Tales from the Kitchen

So right, I'm feeling enormously productive. It's not yet 10 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday and manuscript has been printed, mailed off and I got an oil change. So I thought, must eat something and then go to the gym. Perfect plan. I had hard boiled eggs earlier in the week and so I peeled two of them and stuck them in the microwave for a few seconds to, y'know, take away the sting of the refrigerator cold?

Now I know all you talented cooks are saying, "But Seema..." and I know, I know, but I wouldn't be doing my civic duty if I didn't inform you that eggs, when placed in the microwave, are not happy campers. First, when you remove them, they hiss at you and make all sorts of whistling noises. I was like, "Oooh, eggs talk!" Of course, I did get that tingle of ominous anticipation running down my spine. But wanting to live life dangerously, I took a large fork (no need to be subtle about my intentions) and poked the eggs. And then, boom!

Yes, folks, I will be picking egg stuff out of places for weeks to come. I've got egg in my hair, on my face (thank God I was wearing glasses -- the hot stuff missed my eyes), under my shirt, on the cabinets, refrigerator, floor and even on the ceiling. I kid you not. Egg everywhere. I have already mopped up the floor and now have to figure out how to reach the egg that's on the ceiling. And have I mentioned exploded egg kinda reeks? Not quite on par as with spoiled milk or eggs, but still, there's a very distinctive aroma that I'm sure I'm going to be stuck with for weeks.

On the other hand, what was left of my eggs was quite delicious :-)