company do better than that.

Ick factor

No matter how often I read variations of this story, I still can't get over Ryan O'Neal hitting on his own daughter at Farrah Fawcett's funeral. I mean really, how out of touch do you have to be, how out of it do you have to be, to not even recognize your own child? So messed up.

Vewy intevesting

"Impending Doom" has taken an interesting twist. I can't figure out what to make of it. If my deliberate vagueness confuses you, it's because I'm being purposeful. The Internets have eyes, y'know. Just not sure what to do, but am keeping the guard up and the focus on moving forward. Because even if "Impending Doom" has been averted, I still have to look at the situation with a) mixture of relief but also that b) I learned something I didn't need/want to know and c) that makes me uneasy and unwanted. The ego is still recovering from its sucker punch and I've come too far in the last 30 days to relax now. Onward ho!

LotD

More workplace linkage. This time, meet Evil HR Lady. Interesting reading.

LotD

What happens when you're juggling two cell phones while driving? Apparently you end up in a swimming pool.

Resolution Almost

So after nearly 4 weeks, I finally have an appointment to get my car fixed. For those of you not in the know, I had a minor fender bender in my new car about a month ago. I was hit from behind IN A PARKING GARAGE BY A WOMAN WHO WAS TEXTING HER LAWYER. I felt bad for her because she was clearly distraught, in the process of getting a divorce, and for some reason, felt that A PARKING GARAGE WAS AN APPROPRIATE VENUE TO COMMUNICATE VIA TEXT MESSAGE WITH HER LAWYER.

There are so many things wrong with this incident on so many levels. Texting while driving at any time is super dangerous and distracting. I don't care how dexterous one is with their thumbs, you're not that good. Second, it's a PARKING GARAGE. A RESIDENTIAL PARKING GARAGE. Meaning, there are people backing in and out of spots all the live long day and people walking across the parking garage all the live long day. So it's not even the best place to TALK on your cell phone (especially when you consider it's a two-way garage, not a one way, and with tight corners; I affectionately call it "The Garage of Death.").

The point is, I had stopped and because she was texting, she did not see I was at a full stop and she hit me. Luckily, she owned up and now the insurance company is going to pay my claim. Anyway, she's off the hook now. She gave me her insurance information, but in return for her inability to make good decisions, I have had to do or will do the following:

1) I had to file a claim with Very Big Insurance Company. I used to work at Very Big Insurance Company for four years, so I know how they work and so I thought I was prepared. HA HA HA.

2) I had to go to the doctor because I had back pain from the incident. Doctor verified back pain and sent me to the pharmacist. I was out $40 from the incident, not to mention the 30 minutes at the doctor's office and the one hour at the pharmacy waiting for the prescriptions to be filled.

3) The claim rep called to let me know he got my claim, but then never called me again. So I then made a follow-up call but the claim rep had gone on vacation and they still had not contacted the woman who had hit me to verify the incident. They promised to call me.

4) They never called, so I called again. This time they agreed that my claim was valid, the woman verified it, and so now I can get it fixed, but to wait for the official letter.

5) I've received the official letter so now I made an appointment at the dealer to get it fixed. I'm taking it on Monday. In the meantime, I have to be without my shiny new car that I've owned less than 2 months. Luckily, I can drive my beloved Corolla instead of going to a rental. I find rental cars seriously annoying.

I feel very grateful that the accident wasn't worse than it was. I'm aggravated that my dream car has already been marred and in such a stupid fashion as well; I'm probably going to need an entirely new bumper (in addition to the dent, it also came loose from the frame of the car). And this accident was entirely avoidable in every way possible. She felt she needed to text her lawyer at that very moment in order to get something done, and those 30 seconds have caused a whole lot of aggravation on my end -- something that, with everything else going on in my life right now, I don't need.

Don't text and drive!