To whom it may concern
Here are the current NaNo standings. For the record, 500,010 words in 12 days, even given time zone differences, has to be bogus. That's 42,000 words a day, and if you work straight through and only sleep eight hours a night, that's 2,334 words an hour, 38 words per minute. Regardless of what jemima thinks, even I can't keep up that kind of pace.
I'm currently sitting somewhere around 41,000 and am about to need a lawyer. If you specialize in Constitutional law (US, that is), please drop me a line at email@example.com. It's much appreciated. Currently, I'm getting by by writing, "It's against the 14th Amendment!" So please, rescue me from my own lameness.